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Me and my ex still kept in touch even though we broke up. Because of the distance (her in Florida me in NY), she ended things with me. Fair enough. Love her to death and I'll cross the roughest seas, climb highest mountains etc blah, blah, blah. We of into some silly arguments but yesterday was the worse of them all. By far. She sends me some sexy, racy pictures of herself (nothing too cray cray ) to surprise me and of course arouse me. To make me miss and desire her more. So told her I loved them and I can't to have her and all that. She tends to put on lots of make up when she wants to look sexy and I tell her all the time how much I hate lots of make up. She's convinced that I am attracted to women with what I call "rodeo clown" make up on for whatever stupid reason. So I politely told her that she doesn't need to use make up to loo sexy. She totally flips out And makes a big stinker out of this situation. Saying she feels ashamed, embarssed and regrets sending me the pictures since she put so much effort into looking sexy.
She gets hysterical and begs me to delete the pictures then victimizes herself by saying I am being disrespectful by keeping them and reminding her how ashamed of the pictures she is, and that I am torturing her by keeping those pictures because "I want her to feel bad". I felt like this was a huge joke. She cried (literally) and told me that if I don't delete those pictures she's not going to have anything to do with me and that her view of me will be tarnished unless I delete those pictures. She said she won't love me etc.
I'm pretty flabbergasted by all this and can't believe she wants to seriously end our relationship by 3 stupid pictures. I feel like didn't do anything wrong, I thought about it in many ways and can't find anything wrong with what I done. I feel like she's making this issue 100 times worse. She has pictures of me which I HATE but I never asked her to delete them if she likes them. I feel like if I appease her and delete the pictures, I'll be lowering myself down to her immaturity. Unless I am convinced that I am wrong, I will GLADLY apologize to her. Til then, don't feel like I have done anything wrong or THAT bad if anything.
What's your take on this situation? Should I go NC for a bit and let her think things through? Maybe not give into her threats. Give her time to realize she's being overtly dramatic and that losing our relationship is not worth it? Or am I perhaps very much in the wrong here? Let me know everyone.
So long story short, your girlfriend sends you sexy pictures and your first response is to tell her she's wearing too much makeup in them? And you're asking why she's now feeling self-conscious? Okay, so she is flipping out a bit, but this is one of those situations where all you needed to say was, "baby, you look hot!" The end. Not the time to discuss her grooming habits.
Maybe the pictures aren't "too cray cray," but your ex is. For one thing, it makes no sense whatsoever to send them to you. She ended things with you. Now it's like she's playing mind games. It's like she's saying, "I dumped you and we're broken up, but I want you to keep thinking of me and missing me." How manipulative, juvenile, and needy is that?
And then to castigate you for looking at them and keeping them?
Maybe the pictures aren't "too cray cray," but your ex is. For one thing, it makes no sense whatsoever to send them to you. She ended things with you. Now it's like she's playing mind games. It's like she's saying, "I dumped you and we're broken up, but I want you to keep thinking of me and missing me." How manipulative, juvenile, and needy is that?
And then to castigate you for looking at them and keeping them?
can't believe she wants to seriously end our relationship
Give her time to realize she's being overtly dramatic and that losing our relationship is not worth it? Or am I perhaps very much in the wrong here? Let me know everyone.
Something doesn't add up here. You said the relationship was already over, she ended it due to distance. So why are you talking as though you're still in a relationship? Do you mean "friendship" rather than "relationship"? Why is she sending you racy photos if you're just friends? She doesn't love you anyway, right--she broke up with you, verbally at least, if not photographically.
There's a lot of drama here, but also a LOT of mixed messages! We need some clarification. It sounds like you do, too.
Something doesn't add up here. You said the relationship was already over, she ended it due to distance. So why are you talking as though you're still in a relationship? Do you mean "friendship" rather than "relationship"? Why is she sending you racy photos if you're just friends? She doesn't love you anyway, right--she broke up with you, verbally at least, if not photographically.
There's a lot of drama here, but also a LOT of mixed messages! We need some clarification. It sounds like you do, too.
No,no. We broke up but doesn't mean we don't love each other. I don't think breaking up with someone doesn't always mean you don't love them anymore. You can break up with someone and still have feelings, sometimes differences cause people to break and in this case it was the distance. Was too much to handle. We still speak (or spoke) because we love each other. But to answer your question, she means ending the relationship as a whole, as in us not having any potential to patch things up. Not as boyfriend and girlfriend. Hope this clarifies some things for you.
OP, it's all about timing. Leaving the "should she have even sent them to you considering you aren't together" bit out of the picture, she obviously put herself on the line by sending them to you in the first place. In my experience, a woman who sends those types of pics to a man is not exactly looking for criticism (in any form). Instead, they're looking for affirmation.
While I'm sure you found them sexy (even with makeup), you deflated the whole experience with your comments. You might not think you're in the wrong, but consider the fact that you likely hurt her feelings. If you enjoy hurting her feelings, then you're good to go. If not (and I suspect this is the truth), then you are wrong and should apologize. I suspect that if you offer a genuine apology, she'll be ok with you keeping the pics and may even send you additional images (sans makeup) as a gesture of forgiveness.
I have more issue with the fact that you used the term "cray cray" than anything else in this entire post. Honestly, are you guys 14 years old? I've got adult issues to deal with now like bills and what not...
What's your take on this situation? Should I go NC for a bit and let her think things through? Maybe not give into her threats. Give her time to realize she's being overtly dramatic and that losing our relationship is not worth it? Or am I perhaps very much in the wrong here? Let me know everyone.
Her reaction is unacceptable but since you "love her to death" and all, I suggest deleting the photos and tell her you did so.
[since it is so important to her that you do so]
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) to surprise me and of course arouse me. To make me miss and desire her more. So told her I loved them and I can't to have her and all that. She tends to put on lots of make up when she wants to look sexy and I tell her all the time how much I hate lots of make up. She's convinced that I am attracted to women with what I call "rodeo clown" make up on for whatever stupid reason. So I politely told her that she doesn't need to use make up to loo sexy. She totally flips out And makes a big stinker out of this situation. Saying she feels ashamed, embarssed and regrets sending me the pictures since she put so much effort into looking sexy.
