Does my ex still love me? (boyfriend, how to, women, cheating)

[Heartbreaks]

Guys,

Would you chase after a girl you love after she break up with you?

I broke up with my boyfriend because I felt that he doesn't have enough time for me and he didn't chase after me.
But he told me that he had a great time with me and wished that I could find a better guy than him and apologized for neglecting me.

Did he even love me? If he did, I'm willing to give it a go again. We really had a great time together. But if he didn't and is unsure, I don't want to waste my time.

My friend's ex boyfriend called her everyday when they broke up and I can tell he loved her. I don't know how to tell if my boyfriend loved me because he was calm.

So guys, if you really love a girl....would you try to get her back when she breaks up with you? Or would you let go like my boyfriend did?

[sophialee]

Let him go

[dr74]

Originally Posted by Heartbreaks

Guys,

Would you chase after a girl you love after she break up with you?

I broke up with my boyfriend because I felt that he doesn't have enough time for me and he didn't chase after me.
But he told me that he had a great time with me and wished that I could find a better guy than him and apologized for neglecting me.

Did he even love me? If he did, I'm willing to give it a go again. We really had a great time together. But if he didn't and is unsure, I don't want to waste my time.

My friend's ex boyfriend called her everyday when they broke up and I can tell he loved her. I don't know how to tell if my boyfriend loved me because he was calm.

So guys, if you really love a girl....would you try to get her back when she breaks up with you? Or would you let go like my boyfriend did?

This is one of those times where one should kick themselves in the arse..for stating things they did not mean or jumping the gun instead of “Talking things out.”

Since you did not leave too much to “go on”
1. Duration of the relationship
2. Examples of how you determined that he did not have “enough” time for you it makes it difficult to comment or give advice…hence my statement above…

Everyone is different in thought processes, what they think a “good” relationship looks like, things they feel they need to be in a “good relationship”

The response you got? Seems to be a mature one giving that again you did not supply a lot of facts…

He may very well could have had deep feelings for you, in fact he may still care for you HOWEVER he “May” have realized that making you “Happy” was something that was out of his reach, something that he could not give of himself because this is not who he “Is”

And while he may care for you even dare I say “love” realizes that this is not what he is looking for in a woman and decided to bow out gracefully.

He seemed gracious to me that even though “YOU” BROKE IT OFF with him? He still was civil towards you and stated he was sorry he could not give you what you wanted and wished you nothing but the best with the next person….
Perhaps he was not looking for that serious of relationship..but again for the third time you did not leave much to go on…the variables are endless…


Hope this helps

[straight shooter]

Originally Posted by dr74

This is one of those times where one should kick themselves in the arse..for stating things they did not mean or jumping the gun instead of “Talking things out.”

Since you did not leave too much to “go on”
1. Duration of the relationship
2. Examples of how you determined that he did not have “enough” time for you it makes it difficult to comment or give advice…hence my statement above…

Everyone is different in thought processes, what they think a “good” relationship looks like, things they feel they need to be in a “good relationship”

The response you got? Seems to be a mature one giving that again you did not supply a lot of facts…

He may very well could have had deep feelings for you, in fact he may still care for you HOWEVER he “May” have realized that making you “Happy” was something that was out of his reach, something that he could not give of himself because this is not who he “Is”

And while he may care for you even dare I say “love” realizes that this is not what he is looking for in a woman and decided to bow out gracefully.

He seemed gracious to me that even though “YOU” BROKE IT OFF with him? He still was civil towards you and stated he was sorry he could not give you what you wanted and wished you nothing but the best with the next person….
Perhaps he was not looking for that serious of relationship..but again for the third time you did not leave much to go on…the variables are endless…


Hope this helps

I agree with the above comments. You should have talked things over before deciding to break things off.

You should be chasing him if you are still interested, you were the one that broke it off. He may very well still want you but respects your decision and doesn't want to be a pest by chasing you. It seems he was very classy and courteous in how he handled the situation.

[dejaentendu19]

Relationships are not a game. If you had communicated properly you wouldn't need to ask a forum. If he would not communicate back then he is not worthy of a relationship with you.

[Heartbreaks]

Originally Posted by dr74

This is one of those times where one should kick themselves in the arse..for stating things they did not mean or jumping the gun instead of “Talking things out.”

Since you did not leave too much to “go on”
1. Duration of the relationship
2. Examples of how you determined that he did not have “enough” time for you it makes it difficult to comment or give advice…hence my statement above…

Everyone is different in thought processes, what they think a “good” relationship looks like, things they feel they need to be in a “good relationship”

The response you got? Seems to be a mature one giving that again you did not supply a lot of facts…

He may very well could have had deep feelings for you, in fact he may still care for you HOWEVER he “May” have realized that making you “Happy” was something that was out of his reach, something that he could not give of himself because this is not who he “Is”

And while he may care for you even dare I say “love” realizes that this is not what he is looking for in a woman and decided to bow out gracefully.

