Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
what if all your life everything has been about other people and you never put yourself first?? what if your relationships have been all HIM HIM HIM HIM and then, many years later, you find yourself alone after giving EVERYTHING to someone, helping him through huge depression and trauma, he sucked the life out of you, and when he turns 30 he decides to go to live to europe?? You find yourself alone, after spending all your youth taking care of people.
Excuse me, mister, but its GONNA BE "ME ME ME" from now on.
Its about time.
The fact that you voluntarily put someone else first all the time is YOUR PROBLEM. There is no reason at all two humans cannot have a good balanced relationship and neither loses their own identity.
I'm currently single. And have been for the most part of my life. But at times I really start to feel down because I feel like i'm missing out on something great. Yet at other times, I see almost on a regular basis people ending the relationships that they're in,and all the heart ache that goes along with it. And it's when I see this. I think to myself. "Maybe I am better off being single after-all."
Have you found Jesus yet? I thought he got it all figured out for you? No?
John 3:16
New International Version (NIV)
16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Since your God is a suffering God who embraces pain, why can't you take a little bit pain and give love and relationship another try?
Being single doesn't mean you have zero responsibilities at all though, most people can't just disappear for months on end across the world. Go over to the work and employment forum and see how people who took a year or two off to travel (not including college students) are faring in the job market. It isn't pretty.
I can. I'm self-employed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazy carrie
But in general being single doesn't mean you don't ever have to take anyone else's needs into consideration, ever in your life.
It does if you don't care. I've purposely set my life up so that I'm under no obligations to anyone or anything.
The way I see it, on a scale of 1 to 10, a great relationship is a 9, being single is an 8, and non-great relationships range from 1 to 4. It takes something very special to make it worth me giving up being single, in other words.
I'm jealous then, I'd love to be able to do that! (seriously. No sarcasm. That's friggin awesome)
Thanks!
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazy carrie
that sounds lonely...no family or friends or even a pet? how did you manage that? but hey..to each their own I guess...
I have friends and family, but they know that I don't follow social obligations to do stuff if I don't want to.
Like "Hey Kyle, you should go visit your mom for Mother's Day." If I don't want to, I'll just say "Nope."
I expect them to treat me the same way. I don't do anything I don't want to and I don't want them to do something they don't want to, just because of obligations society tries to impose on you.
I'm currently single. And have been for the most part of my life. But at times I really start to feel down because I feel like i'm missing out on something great. Yet at other times, I see almost on a regular basis people ending the relationships that they're in,and all the heart ache that goes along with it. And it's when I see this. I think to myself. "Maybe I am better off being single after-all."
Wouldn't that be completely individual?
No two people need/want the same things in a relationship.
Or not to have one.
You get to do whatever you want.
You get to stay up late watching whatever you want.
You get to go out and party whenever you want.
You don't have to worry about your girlfriend not liking what you do or who you hang out with.
You have a lot more money usually.
You don't have to worry about being nagged all the time.
You can sleep late, play video games, walk around in your underwear whenever you want.
Drawbacks to being single:
Your friends have their own lives to go back to.
You live in an empty house.
You have no one to talk to when everyone else is busy.
You don't have children to teach and pass on knowledge to.
Did I mention the empty house?
You don't have anyone to really feel connected to.
You don't have anyone to spend your life with.
Perks of being in a relationship:
You know what love is or might potentially be.
You can potentially feel connected to someone.
You can potentially have children to teach and pass knowledge to.
You potentially have someone to spend the rest of your life with.
If you feel bad or down about something, you can always have someone to talk to.
You won't feel alone all the time.
Your house is no longer empty.
Drawbacks to being in a relationship:
You might be nagged by your significant other.
You'll have to get dressed.
You might not be able to spend a lot of time with friends (unless you invite them over or something).
You won't be going out partying as much (This one can probably be bypassed with a babysitter or some alone time).
You won't get a lot of alone time.
Your significant other might have a problem with your friends/family/job/hobbies etc. etc.
If you break up the emotional pain might be excruciating.
Your significant other might want to change you or control you in some way.
Your significant other could turn out to be psycho (possibly even the next Jodi Arias).
Your significant other might not be what you thought in other ways.
Your significant other might be a gold-digger and might just be using you for your money or other ways.
I've been single for 29 years. I think all the risks involved with being in a relationship are worth much more than being alone for the rest of my life. I choose love. That's my choice though. Being single works for some people it doesn't for others.
I'm currently single. And have been for the most part of my life. But at times I really start to feel down because I feel like i'm missing out on something great. Yet at other times, I see almost on a regular basis people ending the relationships that they're in,and all the heart ache that goes along with it. And it's when I see this. I think to myself. "Maybe I am better off being single after-all."
If you have a lot of cool friends to do things with and are comfortable being alone then I would say singleness is a more peaceful road.
If you are a loner and spend too much time at home watching porn on the Internet then I would suggest having a relationship with someone.
Either road you decide is your choice. IMO marriage is going to always have troubles because we are all imperfect.
I think you already know the answer. Except for people like Wilt Chamberlin and Magic Johnson, most men and women who have a healthy history of serial monogamy, eventually say to themselves "I want more out of life". This is even true of many of those who are afraid of relationships, but in their case they often "relapse".
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
