How do I ask my subordinate co-worker out? (dating, woman, single)
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We are complete opposites. On the job, I am an attractive, demanding woman who is cocky and obnoxious (I know it and can admit it!) Right now, that's all he's seen. Off the job, whatever man I'm dating is in control (or at least he shoud/better be.) The guy at my job is a different race than I am, he's sooo cute, nice, polite, and sweet, he might even be gay - he's set off my gaydar just a little bit. I hope I am wrong...maybe I'm already making up excuses in my mind about why he doesn't like me. I don't know. Anyway, there are two things that really scare me about asking him out: 1) what if he is gay, how do I face him in the future if I do in fact ask him out?; 2) what if he really doesn't like me at all, how do I ask him out without embarrassing myself? I've been divorced for 10 years and it's ben seven since I've asked a guy out. What do I say...how do I do it? Any helpful advice would be greatly appreciated.
BTW, he's a computer guy and I am having computer problems at home...maybe I could use something along those lines. What do you think?
I think that dating a co-worker falls under the "don't sh*t where you sleep" rule.
What happens if this guy turns out to be a jerk? Could you still handle working with him in a professional manner?
This pretty much says it all...and the complication of his being your subordinate is just too risky. Especially since you describe yourself as a "demanding woman who is cocky and obnoxious"...sounds like potential fireworks to me--and I don't mean the pretty kind!
We are complete opposites. On the job, I am an attractive, demanding woman who is cocky and obnoxious (I know it and can admit it!)
why do you feel as if you have to be cocky and obnoxious on the job...I am a woman to, and at one time worked construction...as the job manager....you get more out of people by being nice...matter of fact, I had worked construction for 9 years..and has gained not only support from the men but also respect...never did I have to raise my voice...I treated them as team members..asking them, "What do you think?" To get them to think, and also contribute their ideas to the project.
Now I am working in the corporate world, as office manager...and cannot stand to work aside of anyone who is cocky and demanding...if you treat your employees like theives, they will steal from you...if you treat them with respect, they will make you look good. Remember, your only as good as they are.
Another thing, I wouldn't want to date anyone who presents themselves in that manner...I would certainly fear, you would be like that on the home front or even worse. You have to understand the impression your translating to everyone...and in my book, it isn't so nice. And most men would not care how attractive you are, they wouldn't want to deal with you on a personal level because of the voice your projecting, not to mention, there are an awful lot of people who will not date anyone from work, b/c if the relationship goes south, it could become awfully ugly...they might fear you would single them out, and even be nastier to them, forcing them to quit their job.
Think about it.
Just my 2 cents....
Creme
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