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Has anyone been following this mess of a story? This lady stepped in it in so many ways with this letter. Not even the best C-D troll could match this gem of a letter she wrote to the school newspaper. Sexism, classism/elitism, this one has it all.
These are real gems:
"For most of you, the cornerstone of your future and happiness will be inextricably linked to the man you marry, and you will never again have this concentration of men who are worthy of you."
"Men regularly marry women who are younger, less intelligent, less educated. It’s amazing how forgiving men can be about a woman’s lack of erudition, if she is exceptionally pretty. Smart women can’t (shouldn’t) marry men who aren’t at least their intellectual equal. As Princeton women, we have almost priced ourselves out of the market. Simply put, there is a very limited population of men who are as smart or smarter than we are. And I say again — you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you."
"Of course, once you graduate, you will meet men who are your intellectual equal — just not that many of them. And, you could choose to marry a man who has other things to recommend him besides a soaring intellect. But ultimately, it will frustrate you to be with a man who just isn’t as smart as you."
For such a "well-educated" lady, Ms. Patton appears to lack any sort of common sense. Besides offending the 99.99999999% of men who didn't attend or graduate from Princeton, and falling for the age-old education equals intelligence fallacy, she assumes the women who attend Princeton are entitled little princesses(and arguably, a lot probably are if they're attending Princeton). Does anybody else see her views on the modern relationship as woefully outdated(ex. well-educated men commonly marrying dumb but beautiful women)? Are well-educated women truly pricing themselves out of the market or just refusing to wake up to the reality that they are now on a level playing field and are fighting for the same college admissions and jobs men are? Too bad these ladies can't marry their "soaring intellects."
But what do I know? I graduated from a state school...
Last edited by DTL3000; 04-06-2013 at 07:49 PM..
Reason: Sexier Title
You're right. Her audacity did rustle my jimmies, so to speak. But I also think there are a lot of interesting points that warrant discussion, despite her mangling them.
You're right. Her audacity did rustle my jimmies, so to speak. But I also think there are a lot of interesting points that warrant discussion, despite her mangling them.
what's audacious about it?
she says princeton men are smarter than non-princeton men. is that controversial?
she suggests women should find a man in college, and not wait until later in life because it is more difficult. is that controversial?
She's an idiot, and I'm amazed by the people ooh-ing and ah-ing over what she wrote. When I graduated from my Ivy League college, I was still pretty much a lump of unformed dough and a complete goofball. At least I was smart enough back then to know marriage wasn't the goal I should be striving for - it would have been a disaster and I shudder to think how it would have stunted my development as an individual. I barely knew who I was back then. Yeah, I know many people get married out of college, and it works for SOME of them. But for most of the ones who do, it is just way too soon. There were a few very mature individuals whom I could tell were ready for marriage, but the vast majority of my classmates were utterly unprepared for that kind of undertaking.
In the 15 years since I've been out in the big bad world, I've found many intelligent men who never even went to college, let alone an Ivy League institution. And I've found that most of my fellow Ivy Leaguers who are male are not people I'm remotely interested in.
I'm not married - I've realized that probably is not something I'm interested in too. I just like my life too much as it is. If I'd pursued that as a goal at 22 or so because it was what I believed I needed to live a happy and fulfilled life (and at that age I DID believe marriage and kids were necessary for a happy and fulfilling life), I would have probably ended up miserable.
Anyway, I really think her entire premise was flawed. If you go to an Ivy League school, odds are you will follow a career path and develop a social circle that will expose you to many other people from similar academic backgrounds, with similar intellects. Of course, except for my college friends, I'm the only Ivy Leaguer in my social circle, but I'm rather atypical compared with my classmates. I will say though that my friend are all exceptionally intelligent and appreciate my intelligence. And a hell of a lot of them are smarter than me.
Everybody's gotta do what's right for them, but I really think advising young women to look at college as some kind of concentrated pool of appropriate husbands is kinda stupid. You're there to learn and develop yourself. You are offered opportunities at an Ivy League school that hardly anyone else ever has a chance at - finding the right mate is really not among those unique opportunities.
I just do not think "Snap the good ones up before the bimbos get 'em" is really a philosophy to live by.
I actually agree that relationships in which the woman is markedly more intelligent than the man don't work out that well. When the genders are reversed, it doesn't seem to cause as many issues. At least that has been my observation.
And I specifically said intelligence, not education.
It's the Princeton worshiping that's so off-putting about this woman. It's not such an outstanding belief of hers to have, to be fair. She holds the men that graduate from the school to a high honor.
But from my little personal experience, and the experience of others who are much older than I am, there are plenty of intellectual, honorable, witty men out there without the Ivy League degree on their resume. Sometimes without a graduate degree, even. Is she really going to pretend some Ivy League grads aren't stuck in dead end jobs catering to people with less prestigious educations?
I generally avoid people who attended Ivy League schools because so many have this air of superiority to them. I attended a well known art college and while I could have gone to an Ivy League I'm sure (I had the grades)it never crossed my mind.
I graduated from UCLA, have an advanced Art degree, I also attend Anderson School of Business for two years (Never finished). All my ex boyfriends graduated from Ivy League universities. NONE of them have astonishing sense of entitlement or a sense of superiority. NONE of them have cared where I went to school.
I've dated men who are college football players, construction workers, lawyers, software engineers, special effect engineers, factory workers, many many MANY artists (visual or performing artists), these men enriched my life and I will never be the person I am today without them.
Susan Patton is a sad example of a bitter, vindictive, angry, yet successful middle aged woman who could never attract the men she wants to attract. Her marriage was a total disaster, and the fact that she belittles her ex husband in public is shameful to say the least.
She is a very successful yet very unhappy woman. Always will be.
My experience is different, but maybe it's the area? All I know are the people I knew who attended Ivy League (oddly most attended Harvard and Yale)had an attitude. Same reason I generally avoid frat boys when dating (had a string of bad luck with them). However I don't feel where one attended is important to who someone dates (though in my case it might because a huge majority of my male classmates were gay).
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."
. It’s amazing how forgiving men can be about a woman’s lack of erudition, if she is exceptionally pretty. Smart women can’t (shouldn’t) marry men who aren’t at least their intellectual equal
. As Princeton women, we have almost priced ourselves out of the market. Simply put, there is a very limited population of men who are as smart or smarter than we are. And I say again — you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you."
. But ultimately, it will frustrate you to be with a man who just isn’t as smart as you."
