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Prior to relocating to my area, I met a guy from the net and we dated briefly. He seemed like a perfect gentleman (always pulling out my chair, opening doors, paying for nice meals, etc.), but once he found out that I do not believe in pre-marital sex, he sent the following letter to me via email:
Quote:
"This was really, really tough for me but, after giving it a lot of thought over the weekend (to the point that it affected my sleep), I've come to the conclusion that I don't think that a long-term relationship will be feasible between us. I really admire that you have a core set of beliefs that you live by - I'm sure that is a big part on why you are such a wonderful person. Not having sex is not an issue now for me, nor would it be in the immediate future but, at some point, I would like to have an active, healthy sex life as part of a long-term relationship (for a variety of reasons, I cannot see myself getting married within the next 2 years) at this point in my life. Given this conclusion, I think it would be shortsighted of me to proceed into a relationship knowing that there would be a major issue looming.
This realization was especially tough for me because I truly do really like you (I enjoy spending time with you). You have a rare combination of intelligence, a sweet personality, and beauty. You are a genuinely nice person and I would definitely be interested in remaining friends and staying in touch, but I'm not sure about your thoughts on the situation. I'm sorry to deliver this news by email, but I felt like I needed to send this out as soon as I reached a decision. If you'd like to talk about this, we can meet in person or speak over the phone."
At least I learned early on that he wasn't Mr. Right, but this experience left me a little jaded. I want to date, without compromising my values. I'm however discovering that this is a difficult undertaking.
The last thing you want to do is stop dating. It's unfortunate that it didn't work out but better this than if you went against your principles, had sex, and then found out he didn't want you. You have to keep at it until you find the one that is fine with your decisions...it's not going to be easy to find him but you aren't looking for just anyone.
The last thing you want to do is stop dating. It's unfortunate that it didn't work out but better this than if you went against your principles, had sex, and then found out he didn't want you. You have to keep at it until you find the one that is fine with your decisions...it's not going to be easy to find him but you aren't looking for just anyone.
Exactly. I'm just amazed that so many guys expect to get sex after only 6 or so dates. What world are they living in? Call me old fashioned, but why would I get physically intimate with someone who hasn't fully committed to me through marriage.
I feel sorry for the women who fall for guys like this. They will more than likely be gone, after they get what they want.
Exactly. I'm just amazed that so many guys expect to get sex after only 6 or so dates. What world are they living in? Call me old fashioned, but why would I get physically intimate with someone who hasn't fully committed to me through marriage.
I feel sorry for the women who fall for guys like this. They will more than likely be gone, after they get what they want.
Yes, clearly you are morally superior and things seem to be working out really well for you.
It is difficult. I also am against pre marital sex. But this guy (we were official for whopping 11 days, dated 2 months) for some reason was able to make me make almost all exceptions to my rule for him.
BIG mistake!!!! I realized I can't continue sleeping with him if he can't commit to me meaning marriage in the future or live together. He does not like both. Then he also does not like I refuse to sleep with him if there is no commitment.
Surprisingly I don't regret being intimate with him. He did not force me anyway and I want it to happen.. More importantly I loved him. Just can't do it regularly without commitment.
I can say though. Maybe you just have not met the right guy yet that you would feel comfortable to be intimate with. This guy has to my surprise made me feel so comfortable with him and he made me feel loved and cared for.. Too bad we don't agree in terms of intimacy in relationships.
He sounds like a caring, well-spoken person, someone many women would like to meet. His letter impresses me.
I don't agree with your principles, but I understand sticking to them. I know some men prize virginity and chastity so it's not a detriment. You just have to fish in a smaller pond.
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