Women - how often do you think about sex? (looking, honest, rich)
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shes prude. i think about sex everyday ....nothing wrong with that
I think some women don't think about sex as often. Doesn't mean she is a prude.
In my 20's I was in a long relationship with a women who didn't think about sex much. I don't think she instigated sex more than a dozen times in 7 years. Those 12 or so times were some of the most memorable though.
That didn't mean we weren't intimate though. But to be honest, her rarely showing me she wanted/needed me intimately very often took a huge tole on the relationship.
In relationships since, I have been with women who at least occasionally expressed a desire for intimacy without me HAVING to engage it/ seduce.
Everyone is a bit different. And of course, previous sexual relations help form patterns and behaviors.
Sometimes contrived prudes are actually just very insecure, or have other things going on that may make them seem prude, when they actually need the right person to come along and push their buttons.
I think some women don't think about sex as often. Doesn't mean she is a prude.
In my 20's I was in a long relationship with a women who didn't think about sex much. I don't think she instigated sex more than a dozen times in 7 years. Those 12 or so times were some of the most memorable though.
That didn't mean we weren't intimate though. But to be honest, her rarely showing me she wanted/needed me intimately very often took a huge tole on the relationship.
Yes, true it will make the man feel unwanted after a while which is why a woman should at the very least often tell her man that he is sexy, handsome, desirable, etc. If a woman turned it around would she feel loved or desirable if the man never gave physical/ or sexually related compliments to her? Absolutely NOT. To me and many other women, and men, this is a no brainer however due to how some people, men and women both, were raised, if they didn't hear their parents exchanging this type of mating ritual they don't understand it is needed.
My husband was one of those people. His father was never physically or verbally affectionate with his wife, hence the reason for my husband's first marriage ending. He had to learn to do it from then on. He is good at verbal affection now. If he can't think of anything to say, he'll at least whistle. He's still awkward at physical affection because it doesn't come "naturally" to him but he tries, but I am still the the one who will be the first to try to hold hands. He knows he better not ignore me too, because if he does I'm going start seductively patting his bottom in public and that embarrasses him. Either he holds my hand or I'm going to grab his butt or his front - in front of God and everybody else.
Last edited by GINGERSNAP1963; 02-26-2013 at 02:35 PM..
I'm in my mid 60's and way past childbearing age. I still have a high sex drive. Sex is a glue that can really bond you and your mate. It is good for your health as well as your marriage.
My friend is not a prude, she is a night shift RN who sometimes does back to back shifts and works 16 hours without a break.
She also doesn't eat properly which I think is half her problem. She had anaemia not long ago.
She has also been a single mum for years and her oldest son is unwell and she's still supporting him, he has never left home and is in his 20s.
Add it all in to a violent and schizophrenic ex husband, a handful of disappointing boyfriends since, and there you have it. One dead sex drive.
Oh and let me not forget the last guy she dated who turned up on her doorstep and called her a "frumpy old c***" when she said she just wanted to be friends - a supposedly "nice guy" in his 40s.
Strangely my sex drive seems to have thrived despite the same amount of disappointing relationships and stressful events. Even now I have a lover who lived with me for less than 2 weeks before I kicked him out due to his personality. In bed, he's great. Out of it - please, just stop talking
Us older women don't seem to want the "relationship" like the young ones do. We just want the booty. NSA all the way!!!
I'm not asking for prurient reasons, I'm asking because I'm a female and just had this conversation with my BFF.
She was stunned to learn I think about sex every day, at least once, often more.
She NEVER thinks about it.
So who's the unusual one?
I would say you are "normal"-for you, and she is "normal"-for her.
Your respective answers may change over time, across the lifespan-this is just a moment in time, where you each "are at", so to speak.
5 yrs. ago or 5 yrs. from now, you & she may have different answers to that query.
Normal is not a "one-size-fits-all" value/quantity for each & every individual (nor is it necessarily unchanging, throughout one's life).
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
I couldn't tell you. I don't make a mental tick mark every time I think about it. I'm sure it varies each day, and I imagine that there are some days where I never think about it...days where I am so busy and consumed with other things that there is no time to think about anything else. But generally, I would guess that it comes to mind at least once a day and probably much often than that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
I don't keep a chart of this or anything so it's kind of a hard question to answer but it feels like often. I once heard the sex drive described as "An intolerable neural itch" and I think that perfectly sums it up. I don't know how often I think about it but it seems like it's always there.
My answer to "how often do I think about it" would be along the lines of these^ 2 comments quoted above.
I don't keep track of when sex is part of the mix of my ever-shifting/rotating mental content.
