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Yet, I must be feeling some guilt at the same time. At least I'm trying to get to the root of this and see if there is anyone that will decrease these urges or stop them.
You. *shrugs* Why get in a relationship if you know you're going to intentionally wander off? If you just want to play around then play around or at least be up front with your desires. People can't fill your emotional/psychological empty holes for you.
Some antidepressants will kill your libido stone dead and also stop you worrying about trivial bs.
I might concern this if it's going to cause issues in my relationship, leading to one day of me really wondering off.
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Originally Posted by cindersslipper
Actually it sounds more like the guys you are with...maybe they are the tv watching/masturbating types.
Well in the past sometimes I would stay at a bf's house for a couple days and at twice for a week. While I was ready all the time, every single day, they would get tired. One of my exes told ''But we already had sex yesterday late evening, again?'' and it was the morning. Assuming most guys have sex drives, mines must be worst than the average guy.
You. *shrugs* Why get in a relationship if you know you're going to intentionally wander off?
I thought this would get out of my system if the it's with the right guy and the sex is excellent. Like I stated, this happens to players when they're with the right woman and magically their non-stoppable sex urges greatly decreases and they just think about her and no one else. I thought at first it was about finding the right guy or maybe he was the issue. But now I know it's not that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Royalite
If you just want to play around then play around or at least be up front with your desires. People can't fill your emotional/psychological empty holes for you.
I was honest twice when I was single and both guys thought I was a freak and haven't heard from them. It's like I can't freely admit to this without being thought as a nutcase, a **** or a girl that suffered abuse or has low self-esteem. Yet, if it's a guy that has this issue, there is no such thing as ''Has he been abused nor ''Maybe he has mommy issues'' nonsense.
Without reading everything, what comes to mind is that you may not be suited for monogamy, yet feel guilty about it because you've been socialized to think it's the norm. If you suspect you may not want monogamy, I suggest you read "The Ethical Slvt" - it explores non-traditional relationships quite well, but perhaps from a slightly too positive perspective.
Wanting sex every day, or multiple times a day is normal. If you want orgasms more than 5 or 6 separate times in one day, that might be excessive (unless you are bipolar and in a hypomanic phase).
It's a myth that men have higher sex drives than women. The reality is that some men want sex once a month or less, and some women want it multiple times a day. And the other way around, too. It does sound like you and your bf don't have compatible sex drives.
I second Taoist's suggestion that you consider polyamory. The Ethical **** is a crappy book, in my opinion, though. Try Tristan Tamorino's Opening Up, or Franklin Veaux's website .
It just sounds like you have a very high sex drive and it governs a lot of your decisions, meaning the opportunity for sex often trumps all other considerations whether it is fidelity or safety. You obviously aren't good LTR material unless you can find a guy with a similar sex drive. Nature tends to have a way to eventually slow you down whether it's with pregnancy or disease so you have to be careful.
I know what I'm about to say sounds lame but this is my 3rd relationship and whenever my bf's is not around, I tend to distract myself by talking to someone else or flirting online, etc. It has nothing to do with low self-esteem nor family issues. I have wonderful parents and don't know of anyone that attempt to go off while in a relationship or marriage.
About two months ago, I've been talking to this guy (who at the same time is engaged) for some time. Most of the conversation was based on emotions and telling each other deep secrets. We were set to meet each other and go further. But I got a message from him saying how we shouldn't speak anyone and that he can't hurt his fiancee. There was another time where it was also the guy who stopped things too.
Technically I haven't cheated but I feel like crap because it wasn't me who stopped it but it was always because of either it something happened and it never goes further, I don't like the guy too much, not wanting to get caught, the guy stops it or my friend pulls me away (like the time I was dancing at a club with another guy and the conversation started to get deeper).
This has been happening on every single relationship, even with my first bf. My parents disliked my first because they still think that he took my v-card but what they don't know is it was me who initiated sex on the 2nd month (I literally got on top of him) and the main reason hasn't purely out of love but curiosity and getting turned on. After dating him for about 7 months, I got bored, my eyes started wondering about what it's like being with someone else but I dumped him.
I don't really know what's wrong with me. It's like in my mind if an opportunity show up, I wonder ''What it would be like'' but something always happens and it never goes further. Is it my age? I'm 23 years old.
Technically I haven't cheated but I feel like crap because it wasn't me who stopped it but it was always because of either it something happened and it never goes further.
This stood out the most. I'm 25 years old and do in some ways know your feeling.
That being said, in my opinion, something you would not do or say in front of your bf/gf is cheating. Or at least a lower level in it.
You are clearly developing some "type" of feelings for these people you talk to. There is more types of cheating than just physical.
You need to get out of this relationship before your bf catches you and is really hurt by him. I was cheated on terribly when I was 19 and didn't have a serious relationship for over 3 years after that. I was hurt so bad I took it out on other women. I would lead them on, sleep with them, and never commit. Could not enter into another serious relationship because I was so devastated it could happen again.
If not for yourself, do it for him and what it could do to him so long down the road from now.
I was planning to and I will but for sure he's going to get hurt. He doesn't know I'm like this.
It's good but at times not as I expected, which I end up masturbating and in order to do that I have to watch some porn scene or read a sex novel (if I tried alone just like that it doesn't work). It gets even more frustrating to me if he's not there with me, even if it's only a day of not seeing me.
I think this is a troll.
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