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Sorry things didn't work out for you. Don't give up. I can't believe there are not a bunch of guys that would be interested in you, especially the gear head, engine, video game types. Keep in mind you only need one, you don't need 1/2 the men in the city chasing you. Someone will come along and be crazy about you. Same thing happened to my wife. She dated several guys, almost engaged to one, but never really clicked with one she liked. She got chased by some real losers. We met, and I thought she was great. I couldn't believe no one else had snatched up this beautiful woman. She's still mine and we still get along great. Its worth waiting for the right one, but its not easy.
Did you ever think of getting in with the racing people? Tons of guys. Keep your tickets to the Star Trek convention. But with that group, you may have to make the first move.
But that's the thing I don't think most men want to date women who act like dudes, they want to date feminine women.
I'm super bummed about it, and who else would I talk to but my CD buddies
Bought a new outfit, lookin super cute, went out to the park to meet the guy I've been seeing and he told me that he just wasn't feeling it like he had with previous girlfriends. He said he had a TON of fun with me, but saw me as more of a 'friend' than a 'girlfriend'. I told him to be brutally honest with me and he said it was because we split the tab and that I suggested dates instead of letting him do it.
I'm way more bummed about this than I thought I would be but I realized that I have ZERO idea of what to do with guys. I told him that it sucks that I have to hide all of my interests (cars, video games etc.) just to get guys to be interested in me. He agreed and said that must 'suck' to have to do that.
So...guess I'm super single again
Ah, my friend. I'm sorry to hear that.
But yep. Contrary to what the vocal C-D miserati like to blather on about--why can't women ask men out, why can't women pay, why can't women romance men, why-why-whyyyyyynnnnne--I will say to my dying day that many, if not most, if not the vast majority, of men enjoy a little chase and will not appreciate when a woman makes dating too easy for them. Not talking about sex, but about paying and taking the lead in suggesting dates in the beginning.
Honestly? I think a gal should just enjoy it when a guy takes the lead, because you'll be hearing "so what do you want to do tonight/tomorrow/this weekend" like a mantra soon enough anyway!
I think you have a built in defensive mechanism that makes it hard for people to get close to you. You're a tough girl who is deeply vulnerable.
Until you learn to let other people take the lead in something, till you allow yourself to gracefully accept kindness, till you accept yourself without blaming your failures on your height, your scars, your tattoos, your choice of whatever it is that makes you stand out and protects you, men and other women will have a hard time wanting to get close to you.
Doesn't mean you have to change who you are, or does it?
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
11,078 posts, read 15,104,879 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey
I'm super bummed about it, and who else would I talk to but my CD buddies
Bought a new outfit, lookin super cute, went out to the park to meet the guy I've been seeing and he told me that he just wasn't feeling it like he had with previous girlfriends. He said he had a TON of fun with me, but saw me as more of a 'friend' than a 'girlfriend'. I told him to be brutally honest with me and he said it was because we split the tab and that I suggested dates instead of letting him do it.
I'm way more bummed about this than I thought I would be but I realized that I have ZERO idea of what to do with guys. I told him that it sucks that I have to hide all of my interests (cars, video games etc.) just to get guys to be interested in me. He agreed and said that must 'suck' to have to do that.
So...guess I'm super single again
I'm very sorry to hear this as I had just read where you had posted in another thread about how happy you were with him
You seem to be level headed as hell and the fact that you love cars would make it seem as if you would have guys falling all over you anyway...woman who loves cars= kick ass
You shouldn't have to hide ANY interest/hobby you enjoy and I lived through a spell like that with a woman who hated guitar players ...its not a good way to live at all.
But that's the thing I don't think most men want to date women who act like dudes, they want to date feminine women.
There are all kinds of guys out there with all kinds of preferences. They don't all want to date feminine women. Life isn't a cliche. Life is full of variety. Take a look around you. Guys don't have to be macho in order to attract women, and women don't have to be feminine in order to find someone.
There are all kinds of guys out there with all kinds of preferences. They don't all want to date feminine women. Life isn't a cliche. Life is full of variety. Take a look around you. Guys don't have to be macho in order to attract women, and women don't have to be feminine in order to find someone.
But that just brings up the verkakte definition of what "feminine" is. Being feminine isn't being a mousy doormat. I'm about to go outside and do a bunch of yardwork. Is me pushing a lawnmower not feminine? Or am I a woman doing some chores?
I'm sad for JJ, because she deserves a great guy, and despite some missteps, she's remaining optimistic. Her experience is showing the mixed signals that modern women get--for all the complaining about wanting financial equality and hating drama, it's the drama and the chivalry that attracts the guys.
I think at most peoples core is a desire to be with someone, I don't think being single is desirable for most people. It does not have anything to do with self validation.
Agreed people need to admit and know what they want. Most people want partners. Just continue to be yourself and the right guy will find you. (I know you want a partner, I'm just commenting on the "I don't need a man crowd" It's mostly BS, most people want to be with someone.)
Last edited by lastwomanstanding; 05-26-2013 at 08:46 AM..
I told him to be brutally honest with me and he said it was because we split the tab and that I suggested dates instead of letting him do it.
What???
This makes no sense at all. I don't believe his explanation for a minute. I have a feeling this guy isn't telling you the whole truth. If you put a gun to my head and made me guess what was really going on, I'd say there was a third person involved.
He's a creep. You can do better.
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