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I am a woman (52). At this point in my life, I can understand both sides of the coin.
I just recently had a breakup. Breakups are difficult no matter what age a person is. They are more difficult when you thoutht you would spend the rest of your life with your SO. I can so relate to loving that person and wanting to marry them only to have it end. *hugs*
Because of that happening, I've had to re-think my life (what's left of it ). I have had some tough events and know that I can take care of myself. I would not be dissatisfied with living alone. I would rely on myself and be content. Afterall, there is no else to think about when adjusting the thermostat, making dinner, painting the walls, etc. There is no one there that will hurt you.
But, I would rather be married because I like having someone else there to think about. I like having someone to snuggle to while watching a movie. I enjoy waking up in the morning, throwing my arm around someone and talking about the plans for the day, rather than getting up right away to make a cup of tea. I like being out, seeing something that my man would like, and picking it up for him. I like having a man to think about when I hear a song on the radio.
As far as dating goes, I doubt that I even know how to do that. I certainly would never go to a bar. And I can't picture myself going anywhere for the sole purpose of finding a man. If I were to meet one by happenstance, that's different in my mind.
I'm a 54-year-old widow of 16 months. The times I've browsed a few online dating sites, I've seen that most men my age say they are interested in women who are at least 10-15 years younger than they are, sometimes along with a long list of other qualities that few women in their 50s can attain.
That does tend to quash any interest I might have in dating sometime in the future.
Now, my sister, who is older, is not at all surprised. She has female friends in their late 50's and 60's who have no interest in men or dating. They are financially well off and don't need a man for support. Is this common?
I've seen that some older women, especially if they've been married before, don't want to get tied down again with another relationship. They're in the age range that they may have spent many years raising children and taking care of a home, and they don't want to be slotted into that role again.
I can't speak for other women, but I would think others feel similar feelings. Now that I am in my 50s, I feel that I can't (not am I interested in) competing with younger women. As a previous poster wrote, many men want younger women. Along with knowing our age is against us, our bodies are changing. Women my age start facing issues like arthritis, graying hair, difficulty losing weight or keeping it off, etc. when I have aches and pains I certainly don't feel like a "pretty young thing".
If older men are looking for younger women, they will likely find that younger people don't understand how being physically older affects life.
When women are younger they are more in need. They want a father for their children and more financial security. They want someone to help them to buy a house. Older women are past childbearing age and generally are financially secure. There is also the matter of assets. What will become of her house? How does she ensure her grown children will inherit? There aren't as many benefits to marriage for older women. I am grappling with this right now. Some of my friends have sworn off men completely.
I've seen that some older women, especially if they've been married before, don't want to get tied down again with another relationship. They're in the age range that they may have spent many years raising children and taking care of a home, and they don't want to be slotted into that role again.
My neighbour is 59 and what she's encountered in her online dating ventures is a lot of men her age, or a few years older, looking for a woman less for companionship and more for cooking, cleaning, laundry. She's not looking to be someone's maid.
I'm a man in my late 50s, divorced for five years, and have had two relationships since divorcing: one with a younger woman and another with a woman my age. The relationship with the younger woman was boring because we had little in common. The relationship with the woman my age was fantastic and I thought it would last forever ... until it ended. I wanted to get married to her. She ended it because she thought I want a younger woman; she felt uncomfortable when I even mentioned other woman who I worked with. It's perplexing and there is no way I can talk her into reconciliation. Believe me she expressed loving sentiment all the way to the end but decided she just wanted to be alone.
She expects to date again someday but I think she'll find plenty of turkeys. She doesn't have another man now either.
Now, my sister, who is older, is not at all surprised. She has female friends in their late 50's and 60's who have no interest in men or dating. They are financially well off and don't need a man for support. Is this common?
Very. Only you have it a bit backwards. It's not that they don't need a man for support. It's that they don't want to take care of one. They've raised their kids and now just want to be content with not cooking big meals (or, like my sister, not cooking at all), not picking up after someone else, and not worrying about someone else's schedule or needs. I think that's a big driver behind "grey" divorce, actually, especially if they married and had kids young. After putting their families first for so many years, they want time for themselves.
As for those who do want relationships, a lot of them don't want cohabitation or marriage. They want their own space, for the same reasons.
Bf's mother was back out on the market after her ex husband had an affair and they divorced. She will be getting remarried this summer at the ripe old age of 62. I think she is of the mindset that a women always needs to be with a man though.
My neighbour is 59 and what she's encountered in her online dating ventures is a lot of men her age, or a few years older, looking for a woman less for companionship and more for cooking, cleaning, laundry. She's not looking to be someone's maid.
I always wondered about that. A man who has been married for numerous years and used to his wife cooking and cleaning probably want someone who will do this.
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). I have had some tough events and know that I can take care of myself. I would not be dissatisfied with living alone. I would rely on myself and be content. Afterall, there is no else to think about when adjusting the thermostat, making dinner, painting the walls, etc. There is no one there that will hurt you.
I certainly would never go to a bar. And I can't picture myself going anywhere for the sole purpose of finding a man. If I were to meet one by happenstance, that's different in my mind.
