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I know what I'm about to say sounds lame but this is my 3rd relationship and whenever my bf's is not around, I tend to distract myself by talking to someone else or flirting online, etc. It has nothing to do with low self-esteem nor family issues. I have wonderful parents and don't know of anyone that attempt to go off while in a relationship or marriage.
About two months ago, I've been talking to this guy (who at the same time is engaged) for some time. Most of the conversation was based on emotions and telling each other deep secrets. We were set to meet each other and go further. But I got a message from him saying how we shouldn't speak anyone and that he can't hurt his fiancee. There was another time where it was also the guy who stopped things too.
Technically I haven't cheated but I feel like crap because it wasn't me who stopped it but it was always because of either it something happened and it never goes further, I don't like the guy too much, not wanting to get caught, the guy stops it or my friend pulls me away (like the time I was dancing at a club with another guy and the conversation started to get deeper).
This has been happening on every single relationship, even with my first bf. My parents disliked my first because they still think that he took my v-card but what they don't know is it was me who initiated sex on the 2nd month (I literally got on top of him) and the main reason hasn't purely out of love but curiosity and getting turned on. After dating him for about 7 months, I got bored, my eyes started wondering about what it's like being with someone else but I dumped him.
I don't really know what's wrong with me. It's like in my mind if an opportunity show up, I wonder ''What it would be like'' but something always happens and it never goes further. Is it my age? I'm 23 years old.
Even when I was a virgin, I wasn't exactly the innocent, next door girl. I already had that flirting nature and wondering eyes thing. I don't really have any deep feelings for my first and wasn't affected when breaking up.
Thing is sometimes I do feel guilty for acting like that but it's like these urges that seem hard to control. If I were to cheat, it would be for no good reason but probably selfishness and curiosity; in other words cheat to cheat. I'm trying to stop but don't know what's causing this and again it's not self-esteem nor daddy issues like some people tend to claim. I have never suffer from depression and have a 3.4 college GPA.
Like most young shallow naiev twenty something women, you dont know what you want. Keep exploring.
Though I keep wondering where is this coming from. This flirtious nature and urges started increasing after graduating from HS. I had some while in HS but not as much as now.
Why are you in a relationship? If what you want is to explore with a bunch of different partners, why not do that?
Some players and known studs change very fast when they the love the woman so much. I figure this same thing would happened to me. I love my current bf but nothing still no result. Not even loving him is erasing my wondering, sexual urges.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
You also might ask yourself if you find the idea of settling down with one guy frightening, and if so, why?
Maybe. I think it's the whole idea that new opportunities can show up any momento.
I think you should tell bf what you have said here, and then go out and explore.
I was planning to and I will but for sure he's going to get hurt. He doesn't know I'm like this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
But, how is the sex with the bf? Lack of satisfaction could be a factor.
It's good but at times not as I expected, which I end up masturbating and in order to do that I have to watch some porn scene or read a sex novel (if I tried alone just like that it doesn't work). It gets even more frustrating to me if he's not there with me, even if it's only a day of not seeing me.
Though I keep wondering where is this coming from. This flirtious nature and urges started increasing after graduating from HS. I had some while in HS but not as much as now.
They are called hormones and they will bother you on and off until menopause. Once menopause arrives you get more like a man, so your thoughts are more engaged with watching tv and masturbation, than love and romance.
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
11,078 posts, read 15,080,865 times
Reputation: 3937
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper
They are called hormones and they will bother you on and off until menopause. Once menopause arrives you get more like a man, so your thoughts are more engaged with watching tv and masturbation, than love and romance.
It's very restful and much more satisfying.
L..m..a..o
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