If you were me, who would you choose? (long distance, single, younger)
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Then "A" it is! A bird in the hand...
Oh, wait. B is more stable than A? Would you be ready for serious involvement with B, if that's what he wants? Are you ready for that? Would you be willing to be with a guy who was away for work a lot? If B is texting you twice daily, you probably shouldn't be going out with A, don't you think? Unless you're willing to break it off with B.
Stability, guaranteed employment as an engineer, devoted to you, stays in touch. But isn't around regularly.
vs. ... unstable. But is right there.
Did you make any kind of commitment to B before he left? Was there any kind of understanding between you two? Or was it just 3 dates, and he's hoping to turn it into something more?
I didn't make any commitment with B. He asked me when we were texting the other day. I think he's plan was to ask me when he comes back that's why he asked me if I could wait for him ( he asked me to not date other guys). I told him I wouldn't wait so he asked me to be his gf right when we were talking.
A is great and around but what if he's not looking for something more exclusive like a real relationship. He may want to accomplish more in his life and being in a serious relationship may not be his priority. While B has his life put together already and so far were a good match. But I have to consider that his away alot of times.
B seems to be rushing it a little. How can you make any kind of a commitment to someone you've only been on 3 dates with? He's worried you're going to be seeing someone, probably, so he wants to lock the deal. But it's premature, imo. Even when he returns, you should go on some more dates with him before making a commitment. Obviously, you're not in love (yet), so making a commitment would be inappropriate at this stage.
That doesn't answer your question re: what to do with A, though.
I didn't make any commitment with B. He asked me when we were texting the other day. I think he's plan was to ask me when he comes back that's why he asked me if I could wait for him ( he asked me to not date other guys). I told him I wouldn't wait so he asked me to be his gf right when we were talking.
A is great and around but what if he's not looking for something more exclusive like a real relationship. He may want to accomplish more in his life and being in a serious relationship may not be his priority. While B has his life put together already and so far were a good match. But I have to consider that his away alot of times.
I don't know about that statement. My SO and I started out LDR, a little different circumstance than your situation but neither one of us came out and asked the other in that serious of a tone. It was more casual like, Haha, stay away from the boys and her telling me, stay away from the girls. I don't see how someone can come out and almost demand that so early on.
I don't know about that statement. My SO and I started out LDR, a little different circumstance than your situation but neither one of us came out and asked the other in that serious of a tone. It was more casual like, Haha, stay away from the boys and her telling me, stay away from the girls. I don't see how someone can come out and almost demand that so early on.
Yeah, I agree with this. I'm starting to get a vibe that B may be the controlling type. Maybe not, maybe he just really likes you and doesn't want to lose you. But he's pushing it too soon. There's a little red flag there. Make a mental note, and then see how things go when you next see him in person.
We had a couple of threads here recently by guys who were terrified their women were going to have affairs. One was going to deploy in the armed forces, and was working himself up about rumors he'd heard about military wives cheating on their guys when they were deployed. Maybe this is how guys think. But there should be trust. You and B haven't had a chance to really get to know each other and build trust. You can't build trust by making someone agree to exclusivity. Trust occurs naturally as the relationship evolves. B isn't going to be available to build a relationship, with all his travel. He's trying to rush the process, but that's not how it works.
I don't know about that statement. My SO and I started out LDR, a little different circumstance than your situation but neither one of us came out and asked the other in that serious of a tone. It was more casual like, Haha, stay away from the boys and her telling me, stay away from the girls. I don't see how someone can come out and almost demand that so early on.
He didn't exactly say " Don't date other guys" . He says, " Would you wait for me." , " Your not gonna date other guys, right" . Sorry if I rephrased it wrong.
Yeah, I agree with this. I'm starting to get a vibe that B may be the controlling type. Maybe not, maybe he just really likes you and doesn't want to lose you. But he's pushing it too soon. There's a little red flag there. Make a mental note, and then see how things go when you next see him in person.
We had a couple of threads here recently by guys who were terrified their women were going to have affairs. One was going to deploy in the armed forces, and was working himself up about rumors he'd heard about military wives cheating on their guys when they were deployed. Maybe this is how guys think. But there should be trust. You and B haven't had a chance to really get to know each other and build trust. You can't build trust by making someone agree to exclusivity. Trust occurs naturally as the relationship evolves. B isn't going to be available to build a relationship, with all his travel. He's trying to rush the process, but that's not how it works.
It sounds like guy B is more into you than you are into him. If you really liked guy B, enough to be exclusive, you wouldn't even be asking about guy A. That's my take on it.
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