First Rough Draft

[Finger Laker]

I'll throw another log in the fire, knowing that it's pointless but what the heck

I really understand where he's coming from .... especially since he's in HS and this is the world as he knows it.

Those of us who are out in the world, have had relationships both good and bad, have been at the end of the world only to survive it and see something better have a perspective that he has yet to realize

Unfortunately, despite being told countless times and our efforts to share our perspective - it's pointless because he doesn't want to hear it and doesn't understand it.

My advice - write what you want to write, deal with your emotions, deal with how this rejection has made you feel, deal with your own self confidence, self affirm to yourself and hopefully come to the realization that your value isn't tied to how this girl reacts to you.

Then take that confidence and realize that in Texas alone there are just under 2 million women aged 15-24 ... so conservatively that would be 500,000 in your dating pool ....... plenty of fish in this sea

Instead of focusing on the one who doesn't want you - focus on the ones that do .... make yourself available to them

As for why she doesn't want you? - Who cares, it's highschool ........... accept it, move on and start fresh in college .... don't leave any bad feelings/issues as you walk out the door.

It sounds like you haven't had a lot of luck with girls - which is completely fine ...... despite all the bravado, many HS boys don't ..... what those boys quickly figure out is the world is much larger than HS

If you still care in a few years, maybe you can run into her over spring break and playfully let her know that you had a crush on her ..... hopefully with a prettier, smarter girl waiting for you back at campus

So definitely, write the letter .... journal ... do what it takes for you to come to grips with you ..... just burn the evidence and absolutely do not send her anything like that in writing

All it's going to do is create a direct negative reaction

[akck]

Originally Posted by Jay Watson

True.

I feel that what she is saying by her rejection is that I am somehow, “inadequate’ as a person, to the point, that I have no right to even presume I might ever have a chance.
If she would simply tell me what is that I am “lacking” I could work to meet her expectations, by attempting to improve myself. If what I am lacking is something that cannot be changed (i.e.; appearance), I am at a loss as of how I should proceed further in this endeavor.

Trust me, she as a person is worth waiting for. That is why I can easily say that I would never consider anyone else.

You have absolutely no idea what her rejection is saying because you've never talk to her. For the most part, her reasons are meaningless and do not matter. No matter how much you change to fit her idea of the perfect mate, you'll never fit the picture because she'll always remember you for what you were. You'll now say that's not fair, she should give you a chance and how do I make her give me a chance. In this, she won't change because she's had 3-4 years to change and if anything, she's more resistant to any relationship with you. Another few years will not change her feelings.

How does she treat other Hispanics? Other minorities? If she's somewhat cold to them, then you have one of the reasons why she doesn't like you. You can't change her years of upbringing. You can complain how unfair it is, but it is what it is.

Oh, and what about showing the letter to your parents and other trusted adults?

[srjth]

I saw this yesterday. Watch it. Don't turn into this dude.

#01: Look Who's Stalking - TV Episodes - Biography.com

[RedZin]

Originally Posted by Jay Watson

Well, to answer your question, I have been rejected. The rejection came after many of my classmates told her I liked her.

She would reply in curt, short, and monotone, responses to express her disinterest. Whenever the subject of my interest was brought up she would respond to their questions by saying things like: "oh that again". One person said that when they asked; "Do you know Jay", she simply said, "Yes" and walked away without saying anything else. Whenever, I see her at school she looks very uncomfortable, and does her best to avoid me. If that isn't rejection, I don't know what is. Does that answer your question?

What you have written here adequately explains all you need to know about her.

She's not interested and she's not going to be.

You will forever be "that guy who creeped her out all the way through high school."

She does her best to avoid you because she doesn't want to encourage you. She wants to discourage you.

This may come as a surprise, but sometimes people have no clue why other people turn them off.

So, even if she felt inclined to tell you what you "lack" she may not even consciously know what it is about you that she doesn't like.

What I have wondered about all this time is what on earth makes someone pine away for a girl who treats him like poo she got stuck on the bottom of her shoes.

Why is that sort of revulsion keeping you attracted to her?

It's not all these things about her that you believe to be so awesome, because (let's face it) you really don't know her at all.

And, she doesn't know you. Nor does she want to know you.

The only thing "wrong" with you is your obsession with a girl you don't really know who has made it clear that she has no interest in you whatsoever. It's unhealthy.

If she was your ex-GF or something, and you made a mistake that caused her to dump you? This sort of attempt to communicate might make even the smallest shred of sense.

If you two were best buddies all the way through junior high? Might make sense.

You do NOT know this girl. This whole situation is twisted. Please get help.

[Finger Laker]

exactly

the real question isn't "what does she want" or "what does she not want"

it's "why don't I have"

that's what is driving you nuts - trying to understand what you lack that is keeping her away

truth is it may be nothing of any real consequence and even if she were able & willing to articulate it (which she most likely is not) it doesn't change anything

instead of trying to go out of your way to please someone who doesn't have interest in you and working to validate yourself through them ..... become focused and comfortable with yourself

understand that you are deserving as is and that you will continue to mature and grow .... once you get out of the HS fishbowl you'll start interacting frequently with people who have a common interest and from that starting ground you'll find someone who will appreciate you - as opposed to wasting time & opportunity longing for the one who doesn't