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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,047,835 times
Reputation: 11862
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Back in the days of chat rooms and more recent one on one chat clients like omegle, I used to sometimes pretend to be a female as a psychological 'experiment' if you like. After being constantly hit on by men, often in such crass, lewd, unoriginal ways, I began to get really sick of the attention and began to get a bit 'bitchy' with them. Although none of this was new to me it made me really see things from a female perspective. I also admit (I'm not proud to admit it, but trust me it was out of genuinely curiosity) a fake dating profile of an attractive woman and now I better understand why I rarely get replies to messages I send out.
And of course, the same was also happening in real life, in the dating scene...
Perhaps men need to be more selective with who they hit up? Even, dare I say, raise their standards? Also net dating has made it seem too easy to 'contact' women, when in the end it's probably no easier or even harder than real life dating. I mean I'm glad it's there, but it takes more work/time to get a date via online dating but just a lot less courage. If you do wanna do online, I recommend you do it the 'right' way, for yourself and your fellow bros. The more men sending 100 messages, the harder it is for all of us. Especially if they're poorly written. 10 well written messages are far more worthwhile than basically spamming dating profiles.
It sounds impossible, and contrary to human nature (after all, we get what we can get, right?). But at the very least, can't they come up with more intelligent, charming ways to get a lady's attention instead of being like desperate dogs? I don't mean to put down all or most men, but the way they behave sometimes makes me ashamed to be male.
There are too many clueless men whinging about having no success in the dating world. Given how they approach women in general, it's not hard to see why.
Yeah it sucks either way, women are harassed and men are ignored! Online dating oddly enough is harder than dating in real life. I have a friend who's been on POF for half a decade and not ONE date.
Back in the days of chat rooms and more recent one on one chat clients like omegle, I used to sometimes pretend to be a female as a psychological 'experiment' if you like. After being constantly hit on by men, often in such crass, lewd, unoriginal ways, I began to get really sick of the attention and began to get a bit 'bitchy' with them. Although none of this was new to me it made me really see things from a female perspective. I also admit (I'm not proud to admit it, but trust me it was out of genuinely curiosity) a fake dating profile of an attractive woman and now I better understand why I rarely get replies to messages I send out.
And of course, the same was also happening in real life, in the dating scene...
Perhaps men need to be more selective with who they hit up? Even, dare I say, raise their standards? Also net dating has made it seem too easy to 'contact' women, when in the end it's probably no easier or even harder than real life dating. I mean I'm glad it's there, but it takes more work/time to get a date via online dating but just a lot less courage. If you do wanna do online, I recommend you do it the 'right' way, for yourself and your fellow bros. The more men sending 100 messages, the harder it is for all of us. Especially if they're poorly written. 10 well written messages are far more worthwhile than basically spamming dating profiles.
It sounds impossible, and contrary to human nature (after all, we get what we can get, right?). But at the very least, can't they come up with more intelligent, charming ways to get a lady's attention instead of being like desperate dogs? I don't mean to put down all or most men, but the way they behave sometimes makes me ashamed to be male.
There are too many clueless men whinging about having no success in the dating world. Given how they approach women in general, it's not hard to see why.
I've done the fake female profiles too. Same results as yours. I also put up profiles consisting of a handsome male face with a one sentence generic message and views/messages/even flirts were off the board, proving to me that a handsome STUPID male can also understand the way women feel on line and in fact you get to understand that its not YOU they are responding to, its just 'your" handsome/pretty/plain but sexy face and that can get discouraging too just like looks rejection gets discouraging.
And we have to learn to be attracted to inner qualities and only inner qualities.
Men have to stop chasing women or is it that women have to learn to be less picky AND THEN men will become far less deviant, far less sexually offensive, far less chasing women because men will be far less desperate. I always say that the less we chase, the more women will chase us and you can reverse that.
Don't encourage women by chasing them because chasing women swells their egos, makes them think they are beautiful even if they are 1's or 2's, deludes them into thinking Mr Handsome is coming so they can reject their 1 or 2 male peers and even if you are a hot number with the girls now, you will get old and you may need an anybody female but just when you most need a mate, you might find that all of the old ladies think they are too beautiful to reply to you.
Yeah it sucks either way, women are harassed and men are ignored! Online dating oddly enough is harder than dating in real life. I have a friend who's been on POF for half a decade and not ONE date.
See a connection between men being ignored and women being harassed?
POF is the armpit of the singles world. Your friend can do better than that sewer.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,047,835 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by garonick
I've done the fake female profiles too. Same results as yours. I also put up profiles consisting of a handsome male face with a one sentence generic message and views/messages/even flirts were off the board, proving to me that a handsome STUPID male can also understand the way women feel on line and in fact you get to understand that its not YOU they are responding to, its just 'your" handsome/pretty/plain but sexy face and that can get discouraging too just like looks rejection gets discouraging.
And we have to learn to be attracted to inner qualities and only inner qualities.
Men have to stop chasing women or is it that women have to learn to be less picky AND THEN men will become far less deviant, far less sexually offensive, far less chasing women because men will be far less desperate. I always say that the less we chase, the more women will chase us and you can reverse that.
Don't encourage women by chasing them because chasing women swells their egos, makes them think they are beautiful even if they are 1's or 2's, deludes them into thinking Mr Handsome is coming so they can reject their 1 or 2 male peers and even if you are a hot number with the girls now, you will get old and you may need an anybody female but just when you most need a mate, you might find that all of the old ladies think they are too beautiful to reply to you.
I also did a fake profile of a generic good looking man. I had more success than my usual profile, but still not as much as the attractive woman. As myself I'd rarely even get any messages, as the good looking man maybe a couple a week, as the attractive lady, at least a few every day.
Yes, male attraction IS shallow for the most part, but chasing any tail isn't making it easier for them. They/we need to think more strategically. It's a numbers game. The more men chase more women, the more women think they have more options and the pickier they'll be. They've always had options, but the fact that fewer people 'couple up' means the dating world is more of a 'free for all' than in years past. in some ways, the early to mid 20th century was easier as most people just paired up and married and that was it.
I think this also makes women value men less, too. Back in the day, men were gentlemen who offered a lady a lot of things and women were very proud to have a well-rounded gentlemen. Now a lot of women see a vast sea of desperate losers with a few eligible men. Women lose because they feel harassed and annoyed, sometimes even by decent blokes who are just desperate, but they are programmed to be turned off by desperation so it's a vicious cycle.
In my humble opinion, if people got off the online dating sites and learned to function socially in the real world the number of the inept and the crass would decrease enormously.
Doing the chat version of Omegle (not the video one) while pretending to be a girl gives you a lot of insight as to why men fail at picking up chicks. Nearly all of them think you're a girl and then they start saying how crappy their life is, blah blah blah. I'm like dude if I was a hot chick who wasn't a hoe, I wouldn't even give you the time of day either.
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