Help! moving in with bf... (wife, boyfriend, how to, women)
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I don't know if it's the right place to post this, but In 3 months I'm moving in with my BF...
Basically it's his parents' house but we're going to be living in the basement apartment, so it's the same thing as living alone.
I was brought up in a sort of a dysfunctional family, we never had family dinners and food was whatever we could find in the fridge. Then I moved out to live on my own and ate at work, so I never really learned how to cook.
He, on the other hand was raised in a house with a stay-at-home-mom that cooked for everybody, and sisters who got used to make food for their BF.
They're this sort of a traditional family, where the women do the cooking and cleaning and the men work.
I see nothing wrong with that but the only problem is I CAN'T COOK!
A while ago my BF was in the kitchen making an omelette for me, and I was just sitting there...
That's like watching a girl fixing a flat tire while her BF is standing my watching...
Help! what do I do? I don't even want him to know I can't cook (let alone his family).
I thought about taking cooking classes but it's going to be impossible with my work schedule...
First, living in a basement apartment is NOT living alone, it is living in his parents home in the basement.
Second, how could he not know you cannot cook since it appears you have never made him food at your place.
Last, ask his Mother or Sisters to teach you how to cook basics and go from there. You have to start somewhere and cooking can be learned most of the time, unless you are my Grandmother who never did learn how to cook.
First, living in a basement apartment is NOT living alone, it is living in his parents home in the basement.
Second, how could he not know you cannot cook since it appears you have never made him food at your place.
Last, ask his Mother or Sisters to teach you how to cook basics and go from there. You have to start somewhere and cooking can be learned most of the time, unless you are my Grandmother who never did learn how to cook.
OK, so it's not exactly "alone", which is even worse 'cause his mom would want me to help her cook...
but we are going to have our own kitchen and most of the food he's going to be eating will be MINE. Not his mom's.
And I don't think he knows...we never really stay in my place, usually at his where his mom always has food prepared so I never really got the chance to cook for him.
And I thought about asking his mom/sisters but that would be soooooo embarrassing...I'm sort of a failure at being a woman (or well, that's what they would think.)
I'd make a terrible wife...I don't know the first thing about kids, AND I can't cook!
(thank god I can clean lol )
Why do I have a feeling I'm gonna end up like your grandmother?
Relax. I'm happy for you first of all. Ok, no time for cooking classes, why not just find recipes on the internet for cooking very simple things, things in the crock pot, you just get the ingredients and throw them in. Sometimes you chop them up, sometimes there are bags where you just empty the whole bag in there and do nothing (but I guess that's not exactly cooking lol), you can also learn to bake some nice cakes and stuff for desert, much easier than doing the main course or maybe some creative salads for before the meal. You have 3 months to experiment with all of this and really, don't worry, you don't have to be exactly like everyone else. Most people come from dysfunctional families. You will know his family better once you move in and see the not so perfect side. But start making yourself dinners and deserts and salads meanwhile and see what you come up with if it stresses you out. Good luck and have fun
Update: I see, you have to do (or feel you will be expected to do the main course, have you talked to your boyfriend about this? I'm sure he's not with you because he assumes you are some kind of chef . . .) the main course. I like the poster's suggestion on going on you tube. I think you should start with easy stuff though, like spaghetti and garlic bread. You can still do salad and dessert with that. You'll be a great wife. Just have fun and relax.
It's not your job as a woman to cook and clean, it's your job as a functioning adult to have life skills and be able take care of yourself, which includes preparing meals. Like people mentioned above, look at youtube or buy some cookbooks. There are plenty of easy 30 Minute or Five Ingredient recipes that are perfect for beginners. Cook with your boyfriend and learn from and with him. Nobody's expecting you to make Thanksgiving dinner from scratch, but most everyone can scramble some eggs or boil some pasta or bake some chicken.
I thought about taking cooking classes but it's going to be impossible with my work schedule...
Which means that you shouldn't be burdened with doing all of the cooking. If you work full-time, and he works full-time, you really might want to consider that he should be pulling his weight with the cooking, too.
Sure, you can learn, and of course, you should know how and do your share of it. But please, do not fall into the trap of doing all of the cooking and cleaning when you work full-time. Trust me on this. If you end up doing "second shift" while he sits on his butt, I can promise that you will eventually get pretty sick and tired of it.
OK, so it's not exactly "alone", which is even worse 'cause his mom would want me to help her cook...
but we are going to have our own kitchen and most of the food he's going to be eating will be MINE. Not his mom's.
And I don't think he knows...we never really stay in my place, usually at his where his mom always has food prepared so I never really got the chance to cook for him.
And I thought about asking his mom/sisters but that would be soooooo embarrassing...I'm sort of a failure at being a woman (or well, that's what they would think.)
I'd make a terrible wife...I don't know the first thing about kids, AND I can't cook!
(thank god I can clean lol )
Why do I have a feeling I'm gonna end up like your grandmother?
eh, loosen up, a lot of people really cannot cook that well so it is really not a big deal and you may be pleasantly surprised at how close you and his Mother and sisters can become when you ask her to help you learn some cooking techniques. The Grandmother that could not cook could bake like you would not believe and my other Grandma was an amazing cook but could only bake TWO thing that were edible.
Invest in a slow cooker, it can become your lifelong friend, I have a West Bend like this one, actually I have two of them and you will be surprised what you can make in them. Also, get yourself a good slow cooker cook book, just remember a recipe is a guideline, you can always tweak the recipe to your personal tastes.
Something else to remember: even those of us who have been cooking for many years still have failures and it is not a big deal, you just toss what you ended up with and make something else. A few weeks ago I tried a new spinach and artichoke dip recipe and it was a disaster so that was NOT served to our guests and my neighbor who is an excellent cook made muffins on Wednesday and they were not so good but the birds and squirrels thought they were delicious.
eh, loosen up, a lot of people really cannot cook that well so it is really not a big deal and you may be pleasantly surprised at how close you and his Mother and sisters can become when you ask her to help you learn some cooking techniques. The Grandmother that could not cook could bake like you would not believe and my other Grandma was an amazing cook but could only bake TWO thing that were edible.
Invest in a slow cooker, it can become your lifelong friend, I have a West Bend like this one, actually I have two of them and you will be surprised what you can make in them. Also, get yourself a good slow cooker cook book, just remember a recipe is a guideline, you can always tweak the recipe to your personal tastes.
OP, that is a super easy recipe. You pretty much just open cans, rinse the beans, put everything in the slow cooker, stir, and leave it alone. I add a dash of cayenne (just a dash because cayenne gets hotter the longer it cooks) and it's totally nomlicious.
pfft, I'm male and sure can cook..... but let me just say if you can cook in the bedroom department your all good''lol..
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