Would she lie about being pregnant? (after one night stand) (man, child support)
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Then, no texts for a week. I thought it had all blown over. Then I got a text from her three days ago saying that she missed her period, and asking if I wore a condom. I said yes, I was very careful and that if she's worried to buy a preg test. She allegedly then took two tests and texted to say they were both positive. Ahhh!!! I said it was probably someone else's since I was so careful and I assume she's been with other people since she was so quick to come to my (a stranger's) house for sex. But she says she was not with anyone else in the month--only me. I don't think I believe that. I don't trust her at all.
Okay this is weird to me. Y'all had sex three times, you said. Was she drunk? Otherwise why would she need to ask you this? How would she not know if you wore a condom or not if she was there too? Either she was under the influence of something OR having sex with numerous partners and couldn't keep it straight in her head. That'd be my thoughts on that anyway.
The only time I have ever had problems with recollection of exactly what went on during a sexual encounter was when I was drunk. Even then I remembered most of what happened and it's kind of hard to not notice when a guy stops to put a condom on.... so that's weird right there.
Otherwise, no point in panicking. Try and find out exactly what's up, if she's pregnant or not, and how far along she is if so, and if she is then there is nothing you CAN do but wait to know if it is yours. And if you do think it might be yours, any possibility, try and remain as civil as possible in the meantime.
And you are right, it is a very hard lesson to learn. You don't trust her and with good reason, she has no reason to trust you either. The shining example of why sex with strangers is a very bad idea... but I am not judging. I did it myself, back in the day, and what stopped those shenanigans for me was, you guessed it, getting pregnant!
In one year, only two of every 100 couples who use condoms consistently and correctly will experience an unintended pregnancy—two pregnancies arising from an estimated 8,300 acts of sexual intercourse, for a 0.02 percent per-condom pregnancy rate.
In one year with perfect use (meaning couples use condoms consistently and correctly at every act of sex), 98 percent of women relying on male condoms will remain pregnancy free. With typical use, 85 percent relying on male condoms will remain pregnancy free.
Okay this is weird to me. Y'all had sex three times, you said. Was she drunk? Otherwise why would she need to ask you this? How would she not know if you wore a condom or not if she was there too? Either she was under the influence of something OR having sex with numerous partners and couldn't keep it straight in her head. That'd be my thoughts on that anyway.
That's a really good point. If I was the only one she had been with and we weren't drunk (we were not), then why would she not remember something like that? She made a point of asking more than once before we met up if I was bringing condoms, so clearly it was on her mind. Pretty fishy...
I joined an online dating service out of curiosity a month ago. First time ever. Not long after I joined I was contacted by a woman suggesting we get together for a night of casual sex. I was a little apprehensive because she seemed way too comfortable with the idea of meeting a complete stranger for such a night. But I decided to go for it in the end. She came over, we spent the night together, and had sex three times, with a condom every time. After that I felt unhappy with the decision and regretted it. I decided I didn't want to do something like that again because it made me feel cheap and slutty. So when she started to text me asking when we could do it again, I told her I didn't think it was a good idea and that it would be best for us to go our separate ways. I didn't feel that I owed her anything because she contacted me in the first place and I was very clear from the start that I didn't want a relationship of any kind. But she kept texting me like every day, multiple times a day, trying to pressure me into meeting her again. I held my ground and said I didn't want to, and I was very polite about it. The texts just kept coming and eventually I got a little more stern in my response, making it very clear I don't want anything else from her. Period.
Then, no texts for a week. I thought it had all blown over. Then I got a text from her three days ago saying that she missed her period, and asking if I wore a condom. I said yes, I was very careful and that if she's worried to buy a preg test. She allegedly then took two tests and texted to say they were both positive. Ahhh!!! I said it was probably someone else's since I was so careful and I assume she's been with other people since she was so quick to come to my (a stranger's) house for sex. But she says she was not with anyone else in the month--only me. I don't think I believe that. I don't trust her at all.
