Has anyone ever gotten nervous to talk to and feel stupid around the person they really really like? (dates, women)
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uggggggh, It's so annoying sometimes.
I've been seeing this guy for 5 months. We dont see eachother all that freqiently, maybe once or twice a week. I work, he works. I go to school, so does he. So we're both usually always busy.
My problem is, that when he calls I get nervous...and I dont like talking to him on the phone that much. I feel like I start to fumble my words, but the reality of it is....he doesn't have much to say, so I'm always feeling like I have to grasp at straws to keep the conversation going. He always initiates contact though. Texts me throughout the entire day, usually very benign things like "whats up?" "leaving work" "leaving class"
I get extremely nervous when we get together too, I dont know why. It's like we've been seeing eachother for over 5 months now, why am I still nervous? I dont really stay nervous, I usually am fine after 5 minutes, but every single time before we meet I get this nervousness and am afraid I dont know what Im gonna say or talk about.
I'm not usually like this with people and im begninning to think I have a problem? Like, why am I nervous? Or is it him? Is he just boring and I'm afraid that if I find him boring I wont like him anymore? I really like the guy. I like his "vibe"..... but yet I get extremely nervous to talk to him... I'm afraid of the awkward silences. I try and talk and make convo and it's just like...... nothing. so then I stop trying and im just bored and kinda sitting there.
Is it me? and why am I like this?
Is it possible to like someone so much that ur afraid they will not like u? and therefore u kinda freeze up/. . . even tho u know they do like you.
However, it's quite common.. don't be hard on yourself. I've seen some very attractive girls be nervous on dates before. I went out with a really cute black girl once, I could see she was really nervous and she even told me a few times she was nervous. Heck, she even knocked her glass over and spilled on the table. I felt kind of bad about that one so I took the blame when the waitress came around.
A good way to not be nervous, is to not let yourself be nervous. Sounds oversimplified and like I'm making it sound too easy.. but really it comes down to your mental attitude. If you believe in your head that you are good enough for anyone, and if you believe in your head that you're not nervous.. you won't be nervous.
If you're only nervous for a few minutes, it's completely normal!! I go on dates all the time and I always get a little nervous feeling in my stomach right before the date. Don't sweat it.. just keep telling yourself you're good and that you're not nervous.
After 5 months, IMO there's something off if you still feel that nervous around him. In my own life, when I felt that way around a guy, it was because I knew the guy wasn't as into me as I was, and I was nervous because I always felt like I was auditioning to be his gf, that this was my chance to impress him, etc, etc. IMO if you were really compatible with this guy and more importantly, felt secure in his feelings for you, you would not feel this uncomfortable talking to him.
Nope, I'm not nervous around anyone. They're people just like you and I, and trust me, they all are plagued with the same insecurities and problems. Just be yourself and relax.
In the very beginning - yes. But not usually after 5 months. I'd say I sometimes felt that way on the first few dates or so.
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