Is 35 a good cut-off point? (girls, singles, older, children)
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I wouldn't say a cut off age for dating is necessary...just focus on your own life and career. If someone comes along, they come along, but if you feel like your efforts are wasted there's no need to throw your time down the well.
Actually, 35 is when I started waking up to my own dysfunctional relationship patterns. I started realizing that I was picking/attracted to the wrong kind of people...and I also realized I contradicted myself a lot. I said I wanted a boyfriend, but I didn't behave like someone who wanted that (I was kinda slutty amongst other things). Finally, I got my heart stomped on by someone and I started doing a lot of reading. I was depressed off and on for several years....but during that period...I made a few new friends. I started noticing that there were probably several guys I'd met in the past who would've been good matches for me, but I was too dumb/too busying being a **** to notice (and I also had a pattern of chasing people who were not interested....part of my commitment-phobia). Over time the depression lifted. It helped that I had supportive friends. 3 therapy sessions and a lot of reading on the subject also helped. It took me 4 years, but I found a guy I could click with. We've been together 3 years now .
You sound like the female version of me as it relates to dysfunctional relationship patterns. But it took a divorce at 40 for me to completely wake up, learn how to communicate, and become a better man. Now at 44, I think its too late. I wasted my 30's with the wrong woman and married her. Now women in thier 30's who I want to date so I can potentially still have the family, aren't interested. It sucks that it took a divorce for me to figure out where my communication issues came from. Maybe some people just aren't meant to have a family and be happy no matter how hard they try. I think I'm one of those. Anyway, I think 44 is a good time to stop dating. I'm just worn out from worrying about it.
Oh Robert, you are so wrong I can't even take the time to write a detailed response because the bolded sums it up.
This sounds kind of absolute. I know MANY people who slowed down their dating, either being single the whole time or subsequent to a divorce. There is no correct answer to this question. In fact, I didn't even give the OP an answer. I just stated an opinion and an observation.
This sounds kind of absolute. I know MANY people who slowed down their dating, either being single the whole time or subsequent to a divorce. There is no correct answer to this question. In fact, I didn't even give the OP an answer. I just stated an opinion and an observation.
I agree that everything is up to the person, as you said. But the idea of having a cut off age for dating is simply outrageous whether or not it is a personal decision.
My good friend once told me to always focus on growth, not goals. Goals can be used as stepping stones if used correctly, but can also be used as inhibitors since 99% of people don't know how to use them effectively. If you focus on growth, you're always on your A-game letting nothing stand in the way.
But then I said you can't have growth without goals, and he simply answered, "Not with a mentality like that."
That was one of the few times in my life that I felt absolutely philosophically pwned.
Yes, I've been with one this afternoon. Had a great time.
I'm not doubting that. Just sort of found your statement funny considering you hire hookers.
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