My mind keeps reeling through possibilities, like maybe she was already pregnant, and looking for someone to put it on. Or maybe she's lying about being pregnant to get back at me for not wanting to continue our discrete relationship. The last thing I want is a kid with this woman because she strikes me as a little crazy and unstable. Do you think she could be lying to me? Messing with my head? Would a woman do that? I guess if she says she's pregnant and it's mine I could ask for a Dr. letter proving it and stating the predicted date of conception. She doesn't want an abortion, so if she carried it though I'd have to wait and get a paternity test.
What do you think? Would a woman be capable of lying about something like this to manipulate or torment me? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Please provide feedback, I'm a little panicked here.
Thanks so much in advance.
Aaaaaaand why you don't just sleep with just anybody: Exhibit A.
I don't care if your blind date turns out to be freaking Jennifer Anniston or some other glamorous starlet who is displayed on magazine covers monthly like some fertility goddess. Don't. Do. It. Don't be led around by your balls in life.
This is why you have a first, second, even fifth date. Because when you do the humpalumpadingdong, you don't just get to walk away from it, regardless of what the halfwitted PUA community would like you to believe. Birth control fails, condoms break, chlamydia is rampant, and mental instability can exhibit itself in a heartbeat. So now, if this woman is indeed pregnant with his kid, the OP is looking at a good 18-22 years of scribbling out child-support checks and being dragged through the family courts every time the mother of his child is in a bad mood.
And even if the kid is a product of her botched coupling with someone else, guess what? The OP will still have to go through the wringer of being tested for a DNA match and scribbling out checks to a lawyer until the matter gets cleared up. Because a determined person can make his life a living hell in the court system, whether he is the daddy or not.
That's a really good point. If I was the only one she had been with and we weren't drunk (we were not), then why would she not remember something like that? She made a point of asking more than once before we met up if I was bringing condoms, so clearly it was on her mind. Pretty fishy...
This, plus the fact that the math re: her "pregnancy" doesn't quite work out. She already knew she was pregnant just two weeks after the act? That's unusual, unless she was scheduled to get her period the week after you saw her.
What I'm wondering is if this is a scam she pulls on guys routinely. Maybe she extorts abortion money from them, or something. The idea of offering to go to the doc with her is a good one. If she comes up with reasons why that wouldn't be convenient, you're outa there. If all else fails to get rid of her, the demand for a paternity test probably would.
btw, the part about the woman contacting you first for a night of casual sex was a red flag for me. Isn't that really rare for online dating sites, unless it's Craig's List? And CL has a reputation for being used by prostitution rings. What site were you using?
Did you or she dispose the condoms? If you threw them in the garbage, was it possible for her to retrieve them? It's been known to happen, that a female wanting to get pregnant will take a condom to impregnate herself.
This, plus the fact that the math re: her "pregnancy" doesn't quite work out. She already knew she was pregnant just two weeks after the act? That's unusual, unless she was scheduled to get her period the week after you saw her.
What I'm wondering is if this is a scam she pulls on guys routinely. Maybe she extorts abortion money from them, or something. The idea of offering to go to the doc with her is a good one. If she comes up with reasons why that wouldn't be convenient, you're outa there. If all else fails to get rid of her, the demand for a paternity test probably would.
The odd thing is that she keeps telling me that she is not going to ask anything from me. She assumes full responsibility. So it doesn't sound like she's extorting abortion money. She's not demanding any involvement from me at all. But I can't shake the thought that she'll come back in nine months and say, this is your kid, not give me some child support.
Also, we were together on 1/10, and her alleged period was supposed to happen around 1/22. So when she told me this Tuesday (1/29) it would have been 19 days after we were together, which is enough time for her to get accurate results, correct?
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Either she was under the influence of something OR having sex with numerous partners and couldn't keep it straight in her head. That'd be my thoughts on that anyway. 
