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Exactly. No one has been put in a zone, he's just not that into you.
so its ok to use the slang "he's just not that into you"..but no ok to say you have been friendzoned...um..they mean the same thing...don't get lost in the language
Women by nature will usually abuse the friend zone.
You will be stuck helping her move when she needs to move.Paying for dinner and movie when you go out.Hell i once had a friend in college baby sit for a girl while she went on a date with another guy.
Me and my friends all ended up sleeping and dating said chick while the other friend stayed in the friend zone
Nobody held a gun to to the head of any of these guys. You can't get "stuck" doing something without your consent. These guys need to take responsibility for their own decisions, and you need to stop letting them off the hook by blaming their woman friend. Anyone can ask a friend to do them a favor. It doesn't mean the friend will agree.
Well, unfortunately that is my reality and is a result of the child's father walking out on his marriage for another woman. So, his father gets to go have fun while I am now strapped with the stigma of 'another man's child' moving forward.
Men that are shallow enough to pass me by because of it I don't care to have in my life anyway. I don't have time for them.
Men that can open their minds and hearts to another man's child are the quiet heroes in this type of situation. There are those of them out there, I have witnessed their existence.
However, I am too busy being a single mom to a growing and developing child that amazes me more each day to cultivate a relationship right now. My only mission, which I am very clear and upfront about, when going out to dinner with someone is to have a social engagement with another human being that is not a family member or a child. I think a once a month outing like that is something I am entitled to, no?
Everyone is shallow on certain subjects. If I said I didn't want to date a man who had children with more than 10 women, that one man with children with more than 10 women would label me shallow and stuck-up. lol
Women by nature will usually abuse the friend zone.
You will be stuck helping her move when she needs to move.Paying for dinner and movie when you go out.Hell i once had a friend in college baby sit for a girl while she went on a date with another guy.
Me and my friends all ended up sleeping and dating said chick while the other friend stayed in the friend zone
nah im not doing it. We ARE FRIENDS, I don't pay for my guy friends hardly at all so why should I pay for her?
Women by nature will usually abuse the friend zone.
You will be stuck helping her move when she needs to move.Paying for dinner and movie when you go out.Hell i once had a friend in college baby sit for a girl while she went on a date with another guy.
Me and my friends all ended up sleeping and dating said chick while the other friend stayed in the friend zone
I never pay for my friends portion of dinner and movie. Friends pay their own way.
Nobody held a gun to to the head of any of these guys. You can't get "stuck" doing something without your consent. These guys need to take responsibility for their own decisions, and you need to stop letting them off the hook by blaming their woman friend. Anyone can ask a friend to do them a favor. It doesn't mean the friend will agree.
Thats true.....i was just raised with enough class not use people,or to do it on my own.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sound_of_Reason
nah im not doing it. We ARE FRIENDS, I don't pay for my guy friends hardly at all so why should I pay for her?
it's though cause im still a gentleman. I just make it clear,this is what's going to happen after the date.
Quote:
Originally Posted by trishguard
I never pay for my friends portion of dinner and movie. Friends pay their own way.
This is true,friends should pay there own way.Sadly so many women and men take advantage of this friendship.
so its ok to use the slang "he's just not that into you"..but no ok to say you have been friendzoned...um..they mean the same thing...don't get lost in the language
Not really. The idea of a "friend zone" is just silly. Not everyone is going to be into everyone else. If a man is romantically interested in a woman and she doesn't reciprocate his feelings she hasn't "put" him into a "zone," she just doesn't like him that way. For the man to complain about being "friendzoned" as if it's some sort of intentional persecution is dumb.
Not really. The idea of a "friend zone" is just silly. Not everyone is going to be into everyone else. If a man is romantically interested in a woman and she doesn't reciprocate his feelings she hasn't "put" him into a "zone," she just doesn't like him that way. For the man to complain about being "friendzoned" as if it's some sort of intentional persecution is dumb.
I agree this is getting lost in the language.
Many, MANY men will agree that there are girls out there that do the "I like you as a friend" bit to keep them on a hook, but the relationship never moves beyond that. The really terrible women out there exploit this. That is a friendzone, like it or not. Whether or not you think the notion is just silly doesn't mean the concept isn't out there, alive and well.
