Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I could deal with the illness (you could always adopt, use a sperm donor, etc.) and I could probably deal with the awful inlaws, BUT I don't think I could deal with a guy who does whatever his momma says and doesn't defend me and make his parents treat me with respect.
Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.
Hi, all,
I am currently dating a guy with genetic health issue. The exact name is FAP familiar polyposis coli which is an inherited colan cancer. However, this diagnosis is not necessarily a death sentence. As long as the colan is removed by surgery, the patients will be expected to have full recovery. However, the side effect of this illness is horrible, patients can still die from other tumors> basically it is a chronic illness needs constant medical attention (chemotherapy and all)
I have been dating this guy for 2 years now, I think his parents are paranoid and started setting him up with family friend. Apparently, they did not trust me. Well, his first wife dumped him after discovering his illness. He also has a daughter from previous marriage who also suffers from the same illness.
The odds are against us because,
a. we are having long distance relationship. meeting him is diffcult.
b. he is currently having chemotherapy and I don't know how long this will last
c. I don't get along with his parents because I think they are paranoid (although understandable), suspicious (no reasons to), intrusive and rude (due to personality and cultural influences), have poor boundaries issues
d. There is a 50/50 chance all his future kids will have this horrible illness. I would like to have my own children someday, but the chance of my future children have the same illness is really high and the mere though really bothers me. however, if I love the guy so much, I don't completely rule out the possibility to give up being a mother altogether. but I am not so sure.
If you were in the same boat as I, what would you do? Will you consider marriage with this guy?
Realitic, constructive advices are much appreciated. Thank you all.
Would you marry him if he only made 50k a year instead of 150k, AND all these same issues were present?
I've watched the half dozen threads you've started on this topic and I have to say that it sounds like you would not be so torn over this if he was of more modest means.
Why saddle yourself with the situation with his parents, a kid you've said you feel is spoiled, AND give up your chance to have kids one day?
Sorry, I'm calling this as I see it, because his salary was one of the first things you mentioned.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
Thread closed. Duplicate. Stop creating duplicate threads. Future ones will be deleted.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
