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I've seen a trend recently where men in low paying jobs are called deadbeats or losers as if his only worth is tied into having a nice job. Why should a man be automatically presumed a loser if he is making $40K/year? Why is there a double standard where a woman will never be called a loser for being underemployed?
I dunno, OP.
Any man who is gainfully employed and responsible is OK in my book.
Then again? Not a gold digger.
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40K isn't so bad. Maybe it's bad if you live in DC or San Francisco, but in most places you can have a nice life on that. To me a guy is only a loser if he can't support himself. I don't want to date someone living in his mom's basement working part time at a video game store. I want someone who is at least ambitious enough to take care of himself and his expenses. On the flip side of the coin, a lot of guys making a lot of money make so much because they work so much and often have to travel. I look for a guy with a good work/life balance. I want a guy to be at least as successful as I am (which isn't that hard).
40K isn't so bad. Maybe it's bad if you live in DC or San Francisco, but in most places you can have a nice life on that. To me a guy is only a loser if he can't support himself. I don't want to date someone living in his mom's basement working part time at a video game store. I want someone who is at least ambitious enough to take care of himself and his expenses. On the flip side of the coin, a lot of guys making a lot of money make so much because they work so much and often have to travel. I look for a guy with a good work/life balance. I want a guy to be at least as successful as I am (which isn't that hard).
Well there you go. Let the guy who travels win always. It's ok...you still call one way or another.
I've seen a trend recently where men in low paying jobs are called deadbeats or losers as if his only worth is tied into having a nice job. Why should a man be automatically presumed a loser if he is making $40K/year? Why is there a double standard where a woman will never be called a loser for being underemployed?
He shouldn't. Women that think like that are ones to avoid, for a number of reasons.
The loser label doesn't stick well with unemployed women because of traditional gender roles. Even though it's 2013 and women are capable of doing well financially on their own, society still expects the man to work his fingers to the bone and provide.
We have been raised in such a materialistic society.
From the time we were little, we have been taught to be consumers. Buy Colgate, drink Coca-cola, buy presents for Xmas, Valentines Day, Easter, Mother's Day, Father's day. Grandparents Day, Secretary's Day, Stepdaughter's Day. Back-to-School Day, Hallowe'en, Black Friday, ahh, Xmas again.
Spend $12 to see a movie, spend $20 on the popcorn and coke that's worth about 28 cents. Buy the biggest house, the best car. Wealth = success, success = happiness.
And we're so identified and categorized by our jobs! How many times have you been at a party and someone introduced to you asks "what do you do?" They don't mean, do you like to play the piano or go on hikes in the woods. They mean, what do you get paid to do? Why do they need to know that before they can continue talking to you? Even if you're a security guard and you've written 4 novels, that's not good enough. "Have you been published?" - eg has any 3rd party validated your financial worth?" LOL. If you haven't been published, you're a loser.
I have a friend who left the corporate world years ago. She was head of a department and making $85,000 a year. Then she started playing the drums and joined a band, and loved it so much she quit her high paying job, and took an entry level position somewhere just to pay for her rent and food. She is one of the happiest people I know. I don't think she was ever seen as a loser. She probably would have, had she been male. Especially if her spouse had a "normal" job. Sad world.
Everyone has their priorities in life, and that's what it should be about. If you care less about management meetings and making your boss rich, and more about how you spend each day, I say go for it.
Good question. I think if a man makes an honest living and pays his bills, who cares exactly what he makes and what he does for an occupation? I think you have to look at exactly who is doing the name calling and consider the source. Why do they do it? To pat themselves on the back to make them selves feel better. I think usually to boost themselves.
^
^All you know is that one day it ends and in the meantime if you're not experiencing all you possibly can, you're doing something very wrong. Every moment, it's precious beyond what can be described in words. It's an artful experience for me...just being alive. Just existing. At least, imo.
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