Let's not kid around, reason for relationship (at least the serious ones) in MOST parts of the world is children, in the end. In western world it seems to have sex and fun on first place, but everyone wants kids sooner or later.
Knowing that an average american-born woman bears a bit more than 1,5 children (foreign born do bear a bit over 2,3 on average), dating a woman with a child is a bad investition for anyone who wants to start a family... well unless he finds "an average of 0 or 1 child of his own with her" as a family that he seeks for. ESPECIALLY IN AMERICA, where laws are ridiculous so you can get trapped with someone else's child even if it's not your fault.
Now don't get me wrong but if a woman has a child of her own and dates a guy but doesn't give birth to a child of their own, that's pure exploiting. And someone already mentioned such example, then said how great they are... well they are, if that guy doesn't plan to have children of his own. How great for them.
And don't get me wrong now at all, but it's known that widowed mothers throughout most of the history were taken with higher stance for anyone who had a decent amount of money. Why? Because having a child meant not so much in times when women had an average of close to SIX childbirths. All that mattered was if she was "decent by her behavior" and she was having an advantage over any other women. INCLUDING YOUNGER AND VIRGINAL ONES. Quite a shocker for the unknowing, but then we go back to square one - childbearing.
Having an experience in sex was more or less irrelevant and could only be a plus, virginity was only a guarantee of decent behavior, and in times of war, pillaging etc it was often hard to find such woman anyways, especially since other party had to take the word for granted in most cases, until marriage is already sealed. What was more relevant in that times was that she can bear children and that she passed the most problematic, "first pregnancy", which makes any other much easier. There weren't "fertility treatments" and modern wonders around, and there wasn't most of the modern medicine to help with pregnancy either, even though those are expensive even today, at least they are available. For a wealthy man it was much safer to go with a 30 y/o woman who has 1-2 children already than to take a blind shot, since he'll have like another 4-6 children for sure, while there's a large possibility that he'll complicate his life with a 18 y/o woman who has significant chance of NOT bearing a child. 10% chance is still 10%.
Now if you disregard this thing, then you should know that most men avoid women over 30 y/o exactly because of birth defects and higher infertility. 1-2 years to get to know each other, then let's say a year to bear the child... if she's 32 she'll give bith with 35. Miscarriages, potential birth defects etc... even with all the wonderful technology nowdays, if it weren't for eugenics (aborting a long list of children with defects, mainly by older mothers) the impact of "first time as a 37 y/o motherhood" would be far more profound.
If you look even at world war two, you'd see a paradox confirming this rule - when most men were outnumbered by 2-1 or higher ratio in 20s and 30s, they still often took widows or women with a child. This is a long history and you can only ascribe it to different lifestyles and standards of living - less children being born in general, less fidelity even in much calmer times (e.g. considering that vast majority of population doesn't go to war and stay on the other part of the world for years warring each other), and completely laxed view on sex - as something to enjoy and share with complete stranger after third date... because you're modest and don't do it before that.
Don't take this as an insult, but I'm really shocked that shaming people is so widespread and even successful. I'd never settle for that and I'd do as the guy did at BEST. I'm really sorry that you got abandoned by your husband, but I'd keep a suspicion that it's still most probably not true either. Even if it is. And then even if it is, I'd still think of that 0 or 1 child rule. And potentially getting myself in trouble since it's not just that laws are hilariously formulated, but that so many people are ABUSING those laws for their benefits... and feel not a single shame for doing that.
This is just my opinion.
Women by nature will usually abuse the friend zone.
You will be stuck helping her move when she needs to move.Paying for dinner and movie when you go out.Hell i once had a friend in college baby sit for a girl while she went on a date with another guy.
Me and my friends all ended up sleeping and dating said chick while the other friend stayed in the friend zone
So, just because you do a favor for a friend you feel you're entitled to sex?
You're FRIENDS, and friends help each other move, they occasionally cover the tab and yes, you even babysit their kids for them. I've done all of those things for my friends both male and female and never once demanded sex in return, even if I was interested in them romantically.
Women are not machines where you drop 'nice' tokens in and get sex in return.
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