Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This is the first time I've done something like this, so forgive me if I make a mistake somewhere along the line. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for one year as of June 1 and we'll be going to college in mid August. Sounds fine right?Nope, she'll be going to college 12 hours away from me, and she is a runner so she'll likely be staying at the college over the smaller breaks to run. This leaves us little time to actually spend together during the school year. The way I've looked at it, we'll essentially have two or three times during the year together. But there is a catch to that too, her parents have been talking about going straight to their vacation home during some of those breaks rather than going home. We text for hours everyday and trust one another so I don't think being away from each other for a few weeks would be a problem, but this seems almost insurmountable. I DON'T want to break up with her, I love her and don't want to go through breaking up with her when we might be able to tough it out. But she is unsure of whether it would put too much stress on us by not spending enough time together.
So my question to you is this: What do we do? Do we try to stay together? Do we break up? Do you know anyone who has done this? Is a relationship like that even realistic? Normally I can think about this kind of thing logically, but my thoughts are too clouded by emotions. I need someone on the outside to tell me what to do here, or at least give some insight.
You see how it goes AFTER college starts and you are 12 hours away. Honestly, you both should be so busy with your studies that this will be a non issue and if you really are meant to be together it will work out.
This is the first time I've done something like this, so forgive me if I make a mistake somewhere along the line. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for one year as of June 1 and we'll be going to college in mid August. Sounds fine right?Nope, she'll be going to college 12 hours away from me, and she is a runner so she'll likely be staying at the college over the smaller breaks to run. This leaves us little time to actually spend together during the school year. The way I've looked at it, we'll essentially have two or three times during the year together. But there is a catch to that too, her parents have been talking about going straight to their vacation home during some of those breaks rather than going home. We text for hours everyday and trust one another so I don't think being away from each other for a few weeks would be a problem, but this seems almost insurmountable. I DON'T want to break up with her, I love her and don't want to go through breaking up with her when we might be able to tough it out. But she is unsure of whether it would put too much stress on us by not spending enough time together.
So my question to you is this: What do we do? Do we try to stay together? Do we break up? Do you know anyone who has done this? Is a relationship like that even realistic? Normally I can think about this kind of thing logically, but my thoughts are too clouded by emotions. I need someone on the outside to tell me what to do here, or at least give some insight.
Look, there is no need to "do" anything until you are both comfortable with what you want to do. So don't rush to make any decisions right this minute.
Give it a shot if you want to try keeping things going, there is no harm in that.
BUT, you must be open to the reality of how difficult something like this is to actually accomplish for the long term, especially at your age, okay?
At some point, hard as it is to believe now, one or both of you are going to meet someone else in your daily life that you are very attracted to - THAT IS ONLY NATURAL and nothing to be worried about or ashamed of.
College is a great time in a young person's life - be open to all the fun and things you can learn when you get there!
And remember, if you and your girl are truly meant to be together - you will be. And no amount of worrying otherwise will change a thing.
Dude break up. Don't be that guy who wastes his college experience on a long distance GF who thinks about half as much as he does. If she is gone 4 years barely seeing you, I guarantee she will contemplate cheating. The girls with long distance BF were always the easiest ones
This is not an insult to you- just older/wiser than you are now....
College is there to give you a chance to make a difference in the community/world/other people.
Use college in every way that will make a difference. She will still be there in 4 years if you both are serious about education. Now is not the time to be listening to your lower brain. It will be worth it!
Break up until you are both finished with school, and see where you stand at that point. Ive been in your shoes, and wish I could have learned from someone elses mistakes.
Aw sweetie, I feel for you. She may be a great girl and you may have something special, but even the best relationships would have a hard time withstanding never seeing each other. You two may be victims of bad timing. College does that to young couples.
I think you two need to let each other go. It's not that you both can't be faithful, it's that you both will likely end up pretty miserable, missing each other. You can always agree to keep in contact as friends and talk again in person next summer, and if you're both still miserable apart you can always get back together.
It was hard enough for my ex and I to maintain a LDR -- in fact we even split up once for a few weeks -- when we were at college 90 minutes apart, much less 12 hours apart. As much as we were into each other, there's no way we would have tried a 12-hour long-distance relationship.
There are going to be a lot of temptations and a fairly high probability over the course of the next four years that one or both of you will eventually succumb to those temptations. Get your summer fun in and then make a clean break so that those "temptations" don't cause a lot of guilt and heartbreak later on.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
