Why do women have "bad luck" with guys? (wives, kids)
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Ummm. no you wont. your "value" depends fully on how you see yourself, at any point of your life. You do not need a college degree, a career, a nice car or a family in order to see yourself as someone of value. How others perceive you should have no bearing on how you see yourself, if you want to build a solid foundation for your self esteem and self-confidence. You notice its "self"-esteem and not "others"-esteem, and its "self"-confidence rather than "others"-confidence. Yet, that's preceisely the mistake many young men make. They rely on their careers, jobs, cars and earthly possessions to dictate how they feel about themselves. Its an incredibly stupid position to be in, because all those things can be lost in a day or taken away from you, without your input. You are putting your life in someone elses hands and hoping it all goes well.
Not to mention, im glad youre working and going to school, but think of it as a norm as millions of people do the same. I also didn't have any time for dating during my college years and it kind of sucked but I thought of it as norm. Working a salaried full time 50hr/week managers job, while attending school full time, paying for school fees and books, rent for my own place a car not and everything else, without as much as any help available form anywhere, was something I also had to deal with. Made me a better person in the long run. Chin up son.
To me i feel a lot better at a job that matters then one dead end job . I just do not get how people are happy at a job that you cant advance in . I just do not get how people are happy staying at the same job making the same pay for 45+ years?
I feel like I've failed in terms of what my potential is.The desire to feel like you're not a loser drives me. I don't know if that's the healthiest thing—to be motivated by a fear of hating yourself. But it definitely helps.It's this constant feeling of not having achieved enough.
I do feel my value will go up in terms of when going on a date and telling a girl you love your job and would not want to do anything else .
If i went on a date with a girl and told her I work retail and that all i want to do . You can see it in her face what she is think and it is check pleases I need to get out of here.
I think some women just have a hard time admitting to themselves that's the type of guy they like and are turned on by. Some are flat out ashamed
Well, some women don't get the luxury of simply picking whatever man they want.
Quote:
Originally Posted by krieger00
To me i feel a lot better at a job that matters then one dead end job . I just do not get how people are happy at a job that you cant advance in . I just do not get how people are happy staying at the same job making the same pay for 45+ years?
I feel like I've failed in terms of what my potential is.The desire to feel like you're not a loser drives me. I don't know if that's the healthiest thing—to be motivated by a fear of hating yourself. But it definitely helps.It's this constant feeling of not having achieved enough.
I do feel my value will go up in terms of when going on a date and telling a girl you love your job and would not want to do anything else .
If i went on a date with a girl and told her I work retail and that all i want to do . You can see it in her face what she is think and it is check pleases I need to get out of here.
And what if you do all that and get a great job and are still alone? What if all of that doesn't matter? What will you do then? What if you end up HATING your new job? One of my coworkers is an RN...she lasted 3 months in a hospital before she realized she hated being a nurse and quit.
I'd much rather date a guy who is comfortable and happy working retail than a guy who is cutthroat and willing to do anything just to get a promotion or make a little more money. It's actually one of the things that makes me wary about the guy I'm dating...he's a business/startup consultant with an MBA and I was very worried when we first started dating that he was going to be the 'typical douchebag businessman' and luckily he isn't. The minute he becomes that person, I'm out.
Well, some women don't get the luxury of simply picking whatever man they want.
And what if you do all that and get a great job and are still alone? What if all of that doesn't matter? What will you do then? What if you end up HATING your new job? One of my coworkers is an RN...she lasted 3 months in a hospital before she realized she hated being a nurse and quit.
I'd much rather date a guy who is comfortable and happy working retail than a guy who is cutthroat and willing to do anything just to get a promotion or make a little more money. It's actually one of the things that makes me wary about the guy I'm dating...he's a business/startup consultant with an MBA and I was very worried when we first started dating that he was going to be the 'typical douchebag businessman' and luckily he isn't. The minute he becomes that person, I'm out.
Well I cant or wont pick one ever be comfortable and happy working retail . It just no going to happen I will not let it. How can I if i got to work 7 days a week 16 hour days just to make ends meet.
