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I was wondering someone could help. I was one of those stand off'ish girls n hesitant about this guy I met in New York. We spent hours talking and getting to know each other but I forgot to ask for details. I am a single Australian female and I have been swept off my feet with my encounter with this guy. I am currently travelling through USA but I only have his first name so Facebook doesn't really work. I would love for some advice as I would live to make contact with him as I never want to wonder "What if.....?"
I was wondering someone could help. I was one of those stand off'ish girls n hesitant about this guy I met in New York. We spent hours talking and getting to know each other but I forgot to ask for details. I am a single Australian female and I have been swept off my feet with my encounter with this guy. I am currently travelling through USA but I only have his first name so Facebook doesn't really work. I would love for some advice as I would live to make contact with him as I never want to wonder "What if.....?"
A LOT of people are unsure if they like you and act exactly that way.
When you're sure, you act sure. When you're not sure, you act flakey/wishy-washy/hot-and-cold/mixed messages/confusing. They are not always aware of their own uncertainty but ALWAYS want more time to decide if they really like you or not, and often times, they think they are entitled to more time.
It's taxing to deal with someone who is unsure, especially if you're sure about them, so it's your decision on whether you can deal with this or not. Maybe you'll think it's worth it the emotional ups and downs, maybe you won't.
Wow, the dating world has certainly changed when I was 23 then..23 wasn't considered old then, I think that's just a crappy excuse. First of all, look at who you are talking about OP, you are talking about 18 yr olds that are still emotionally immature. If I would you, I would look for someone at least 21 that way they don't have a curfew, can have a job and at least go drink with you on occasion if you go and can stay out past 11 lol.
No need to go off....
Simply would like on some ideas in getting in contact with him as I live in Australia.
Sorry.....wasn't intending to hijack anything.
I was conservative and did say no (subject topic) and I regret in not getting his details.
We're to the point where we're sitting next to each other on the pew every Sunday and hugging each other like 5 times in the 2 hours before men and women separate.
...she thinks I'm too old for her(I'm 23, both girls above are 18.)
After one date, hugging 5 times in a two hour period, in what you describe as a conservative religion, is a lot.
You're moving too fast for them and they are scared because if they don't want to marry you, going on a second date to them seems like they are leading you on. Even at 18, they are really young. You are not old, but to an 18 year old, you may seem ancient. What is the average marriage age for LDS's?
Also, your personality might seem too strong to them on the first date and they may feel safer waiting or dragging it out before they say "no." I'd say date 21 to 22. Honestly, if I had a daughter who was 18 and she wanted to date a 23 year old seriously, I would caution her to slow it down. One of the girls you mentioned even stated she wanted to date more guys, right? You might have success with a 20 year old. But 18, LDS or not, eeh, really iffy.
Keep your head up! Good Luck. Love will come around.
It's hard to say no in person, especially when the question catches you off-guard, and IMO it's harder for women, who are trained never to hurt people's feelings. I don't think it's just women though, it seems pretty prevalent in the world in general (for instance, job interviewers always say "we'll be in touch" even if they already know they're not hiring you). I'm not excusing it, and I made myself answer honestly even if it was hard, but I really don't think this should be a "why do girls___" question, but something both genders do in life.
This thread probably isn't going to be anything like what you thought it was from the title, but here we go:
A few days ago, I took a girl on our first date and it went really well. Afterwards I ask about a second date and she says yes. We're to the point where we're sitting next to each other on the pew every Sunday and hugging each other like 5 times in the 2 hours before men and women separate. So I'm thinking I've got this perfect setup, and then today after church she says she doesn't want to go on a second date simply because she wants to date a lot of people.
Another time, I asked a girl and she said yes, then 2 weeks later I find out it switched to no because she thinks I'm too old for her(I'm 23, both girls above are 18.)
And then, yet another time, pretty much same thing as first paragraph, but dragged out over a month. I kept saying we should go on a second date and she kept saying things like "yeah, sometime." And then I finally find out that she's just not ready to date anyone due to her friend dying in a motorcycle crash 2 days after the first date(I knew about the death and held off for about a week.)
Why can't most women simply say no the first time I ask or the first time I mention a second date? I know they don't want to hurt my feelings but I'm a grown man and I can handle rejection. What I don't like is thinking I have a perfect setup and then finding out I don't, or being stalled out over 2 weeks or more.
It's important to note that I am LDS and as such, am referring to the LDS dating world in Utah. The main things about the LDS dating world that differ from most of the rest of the world are:
Sex is automatically assumed by both parties to not even be an option until after marriage.
Both parties are typically looking for their eternal companion and are usually more marriage focused than most people.
You're dating younger women that want to experience more then just one guy... In other words. Don't do it they're too young... Good chance if you ended up with either of them they would of mistreated you... Or cheated. Better off that you scope for older gals. Either someone your age; Or maybe a bit older,
Good question. Maybe you're too hot for their virtue? Also in the years I spent in Kennewick WA and Logan UT, I never got the idea that Mormons were particularly Saintly at practicing pre-marital celibacy.
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