Merely the act of asking myself "am I thinking about sex right now ?" would change the outcome-
thank you, "Observer Effect"-
there's no way to measure it, without the taking of measurements itself inherently skewing the data.
Also, my brain may register the passing notion of sex, but that's not (necessarily) identical to a desire to be engaging in that activity right this second.
I think about washing the dishes several times before I actually get around to doing them-
considering the idea is not the same as an immediate overpowering hunger to do the behavior (though, of course, for some people it is).
In addition, some folks may have painful memories that inhibit such thoughts, so when the idea comes to mind, they then turn away from it & try to think about anything else instead.
Some folks may have had bad experiences, which cause them to reject the whole enterprise, preventing possibility for having a better experience with it.
Some folks are hurt from being lonely, and may prefer to shut out such ideas bc. they don't want to be aware/conscious of an unmet want/need for physical contact-so it's not that they're opposed to it on principle or from trauma, but instead that it's an area of life that isn't currently happening, and it can be too depressing to keep noticing that, so they put themselves in a conceptual "deep-freeze" of sorts with regard to the prospect of sex, in hopes of numbing out the pain of isolation.
I'll leave it at that, suffice it to say it's a complex topic with myriad perspectives, not just one simple/single "correct" answer.
My friend is not a prude, she is a night shift RN who sometimes does back to back shifts and works 16 hours without a break.
She also doesn't eat properly which I think is half her problem. She had anaemia not long ago.
She has also been a single mum for years and her oldest son is unwell and she's still supporting him, he has never left home and is in his 20s.
Add it all in to a violent and schizophrenic ex husband, a handful of disappointing boyfriends since, and there you have it. One dead sex drive.
Oh and let me not forget the last guy she dated who turned up on her doorstep and called her a "frumpy old c***" when she said she just wanted to be friends - a supposedly "nice guy" in his 40s.
Strangely my sex drive seems to have thrived despite the same amount of disappointing relationships and stressful events. Even now I have a lover who lived with me for less than 2 weeks before I kicked him out due to his personality. In bed, he's great. Out of it - please, just stop talking
Us older women don't seem to want the "relationship" like the young ones do. We just want the booty. NSA all the way!!!
I'm so sorry about you and your friend Diamonds&Perals. I'll be thinking about you and praying for you both. You both deserve someone very sweet to come along and sweep you off your feet. My heart goes out to you both.
Sex is definitely out of my sphere of concern. I never think about it except when I am listening to Dr. Laura on the radio and she keeps telling me how great it is. I'm still not convinced.
It is a hormone driven desire for reproduction. It is base. I realize I am a woman, and men are programmed differently, but after the reproductive years, for a woman, there is no reason for it. I get much more emotional enjoyment from spending quality time with my husband, talking or just "hanging out" in a relaxed, peaceful environment. To me your BFF sounds totally normal.
20yrsinBranson
I'm glad I don't know you, and BOY, AM I THANKFULI'M NOT YOUR HUSBAND.
Now, as to the "no reason for it"... Look up prevention under "vaginal atrophy". If you're not there yet, you certainly will get there to one degree or another. My ex-wife found about that, too. And, because she was my "ex", and remarried, I didn't get her bills. Hers was one of the worse cases, and the cost is well over a thousand dollars a month.
Sex is definitely out of my sphere of concern. I never think about it except when I am listening to Dr. Laura on the radio and she keeps telling me how great it is. I'm still not convinced.
It is a hormone driven desire for reproduction. It is base. I realize I am a woman, and men are programmed differently, but after the reproductive years, for a woman, there is no reason for it. I get much more emotional enjoyment from spending quality time with my husband, talking or just "hanging out" in a relaxed, peaceful environment. To me your BFF sounds totally normal.
20yrsinBranson
Women certainly have different needs in this area. I am just over 40 and think sex is great, just like Dr. Laura. But I have a high drive and thought sex was great since my first experiences. I would think, that after my reproductive years, I would still highly enjoy sex with my hubby and the physical/emotional connection that goes with it. For me, this is far superior than just "hanging out" but I do realize every one has different needs. I would have a serious problem in my relationship if we were not having frequent, enjoyable sex though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by funisart
I'm in my mid 60's and way past childbearing age. I still have a high sex drive. Sex is a glue that can really bond you and your mate. It is good for your health as well as your marriage.
You go girl!! This is exactly how I hope to be in my 60's! Even if it takes my mate taking Viagara to achieve it. LOL.
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He's still awkward at physical affection because it doesn't come "naturally" to him but he tries, but I am still the the one who will be the first to try to hold hands. He knows he better not ignore me too, because if he does I'm going start seductively patting his bottom in public and that embarrasses him. 