Yea sure making good money is great and all but i want to be able to spend time with my GF/wife and the kids down the road when ever that happens. I want to see my kids grow up and be involved what ever there into.
On top of that working only 3/12 hour shifts will give time to do all the things i always wanted to do.
Also i smart and volunteering soon a a hospital plan on getting at least 100 to 300 hours and got my CNA took that class .
Ummm. no you wont. your "value" depends fully on how you see yourself, at any point of your life. You do not need a college degree, a career, a nice car or a family in order to see yourself as someone of value. How others perceive you should have no bearing on how you see yourself, if you want to build a solid foundation for your self esteem and self-confidence. You notice its "self"-esteem and not "others"-esteem, and its "self"-confidence rather than "others"-confidence. Yet, that's preceisely the mistake many young men make. They rely on their careers, jobs, cars and earthly possessions to dictate how they feel about themselves. Its an incredibly stupid position to be in, because all those things can be lost in a day or taken away from you, without your input. You are putting your life in someone elses hands and hoping it all goes well.
Not to mention, im glad youre working and going to school, but think of it as a norm as millions of people do the same. I also didn't have any time for dating during my college years and it kind of sucked but I thought of it as norm. Working a salaried full time 50hr/week managers job, while attending school full time, paying for school fees and books, rent for my own place a car not and everything else, without as much as any help available form anywhere, was something I also had to deal with. Made me a better person in the long run. Chin up son.
In any human competition you don't get to unilaterally declare a value which is binding on others.
You don't get to collect $50 per hour just because you tell a job interviewer that's what you're worth, and you don't get to date an 8 just because you declare yourself to be an 8.
Even with the right degree you still start from the bottom and have to work hard over many years to move up.
That just means I got something to work towards . once you done every thing in retail you become a dog chasing its tail .plus if I wanted to stand around all day going nowhere I be a school teacher . LOL
There is this retail worker where I shop he 70 years old and been working there for 35 years and can afford to stop working.
I use that as push my self so I do not end up happing to me. I do not want to die at work I rather die at home or on in my home in belize.
...............
I think the difference is that the problem most women have is finding a "good" man. That is, a man who is honest, decent and won't just use them for sex. However, the problem men typically have is finding any woman at all. ..........................
Some advice for the lovelorn male. If you can't get any date at all, try working on your honesty. Try working towards being a decent human being. Find something about women that you enjoy being around that isn't sex.
There is a severe shortage of men who are honest, decent, and aren't using women for nothing else but sex. If you can mold yourself into that sort of man, you won't encounter a lot of competition out there in the real world.
To me i feel a lot better at a job that matters then one dead end job . I just do not get how people are happy at a job that you cant advance in . I just do not get how people are happy staying at the same job making the same pay for 45+ years?
I feel like I've failed in terms of what my potential is.The desire to feel like you're not a loser drives me. I don't know if that's the healthiest thing—to be motivated by a fear of hating yourself. But it definitely helps.It's this constant feeling of not having achieved enough.
I do feel my value will go up in terms of when going on a date and telling a girl you love your job and would not want to do anything else .
If i went on a date with a girl and told her I work retail and that all i want to do . You can see it in her face what she is think and it is check pleases I need to get out of here.
Just projecting here, but I think a lot of those people are UNhappy but feel powerless to get a job they enjoy. Career failure for men often amounts to total life fail, as you noted, women are not favorably impressed with men who have crappy jobs.
Some advice for the lovelorn male. If you can't get any date at all, try working on your honesty. Try working towards being a decent human being. Find something about women that you enjoy being around that isn't sex.
There is a severe shortage of men who are honest, decent, and aren't using women for nothing else but sex. If you can mold yourself into that sort of man, you won't encounter a lot of competition out there in the real world.
But if they are shy and also have crappy dead-end jobs, their lack of competition won't matter.
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I just do not get how people are happy staying at the same job making the same pay for 45+ years? 
ever be comfortable and happy working retail . It just no going to happen I will not let it. How can I if i got to work 7 days a week 16 hour days just to make ends meet. 