He seemed gracious to me that even though “YOU” BROKE IT OFF with him? He still was civil towards you and stated he was sorry he could not give you what you wanted and wished you nothing but the best with the next person….
Perhaps he was not looking for that serious of relationship..but again for the third time you did not leave much to go on…the variables are endless…


Hope this helps

Thanks! Let me get into more details then. He is 4 years my junior and he preparing for his graduation while I am still a freshmen. I would say that he is a very sweet and caring person, and that is why I don't know if his graciousness is a sign of him still loving me or is a sign that he is a very caring person, which he is throughout the whole relationship. I do think that he is serious about our relationship but he's been spending less time with me since he starts his internship.

[calnbs]

If he really loves you, he would come for you. He didn't, which means, he's okay with the break up. You weren't worth his time. Move on. Don't waste your love on someone who won't come for you.

[Jack D. Serrano]

Originally Posted by Heartbreaks

Guys,

Would you chase after a girl you love after she break up with you?

No.
Although many guys will.
Him chasing after you really tells you nothing about the situation or him (other than that he is willing to chase you).

I recommend that guys (ladies, too) avoid chasing after someone who has given you the cold shoulder - ESPECIALLY if you have strong feelings for them.

That person either has:
A) No respect for you (i.e. they want to manipulate you into chasing them)
B) They just aren't into you.

Continuing in either of those situations is a recipe for disappointment and frustration.
People are much better off simply moving forward and finding a partner who respects them AND is into them.

Originally Posted by Heartbreaks

I broke up with my boyfriend because I felt that he doesn't have enough time for me and he didn't chase after me.

If those are your qualifications for a guy, then you'll have to find a guy who matches that - not try to change one who isn't what you're looking for.

Some guys who love you will see you every day.
Some will see you once a week or once a month.
Some will chase you because they like you, some will chase you because they have no respect for you and just want another notch on their belt.
Some will avoid chasing you when they love you the most and they want to make sure you are into them as much as he is into you.

Originally Posted by Heartbreaks

But he told me that he had a great time with me and wished that I could find a better guy than him and apologized for neglecting me.

Did he even love me? If he did, I'm willing to give it a go again. We really had a great time together. But if he didn't and is unsure, I don't want to waste my time.

Read the book The 5 Love Languages for an insightful look at how different people communicate their love differently. (You could probably find a PDF of it online somewhere too I'm sure).

Originally Posted by Heartbreaks

My friend's ex boyfriend called her everyday when they broke up and I can tell he loved her. I don't know how to tell if my boyfriend loved me because he was calm.

It is impossible to know if he loved you simply by judging whether he called you all the time or told you he loved you.

Again, check out The 5 Love Languages.

Some women want a guy who loves them, regardless of how he shows it.
Some want a guy who loves them by doing certain things or behaving a certain way.

Originally Posted by Heartbreaks

So guys, if you really love a girl....would you try to get her back when she breaks up with you? Or would you let go like my boyfriend did?

Some guys will continue chasing her because they were emotionally involved.
Many guys will simply let go - SPECIFICALLY because they were emotionally involved.

The line of thinking can go something like this (feel free to replace the female pronoun with a male pronoun, as it will still be valid):

"Her breaking up with me is a reflection of her poor judgement, lack of respect for me, or demonstrated direct disinterest in me. I don't want a relationship with a woman who has poor judgement, does not respect me, or who demonstrates direct disinterest in me. My best option is to sever all ties to her so that the strong emotions that I felt towards her can heal in a direction that will lead towards more positive, more fruitful, more happy and much more mutually fulfilling relationships now and in the future."

Then again, maybe he was just never that into you in the first place and you read all the signs correctly.

-Jack

[angelinajolie]

Originally Posted by Heartbreaks

Guys,

Would you chase after a girl you love after she break up with you?

I broke up with my boyfriend because I felt that he doesn't have enough time for me and he didn't chase after me.
But he told me that he had a great time with me and wished that I could find a better guy than him and apologized for neglecting me.

Did he even love me? If he did, I'm willing to give it a go again. We really had a great time together. But if he didn't and is unsure, I don't want to waste my time.

My friend's ex boyfriend called her everyday when they broke up and I can tell he loved her. I don't know how to tell if my boyfriend loved me because he was calm.

So guys, if you really love a girl....would you try to get her back when she breaks up with you? Or would you let go like my boyfriend did?

You broke up with him right? Now you wonder if he still love u? Why you broke up with him in first place? Being needy? Instead of being an understanding/supportive gf because you know the reason why he has no time for you is his internship you create your own drama/problem?

I can understand if u broke up with him coz he was out getting drunk/cheating on you but no. He is just preparing himself for his future possibly your future together by gaining job experience.

I can say though he is a nice guy. But if he stop contacting altogether you better move on. That's what you get for being selfish and needy, deal with it.

[OptimusPrime69]

U just straight up broke up with him because "you felt" that he didn't have anough time for u?

Ummm, why did u 2 not talk about this prior to the break-up? That seemed like an awfully abrupt thing to do is jusy break up with someone becuse of what u felt.

No offense, but I can't help but think your boyfriend is prob better off without you. Now, you're the one wanting to crawl back to him after u broke up with him?

He didn't chase you. I think that says a lot.