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You are dead wrong about this one. Jokes aside, I take the family bond seriously and would NEVER stand for my wife doing this either with another woman and especially not with another man. If she wants to do this, then it's off to the divorce lawyer.
That's exactly what I said - for most men - so where am I wrong? Example, if your wife floated the idea you wouldn't need to think for days and consult forumes to know how you feel about that.
That's exactly what I said - for most men - so where am I wrong? Example, if your wife floated the idea you wouldn't need to think for days and consult forumes to know how you feel about that.
I gotcha. I read it wrong in that you were saying that all men would secretly want this to happen. You're only speculating that the OP might secretly not mind because he didn't issue an ultimatum.
If that was the gist of your comment, I still don't agree. Who knows how to handle something like this? It's not like you're presented with these situations every day. It's kind of like the Paterno/Penn State situation where everybody is looking for a scapegoat, when in reality most people would have choked just like all the important players in the chain of command there did.
Jokes aside, I take the family bond seriously and would NEVER stand for my wife doing this either with another woman and especially not with another man. If she wants to do this, then it's off to the divorce lawyer.
What this guy said. Breaking the family bond is absolutely unforgivable.
I gotcha. I read it wrong in that you were saying that all men would secretly want this to happen. You're only speculating that the OP might secretly not mind because he didn't issue an ultimatum.
If that was the gist of your comment, I still don't agree. Who knows how to handle something like this? It's not like you're presented with these situations every day. It's kind of like the Paterno/Penn State situation where everybody is looking for a scapegoat, when in reality most people would have choked just like all the important players in the chain of command there did.
I'm not basing on his lack of forceful response at the time but after days of thinking on it and chatting on forums about it he still isn't sure how he feels. Obviously it doesn't disgust him and anger him.
My take on these things is that even if you'd never pursue them, it should be okay to raise the questions and discuss them with your SO. How else can you discover your common ground and boundaries? Getting upset over a question - or even a fantasy - is not very productive, IMO.
I think the OP is imagining that the husband will just want to sit back and watch the hot lesbian action, LOL. Sorry, dude, when that guy gets a new woman in his bed he will be shoving the old lady aside and going for every possible penetration on the newcomer. It's going to be really nasty.
I think the OP is imagining that the husband will just want to sit back and watch the hot lesbian action, LOL. Sorry, dude, when that guy gets a new woman in his bed he will be shoving the old lady aside and going for every possible penetration on the newcomer. It's going to be really nasty.
I never understood the psychology behind this. Why would anybody find this to be a turn on not to mention it's nasty to get the sloppy seconds? It sounds like a male is allowing himself to be emasculated, handing over his wife to someone else.
Something else I read once seemed to hint that some men consider this like "ownership" and by letting someone else do their wife, the turn on is that the wife was like an object he was allowing another man to use. In effect the husband sitting back and watching some other guy doing her was like a power trip for the husband as if he actually owned her, and wasn't much different from being his wife's pimp?
I never understood the psychology behind this. Why would anybody find this to be a turn on not to mention it's nasty to get the sloppy seconds? It sounds like a male is allowing himself to be emasculated, handing over his wife to someone else.
Something else I read once seemed to hint that some men consider this like "ownership" and by letting someone else do their wife, the turn on is that the wife was like an object he was allowing another man to use. In effect the husband sitting back and watching some other guy doing her was like a power trip for the husband as if he actually owned her, and wasn't much different from being his wife's pimp?
Real life is just too funny sometimes.
That theory actually makes a lot of sense, in a sick sort of way. Bleck.
For most people, your wife just introduced the first step toward a divorce. Do you really want other people with your wife while you sit at home being used like a doormat. That's up to you, but at this point you need an honest conversation. Either she wants to stay married, or she wants to " date around." Until you get this resolved, do not even consider children. You'll be out big time child support and your kids will be raised by?
These are dangerous waters that can lead, in my experience, to painful and sometimes unexpected jealousy and resentment on one or both your parts. (I also hear that it can lead to some good things, but that conflicts with my experience and those of others I know who have tried it).
I also think you need to take a stand on this, one way or the other.
But I want to warn you, there's no turning back once it happens...for better or worse.
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