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Guys can afford to wait later to start families. I know too many women my age that are already having fertility problems. 30-34 are already down to 63% and it just keeps dropping from there.
I married a guy my own age, but I don't think 20 something women can be entirely blamed for looking at older men. If having kids is important to you and you know it's going to take another decade to support kids and watching your fertility rate go down while you wait, there's interest in someone more financially stable to cut a few years off that wait.
I have always heard/assumed that it starts dropping dramatically after 35, maybe the problem is not so much age but them (sorry if that came across as crass/mean). Someone 30-34 normally shouldn't have that many problems.
Anyways yeah men in some ways could afford to wait, if they set themselves up good in their 20's with some type of career/job. As much as 20 something women love slightly older men it comes with an expectation that they should have for the most part have their **** together.
I have always heard/assumed that it starts dropping dramatically after 35, maybe the problem is not so much age but them (sorry if that came across as crass/mean). Someone 30-34 normally shouldn't have that many problems.
Anyways yeah men in some ways could afford to wait, if they set themselves up good in their 20's with some type of career/job. As much as 20 something women love slightly older men it comes with an expectation that they should have for the most part have their **** together.
You weren't rude, just sometimes posters can go on about "gold diggers" on this forum. I doubt they're gold digging. But I can imagine there are young women looking at older men who are financially stable. I don't see why it's seen negatively. It seems reasonable to me.
You weren't rude, just sometimes posters can go on about "gold diggers" on this forum. I doubt they're gold digging. But I can imagine there are young women looking at older men who are financially stable. I don't see why it's seen negatively. It seems reasonable to me.
Oh no, you brought up a good point on why younger women seek out older men, for maturity/stability, I don't think people think "gold digger" until one party in the relationship (usually a women) is at least 10 years older or when people find it werid/odd that there is an even attraction there to the older person from the younger one.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
So true. The speaker overlooks the fact that people start new careers at all ages. And there are many paths in the 20's besides the extremes of being career-oriented vs. a partyer. Some people need time to work on personal issues. Some people start college late, or college gets temporarily interrupted due to family concerns or economic roadblocks. Some people need extra time to sort out what they want to do career-wise, and might have a couple of false starts. Others may just want to take a couple of years after college to slow down and recover from a very intense 4 years of full-time work plus school.
If, as the speaker says, the brain is still growing in the 20's, and people are changing, and won't be the same person at 30 as they were at 21, then why lock themselves into a job and a relationship that may not be a good fit by the time they finish maturing? There are a few seeming contradictions in the speaker's points.
What I've bolded would describe my situation. I feel I want to slow down a bit, which is why I didn't try to get into grad school right away after I graduated from college. Also, I was in college for six years getting my Bachelor's. I'll admit some of that was my fault and some was because I had to juggle working essentially full-time during those six years. I also had my father pass away during that time.
Honestly, I'm just emotionally tired, and taking my sabbatical from dating (described on another thread) will allow me some relief and maybe I just professionally figure myself out.
You weren't rude, just sometimes posters can go on about "gold diggers" on this forum. I doubt they're gold digging. But I can imagine there are young women looking at older men who are financially stable. I don't see why it's seen negatively. It seems reasonable to me.
Depends on the particular guys past, if he spent his 20s in relative celibacy to build his life he does not want to see it disappear in one divorce to a young gold digger, I would prefer a woman my age or slightly older.
Now if he never went a day without sex his entire 20s he may think differently
Depends on the particular guys past, if he spent his 20s in relative celibacy to build his life he does not want to see it disappear in one divorce to a young gold digger, I would prefer a woman my age or slightly older.
Now if he never went a day without sex his entire 20s he may think differently
Well that's also highly dependent on what part of the country/region/city the person is in. Around late 20/early 30's is when the available singles start to "thin" out, and it just gets hard from there.
Women should not settle down in their early 20's.
You don't know what you want at that age. I settled too,but now that I'm older and know what I want,its too late.
Older guys play to many games. I dated older guys in my early and mid 20's and now looking back I wish I would have dated the guys my age.
That way,we would have grown together.
Women should not settle down in their early 20's.
You don't know what you want at that age. I settled too,but now that I'm older and know what I want,its too late.
Older guys play to many games. I dated older guys in my early and mid 20's and now looking back I wish I would have dated the guys my age.
That way,we would have grown together.
Life does not always work out the way we hope, I always wonder what it would have been like to get married in my early 20's and have a text book life not worrying about who is going to screw me in a divorce or child support or counseling or whatever.
Well that's also highly dependent on what part of the country/region/city the person is in. Around late 20/early 30's is when the available singles start to "thin" out, and it just gets hard from there.
It was hard when I was 16-32, I have seen no difference in level of difficulty in dating and I have lived in various locations. Either your hot or your not and if your not its just going to be hard at any age.
What I've bolded would describe my situation. I feel I want to slow down a bit, which is why I didn't try to get into grad school right away after I graduated from college. Also, I was in college for six years getting my Bachelor's. I'll admit some of that was my fault and some was because I had to juggle working essentially full-time during those six years. I also had my father pass away during that time.
Honestly, I'm just emotionally tired, and taking my sabbatical from dating (described on another thread) will allow me some relief and maybe I just professionally figure myself out.
Grad school plans? Cool. If you go to grad school at some point, that would allow you to start your career all over again, but at a new and better level. Leapfrog over those promotions you're trying to get. A new round of job applications and interviews. And maybe some internships while in school. Are you trying to save for grad school, by any chance? Just curious. Loans can be intimidating.
Yeah, I knew promising students who had to drop out in order to help support younger siblings in school. They barely got into college under EOP, then after a couple of years had to drop out. All kinds of stuff can happen to derail people. Universities need to do more fundraising to build up a good scholarship fund. I think they're finally starting to do that, after all these tuition increases.
Diss, get a mega-degree in Economics or Finance, then help us rebuild the economy, haha! But seriously, we need help!
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