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Since several here are shy guys with little to no dating experience I am wondering how you tell a woman you are interested or do you? Do like to get to know her or just stare at her? Are you one of those guys who spends months or even YEARS getting up the nerve to approach a woman you like because you are afraid? Do you like women to approach you? are you so afraid that you have even rejected women you like because you are afraid?
I am curious because I think if more shy guys gave signs they were interested this would inspire women to approach them or give them the guts to do so.
The way I was able to successfully deal with and manage severe romantic shyness for me in my own case was by improving my skill at verbal, spoken, and written communication (as I have always been hopelessly terrible about reading and communicating through body language)
ETA: also, actually having positive romantic interactions and experiences with women (as opposed to unsuccessful ones) helped quite a bit as well, in terms of successfully dealing with previous extreme romantic shyness.
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 03-10-2013 at 11:10 PM..
Reason: Clarified language
there's a theory that the glances of men and women at each other is an autonomic nervous response (involuntary). It's like certain facial and physical features are hard wired (like a baby's reaction to mom and dad's faces) into our minds as pre-set attraction/compatibility triggers. In the right setting, such as a bar, club, resturant, really any social place where casual encounters occur, those glances are considered indicators of interest.
I've known some guys that will approach any woman who glances at them and they seem to have a good level of success in at least breaking into a conversation. Try responding with a smile and if the guy blushes or smiles back, that's your sign!
I should mention this isn't about me but just in general. I know several shy guys (many relatives)and they are so afraid of contacting women they like.
I've only ever been able to tell a women or girl how I felt about them electronically (telephone or on a computer). The idea of doing it face to face felt unnerving. Needless to say, nothing positive came from telling them that way.
I have to start by saying that I was a very shy kid too.
This is not a nice thing to say, but I will say it anyway -
Shy people are only interested in themselves. Everything is how THEY feel. What THEY are thinking. How it affects THEM.
Confidence comes by stepping outside the comfort zone and getting embarrassed, rejected, and living with these emotions. This is what everyone else does - if only the shy people (like I was) would realise it. Other people are nervous, other people dont want rejection or to be embarrassed either.
So saving face in relationship issues is very important and not being rejected or embarrassed is absolutely essential in many situations. If you can find a way to be genuinely interested in other people and how they feel, you will probably be able to help them feel more comfortable and at the same time help yourself too.
One such way to save face would be to phrase things so that neither person has to reject or be rejected. Similar to "If someone was to ask you out where would you like to go ?" Asking open questions (look it up) also means that there has to be more conversation - not just a yes/no answer. Finding out about the other person will show what things you have in common to talk about and the shyness will turn into genuine interest in them. Sometimes talking about yourself will also give them something to talk about and may show similar interests. etc etc
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