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okay, here goes, I have been dating this man for a bit over 4 years. He is a widower. His wife has been gone 7 years. His daughter was 11 when she died, she is now 18. This child has a horrible fit if he talks about dating, she actually curls into the fetal position and screams and cries. She yells at him telling him things like she wished he were the one who died. I don't know what to do anymore. I am drained. It has not gotten remotely better probably has gotten worse. He is allowing her tantrums to rule his life.....what to do?
okay, here goes, I have been dating this man for a bit over 4 years. He is a widower. His wife has been gone 7 years. His daughter was 11 when she died, she is now 18. This child has a horrible fit if he talks about dating, she actually curls into the fetal position and screams and cries. She yells at him telling him things like she wished he were the one who died. I don't know what to do anymore. I am drained. It has not gotten remotely better probably has gotten worse. He is allowing her tantrums to rule his life.....what to do?
Encourage him to schedule some family counseling for the two of them. Unless he helps his daughter heal and grow past the loss of her mother he will deal with this "little girl" the rest of his life.
You should step back and tell him to contact you once he's taken care of his daughter.
If he can't get this situation handled I would seriously reconsider having a relationship with him.
okay, here goes, I have been dating this man for a bit over 4 years. He is a widower. His wife has been gone 7 years. His daughter was 11 when she died, she is now 18. This child has a horrible fit if he talks about dating, she actually curls into the fetal position and screams and cries. She yells at him telling him things like she wished he were the one who died. I don't know what to do anymore. I am drained. It has not gotten remotely better probably has gotten worse. He is allowing her tantrums to rule his life.....what to do?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Encourage him to schedule some family counseling for the two of them. Unless he helps his daughter heal and grow past the loss of her mother he will deal with this "little girl" the rest of his life.
You should step back and tell him to contact you once he's taken care of his daughter.
If he can't get this situation handled I would seriously reconsider having a relationship with him.
LOL...Loves.... this is a joke... it isn't real......
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,149,646 times
Reputation: 3814
Quote:
Originally Posted by jody1960
okay, here goes, I have been dating this man for a bit over 4 years. He is a widower. His wife has been gone 7 years. His daughter was 11 when she died, she is now 18. This child has a horrible fit if he talks about dating, she actually curls into the fetal position and screams and cries. She yells at him telling him things like she wished he were the one who died. I don't know what to do anymore. I am drained. It has not gotten remotely better probably has gotten worse. He is allowing her tantrums to rule his life.....what to do?
She probably sees you as someone looking to replace her mother. At the very least, you are competition for her father's attention. Her reaction to you is his problem. Stay out of it. He has to establish his right to change the family dynamic. You may be his woman, but you arent in anyway a blood relative. Dont get involved in the discussion at all. She has a tantrum, sit and look bored, or go watch TV.
You are dating for 4 years, are there any set plans for commitment?
After this long one would think you would have enough sense to realize things are not going to change no matter how long you think you should stay with this man.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,149,646 times
Reputation: 3814
Meh, it should end soon. An 18 year old has things to do in life. College, dating herself (one hope's) - she will probably one day marry and what would he be left with? An empty house?
Is she basicly not going to have a life either and stay with him forever?
But that's a conversation Dad needs to have with daughter, alone and in a calm neutral atmosphere.
Shes not a girl, not yet a woman. Shes not a child and not yet an adult. If she's a normal 18 year old, it wont be long before life changes for all of them anyway.
His daughter is 18? Open the front door, and say "You are real, legal woman now. Git yo self to college!" and give her swift kick in the rear.
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