What would you do/boundaries with exes! (dating, wife, boyfriends)
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I just broke up with my girlfriend. She lied to me about 2 male friends that she did have sexual relationships with before me. Th major problem, one is a married friend. She said this was not my business as it was before me. I snooped to get the truth as her story didnt match up.
I argued that because he was still in her life, I deserved the truth. What happens if this guys wife finds out and I get the surprise down the road? My ex was bothered by her affair and had shame, but I found her attitude to be selfish.
On top if this, she was in contact with ex-boyfriends who would still flirt with her. I felt it was disrespectful to me.
How do you handle ex's and what are your rules/boundaries with your partner's exes? Is it ok if your partner hangs out alone with their ex? Also, what if your partner lied about their past with an opposite sex friend?
This is all kind of moot since you broke up with the girl. For the record though, I think you did the right thing. This girl sounds like more trouble than she's worth.
On top if this, she was in contact with ex-boyfriends who would still flirt with her. I felt it was disrespectful to me.
Not her fault how other people act
Quote:
I just broke up with my girlfriend. She lied to me about 2 male friends that she did have sexual relationships with before me. Th major problem, one is a married friend. She said this was not my business as it was before me. I snooped to get the truth as her story didnt match up.
I argued that because he was still in her life, I deserved the truth. What happens if this guys wife finds out and I get the surprise down the road? My ex was bothered by her affair and had shame, but I found her attitude to be selfish.
How do you handle ex's and what are your rules/boundaries with your partner's exes? Is it ok if your partner hangs out alone with their ex? Also, what if your partner lied about their past with an opposite sex friend?
The lying is the problem. Not the past relationships.
I'd be much more concerned about dating someone who had terrible relationships with all their exes than I would about dating someone who had good relationships with their exes
Friends with ex's can be messy. For this reason, some people don't like it when their current s/o remains friends with ex's. Sounds like in the OP's situation, his s/o being friends with ex's is a bad thing. Some people handle it responsibly.
There are so many threads on this concept. It would make sense to do a search in this forum on this topic.
I honestly wouldn't care that much, as long as they were platonic. I'd be a little careful at first though, because I'd still sleep with any of my exes, so I assume similar with other people until I see differently.
I just broke up with my girlfriend. She lied to me about 2 male friends that she did have sexual relationships with before me. Th major problem, one is a married friend. She said this was not my business as it was before me. I snooped to get the truth as her story didnt match up.
I argued that because he was still in her life, I deserved the truth. What happens if this guys wife finds out and I get the surprise down the road? My ex was bothered by her affair and had shame, but I found her attitude to be selfish.
On top if this, she was in contact with ex-boyfriends who would still flirt with her. I felt it was disrespectful to me.
How do you handle ex's and what are your rules/boundaries with your partner's exes? Is it ok if your partner hangs out alone with their ex? Also, what if your partner lied about their past with an opposite sex friend?
I think she has a point, anything/anyone before you really is none of your business. I can understand her not wanting to admit to an affair, and I can also understand not wanting to share sexual details of the past w/ a current partner. I don't know that I would personally go so far as to lie about it though...
What happened, you go through her email or something?
I met her one "friend" who is married. He would text late at night which is odd for a married man. She would mention him a little too much. I've never been a jealous person, but know how guys operate.
I had asked about this guy and the answers didnt add up. One night he texted her while she was asleep, I read it. I didn't have to look far to find sexting right before me. I told her what I did and asked for the truth. She said they just texted and there was no affair. I left it at that and accepted her answers.
Months go by and this guy still bothers me. Her best girl friend slips and tells me it was just a physical relationship, not love. She thought I knew the full truth. We hung out with this scumbag and his wife. I didn't want to smile while holding hands with an adulterer in front of the unknowing wife.
I said if this guy was in your past, it's not my business. Since I was brought into their dynamic, I deserve to be let in to the truth if there is nothing there. Am I supposed to get a surpise one day when his wife finds out?
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