Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If someone you're just getting to know is seeing other people, you most certainly WOULDN'T want him to keep that to himself. You'd want to know that he's still testing the waters with other prospects. You need to know what's going on, and it's to that person's credit that he's being transparent with you. Now you are in the position of deciding whether to discuss with him where he sees your relationship going, or discussing how you feel about him and to see if he reciprocates your feelings or if he says he's not ready to be exclusive yet, etc. It gives you all sorts of options. You can decide you don't want to pursue dating, etc. with this guy any more at all. But the tremendous favor he has done you is being honest so you know exactly where you stand. This puts the ball completely in your court. Which is a thing that rarely happens.
If you're trying to glean from his statement about dating others, whether or not he feels the same about you as you feel about him, you might come to the wrong conclusion. It might sound as though he's not as ready to be exclusive as you are, but you might be wrong. It's always best to ask, just have that conversation and see where he's at with this process you two are engaged in with each other.
No actually. What I'm asking is....if you didn't really like the person like that and want to remain casual then yeah you would tell them "yeah I'm dating others".
Yes. the person is not exactly trying to scare the other person away, they just want the other person to understand that what they have at that moment is casual, don't take it for more than that.
But if you were starting to like the person and think you want to be in a serious relationship in the future then you wouldn't tell them that you are also dating others in fear of pushing them away, no?
Your last point is very good, But how can you determine their "serious relationship" intentions, if they are not communicating them to you directly? Signs and signals aren't really very much good for this. Because they are often misread by someone who wants the serious relationship to happen between them. The person needs to state specifically that they are becoming serious about you, in some manner. And in my mind, serious means exclusive.
Thanks for the replies, but I think some people are kinda misunderstanding the question that I'm asking.
We all know that it's a possiblity that people are dating multiple people at the same time until they find the one that they are looking for.....(or whatever reason that they have).
My question is....if the person that you are dating (regardless if YOU want to be in a relationship with them or not in the future) willingly tells you that they are dating other people while dating you doesn't that mean that they are not into you like that?
@Op, why would you be interested in a liar? First off the fact that he didnt tell you that he was dating others when you startted dating him, tells you that he dosnt really care about your feelings? I mean jeez what would of happened if one day u were walking down the street and saw him with another girl? How would that make you feel? I Rest my case. Ya thats all fine and great that he stepped up and finally told you lol. And these are the men who are attractive? OMG will someone please just shoot me and get it over with. It just to painful. Young lady you sound like ur a catch? Dont settle for the loser with the pretty face. And go talk to your older brother.
That person likes you and wants to keep dating you, but has no intentions of stop dating the other people. So you don't want to get serious feelings for someone like this.
That admittance "I'm dating other people" is kind of like a loophole/escape clause they're using to prove to themselves they're not cheats. This is usually said when they have made a commitment or is considering making a "commitment" to one of the others. They want to enjoy you, but they're not into you like THAT. Don't tell yourself you can make yourself THE ONE to them. It won't work. They already have their dating life arranged the way they want, you merely represent an interesting addition to the collection. Nothing more.
I wouldn't analyse their reasons for saying it. I consider openness and honesty to be normal, nothing special.
What matters is, is this what you want? You can either reply, 'Oh, cool, I'll do that too,' or, 'Oh, gosh, I don't think I want to see you if you are not into being exclusive.'
If someone you're just getting to know is seeing other people, you most certainly WOULDN'T want him to keep that to himself.
Most people do keep it to themselves, though, in my experience. It's considered rude and tacky to talk about dates with other people. Usually if asked about a specific evening people will just say they were "out" or "out with a friend," or something similarly vague, and the other person knows not to ask details unless they are offered.
But then I'm also used to it being assumed people are dating others until there's a discussion of exclusivity, so it doesn't need to be said. It sounds like the OP is used to this norm, also, which is why she's perplexed by the fact that he brought it up. I maintain that he just has a poor filter or poor manners.
Last edited by nearnorth; 05-29-2013 at 01:02 PM..
Thanks for the replies, but I think some people are kinda misunderstanding the question that I'm asking.
We all know that it's a possiblity that people are dating multiple people at the same time until they find the one that they are looking for.....(or whatever reason that they have).
My question is....if the person that you are dating (regardless if YOU want to be in a relationship with them or not in the future) willingly tells you that they are dating other people while dating you doesn't that mean that they are not into you like that?
I don't think we're misunderstanding the question. We just can't know how "into you" he is. Only he knows that.
There's a tactful way to broach the subject, but if it was early days in the relationship I wouldn't have a problem with it. And if you met the person on an online dating site, you can pretty much assume that he is dating other people.
Probably that they're not that "into" anyone-yet. Most likely they aren't having sex with anyone. Then again, they could be sleeping with everyone. But I doubt it. Atleast she told you. She should have told you from the start, but probably knew that by doing so you wouldn't have gone out with her. It's unfair but it is what it is. Atleast you know now and can do something about it..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
? How would that make you feel? I Rest my case. Ya thats all fine and great that he stepped up and finally told you lol. And these are the men who are attractive? OMG will someone please just shoot me and get it over with
. It just to painful. Young lady you sound like ur a catch? Dont settle for the loser with the pretty face. And go talk to your older brother.
