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I want to make this short, as I don't probably have the whole story.
I met someone who is trying to start dating again.
She has 19 month old child. The ink just dried on the divorce papers (about 12 year marriage). She is civil with ex, even though he cheated (i'm sure it is for the baby sake)
I dont know custody situation exactly, but the baby stays with mom most of the time. Dad gets baby every couple weeks for 2 days.
Here's the rub, the dad takes the baby almost every day for a few hours almost every single morning during the week. I don't know if this is a permanent situation, but I would imagine with the father of the baby coming over every day, it might be difficult for the baby's mother to have a relationship ?
Any guy she dates will have to awkwardly see the babys father EVERY time he spends the night.
The babys father has a girlfriend already (woman he cheated with), and the babys mother never really sees her.
Is this arrangement of the father coming over every day normal? I have never heard of this, but I guess it may be more common than I realize.
Also, babys mom works 9-5ish from home, and babys dad is a cop, working 3pm-11pm hours.
The babys mom has family around for help and support, but it seems for the most part, she utilizes them rarely for babysitting.
I would like to stay away from the obvious observation that this may be messy for dating, and focus on divorced parents who have had similair arrangement and had success dating, or failed dating.
I see this having the potential of going all kinds of wrong for ME, dealing with ex who is cop, and constantly in the picture.
So far this woman seems like someone absolutely worth getting to know more. As everything about her has been honest, open, and on display.
I have never seen an arrangement where the non custody parent is around so frequently.
Every arrangement is different. I know several dads who have full custody of their child/children. Also my aunt was only allowed supervised visitation for one weekend a month with her kids.
I don't know if this arrangment is normal or strange, but I suspect this is not the real problem in your relationship.
Through my own failed past experiences, I have come up with a simple conclusion that we cannot change how others act or treat us, we can only change the ways we react to these treatments.
If you have some doubts and think the current arrangement is bothersome, bring up the issue to the person you date, you have two choices, either put up with it, or move on. There is nothing in between.
good luck to you
p.s. The single father dude I dated might be a mom's boy, one thing he was very good at is setting clear boundaries with his ex. His ex can only text him regarding their child, she cannot drop in uninvited, she cannot call him just to chitchat. I have to give him plenty of credits for doing this (clear boundaries). IN this regard, he is a very decent man.
I want to make this short, as I don't probably have the whole story.
I met someone who is trying to start dating again.
She has 19 month old child. The ink just dried on the divorce papers (about 12 year marriage). She is civil with ex, even though he cheated (i'm sure it is for the baby sake)
I dont know custody situation exactly, but the baby stays with mom most of the time. Dad gets baby every couple weeks for 2 days.
Here's the rub, the dad takes the baby almost every day for a few hours almost every single morning during the week. I don't know if this is a permanent situation, but I would imagine with the father of the baby coming over every day, it might be difficult for the baby's mother to have a relationship ?
Any guy she dates will have to awkwardly see the babys father EVERY time he spends the night.
The babys father has a girlfriend already (woman he cheated with), and the babys mother never really sees her.
Is this arrangement of the father coming over every day normal? I have never heard of this, but I guess it may be more common than I realize.
Also, babys mom works 9-5ish from home, and babys dad is a cop, working 3pm-11pm hours.
The babys mom has family around for help and support, but it seems for the most part, she utilizes them rarely for babysitting.
I would like to stay away from the obvious observation that this may be messy for dating, and focus on divorced parents who have had similair arrangement and had success dating, or failed dating.
I see this having the potential of going all kinds of wrong for ME, dealing with ex who is cop, and constantly in the picture.
So far this woman seems like someone absolutely worth getting to know more. As everything about her has been honest, open, and on display.
I have never seen an arrangement where the non custody parent is around so frequently.
I personally think it's great he's around so often but this is coming from a girl who would settle for no less than joint custody. A child needs their father in their life if he's a good one. This is exactly why I wouldn't date anyone seriously until my youngest was 18. Honestly she shouldn't be bringing dates home to spend the night unless the relationship is super serious anyway but that just my opinion.
Every arrangement is different. I know several dads who have full custody of their child/children. Also my aunt was only allowed supervised visitation for one weekend a month with her kids.
Wow. She must have screwed up pretty badly for that to have happened.
I personally think it's great he's around so often but this is coming from a girl who would settle for no less than joint custody. A child needs their father in their life if he's a good one. This is exactly why I wouldn't date anyone seriously until my youngest was 18. Honestly she shouldn't be bringing dates home to spend the night unless the relationship is super serious anyway but that just my opinion.
I agree. But it will happen at some point, with some guy. And I am sure many single moms have people spend the night. But maybe they get a sitter for overnight duty, and the mom stays at the guys place ?
Now that I think about it, moms probably go home, and spending the night isnt an option usually... (?)
I have mostly dated childless women, so this is all new to me.
If the mother is fine with him taking the child, I don't think it matters how uncomfortable it makes you feel. I'm going to guess the ex (the cop) works nights right now and it benefits both the mom and dad for him to take the child in the morning.
I would just keep my mouth shut.
If the mother is fine with him taking the child, I don't think it matters how uncomfortable it makes you feel. I'm going to guess the ex (the cop) works nights right now and it benefits both the mom and dad for him to take the child in the morning.
I would just keep my mouth shut.
wow! so you don't think op has any say so in this weird arrangement?! If op becomes the husband, the ex will just pop up everyday like that?
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