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Good for you weezer, you are a true gentleman. Your girl is very lucky to have you!
We aren't back together. We are on the ground floor of reconciling our relationship. We're definitely taking things very slow, which I hate, but it's likely best. I'm impatient, so this is testing my ability to have patience for something I really want.
He didn't mention anything about wanting to see me and not being able to or when exactly all this work drama would be over (he works for the government) so I'm not really holding out hope that this is going to go anywhere.
If it comes out that he's dating other people then I have no problem with that. We're far from exclusive and I'm keeping my options open as well. However, I do appreciate that I heard from him...even though I would appreciate honesty instead of excuses.
I will be curious to see if I hear from him again. In the meantime, perhaps I'll meet someone else.
He didn't mention anything about wanting to see me and not being able to or when exactly all this work drama would be over (he works for the government) so I'm not really holding out hope that this is going to go anywhere.
If it comes out that he's dating other people then I have no problem with that. We're far from exclusive and I'm keeping my options open as well. However, I do appreciate that I heard from him...even though I would appreciate honesty instead of excuses.
I will be curious to see if I hear from him again. In the meantime, perhaps I'll meet someone else.
Thank you all again for your insight.
Yes, you are keeping your options open, but the key is you don't have another option. I said the same line too, but in reality, I didn't have other options. That's why online dating was such a tough call for me. Women likely had far more options than I did, since they had a better chance of receiving a message from a guy, than myself receiving a message from a lady.
I get that you are leaving your options open, which is safe, but at the same time I can tell your emotions are hurt. You're trying your best to play the tough girl role, but deep down you don't like feeling like you're just another girl he's talking to.
While you were seeing him, he was the only guy you had interest in. In the last few days you have realized how he's been treating you differently. You feel stupid, because he was the only guy you were talking too, while you may have been one of several women he's been talking too. Your feelings were on the line a bit, because you weren't interested in any other guy for the time being.
It's safe to say that everyone keeps their options open. I have my options open right now, but that doesn't mean I have anyone in my life as an option. You made him a psuedo priority, while he likely just made you an option. That's why you're hurt and I would be hurt too.
This has happened to me before as well. Everything seems to be going great, go on a few dates, and then you just notice a change, and all of the sudden, no more texts or phone calls. It literally changes in a matter of seconds. I just chalked it up to that is how dating is these days, and to either develop really thick skin, or just get out of the game completely.
As far as walking you to your car and making sure you drove off safely, I agree with everyone else, that in spite of what he may have felt or not felt for you, it is only polite and safe to make sure you left ok. Even when I drop someone off, I won't leave until they are in the house.
This has happened to me before as well. Everything seems to be going great, go on a few dates, and then you just notice a change, and all of the sudden, no more texts or phone calls. It literally changes in a matter of seconds. I just chalked it up to that is how dating is these days, and to either develop really thick skin, or just get out of the game completely.
As far as walking you to your car and making sure you drove off safely, I agree with everyone else, that in spite of what he may have felt or not felt for you, it is only polite and safe to make sure you left ok. Even when I drop someone off, I won't leave until they are in the house.
Exactly, this behavior is par for course in modern dating. One just has to roll with the punches. I used to take flaking and ghosting pretty personally but nine times out of ten it has nothing to with you.
You made him a psuedo priority, while he likely just made you an option.
So does this mean you automatically bail on the guy or the girl? In my dating life, I often find myself either on one side or the other. Very rarely have I liked someone as much as she liked me or vice versa. If you don't find yourself in that ideal situation, is it never worth the effort to work toward it?
So does this mean you automatically bail on the guy or the girl? In my dating life, I often find myself either on one side or the other. Very rarely have I liked someone as much as she liked me or vice versa. If you don't find yourself in that ideal situation, is it never worth the effort to work toward it?
I'm all for working towards it. I'm doing it right now with my ex and she's more on the dock than in the boat with me. There's only certain people I'll risk myself to be that vulnerable too. It's usually people I've dated and made a bonehead decision to break up with, or it's someone I REALLY REALLY trust. Just someone I met from an online dating service or went on a couple of dates with, is not going to get me to put myself that far out there.
Two people have to be working towards the same common goal to make something work. If he wants to remain single and she wants to work towards a relationship, then they will have emotional issues between each other. He'll have to either work towards wanting to be in a relationship with her, she'll have to accept to be in his rotation for women.
Dating has kind of always worked the same for me over the last 5 years or so. I'll go through a dry spell then I'll just stop dating. Then I'll pick up a rotation of women that I hung out with or slept with. Then, all of a sudden, I'll have women that will be truly interested in dating me.
My friends explained it to me really well a couple of weeks ago. It's like a Porsche that has a "take me, it's free sign" on it. If you just walk up to the car and see that sign, then likely all you're thinking is what's wrong with the car. If you see that same car going down the road, then you want it. Dating can tend to be the same thing. Most people want you when you're unavailable, because someone has found you as being desirable. When you're single, you're naturally not seen as desirable.
I thought I'm going to be busy at work for awhile was the universal code for I don't want to see you anymore?
I always make my friends text me they got home safe after we go out and we are all adults in our 20's and 30's. If I drop a friend off at their house I don't drive away until I see them go in the house. What if you drop them off and speed away and they realize they've lost their keys and are now stuck standing outside alone in the dark? Where I come from people look out for one another.
As soon as I stepped out of the door onto his front porch he shut the door. He didn't watch me walk to my car and I immediately felt used. The whole thing felt very rude. I shrugged it off and unintential and I figured he would call me when he got back.
It just doesn't all add up to me. Anybody have any suggestions as to what I should do?
Please, it was the season finale of the Walking Dead! And he -was- watching you getting into your car
Seriously? What don't you understand? OP has been trying to figure out where she stands with this guy, now he tells her he will be "busy at work for a while," so she's not sure when or if she will see him again.
You asked "Has no one ever been busy at work before?" implying that his excuse could be a genuine reason that he doesn't have time to see her.
If he was truly into her, even if he truly was going to be busy with work for a while, he wouldn't blow her off with a cold statement like that. He'd assure her that he still wants to get together, he hates that work is preventing him from spending as much time with her as he'd like, he has really been enjoying getting to know her, etc. OP didn't mention that he gave her any such assurances.....just a "too busy with work" blowoff.
Just stay tuned for updates from OP.
Agree with this. People just dont want to hear the truth. Listen..IF someone REALLY likes you and is REALLY interested in getting to know you, u will not have to be on a message board asking for advice. You will KNOW it. This guy is blowing the OP off.
Just another reason to take ur time before u give it up. Waiting to see if you can get a better idea on what each other is looking for is never a bad idea. Some people complain about women who do that. Easy to complain about taking ur time until ur the one writing on a message board wondering why a guy has cooled off towards you. If the guy doesnt want to take the time to get to know u a bit more.tell him to go find some other chick to f---k. Who cares..he isnt into u anyway.
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What don't you understand? 
