Everyone seems to be "settling" (older, attractive, percentage)
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I think as people get older they relax their "standards"... is all I can assume....... musical chairs.... people don't wanna get left without a chair.... I guess....
I agree, I do see that
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Originally Posted by Raena77
Nah. That's what you see. I see someone putting up with the other's crap. Lol
Thats inevitable lol in any LTR
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Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy
But in a certain sense, everyone has to settle. They have to settle because the fact is, no two people are ever perfectly right for each other. No two people are ever perfectly compatible. Everyone wants The One. Well, guess what? The One is a myth. The One is a lie. The One does not exist. Even the people we love the most are going to anger, frustrate and disappoint us at times. They are going to have baggage.
Lol this is really good
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Originally Posted by calicali01
Sometimes you meet people who just fit right into your world regardless of whatever problem that they may have. I know for me, the only woman who really rocked my boat was a gorgeous mix race chick that had a cocaine problem and lived the crazy fast life. I was her "ground wire" so we complemented each other...
As a matter of fact, sometimes it's all those issues and baggage that makes a person appealing sometimes...
And this...reminds me of how I almost settled for someone who was also crazy, wild & toxic. Thanks for this reminder, lol
But in a certain sense, everyone has to settle. They have to settle because the fact is, no two people are ever perfectly right for each other. No two people are ever perfectly compatible. Everyone wants The One. Well, guess what? The One is a myth. The One is a lie. The One does not exist. Even the people we love the most are going to anger, frustrate and disappoint us at times. They are going to have baggage.
I agree. In other words OP, people grow up eventually. Maybe some of them are settling in the negative sense (out of desperation or fear or whatever), but maybe some just matured and decided that they loved so-and-so, they'd make a good mate and "standards" be damned. At some point, expecting perfection from a soul mate can seem just silly.
I *settled* for nearly 5 years on my last relationship and it nearly destroyed me. Bad depression, OCD problems, serious weight gain, lack of sex and intimacy and more all because I "settled" for a gal because I enjoyed how she treated me and made me feel, not for who she was. On top of that, I was never attracted to begin with, I was blinded by love and having someone in my life. Boy did I have serious emotional turmoil for a long time because I couldn't get sexually aroused by her naked body.
NOpe. I learned that lesson the very hard way. If I cant find my special geeky and cute asian girlfriend that i've wanted all my life, id rather enjoy my money and time as a bachelor, be somewhat lonely and die alone then settle and be unhappy ever again.
I've been running into people I haven't seen in years; after we catch up, I somehow wind up meeting or interacting with whoever they're involved with. What is seriously shocking to me, is how the people I know who are good looking, intelligent, etc. are settling for whatever/ whoever will have them- regardless of the baggage, or even major issues......
It seriously makes me wonder......
Is that what it's come to for some people?
My dear, you sound young and idealistic, which I won't hold against you - we all were at one point. Sometimes I still am at 32 years old. But here's a cold dose of reality: life is a continuous and unending exercise in settling. You settle on where to go to college, (not everyone can go to Harvard after all...), you settle on what job offer to accept, what house or apartment you can afford, what car to drive off the lot in, what to have for dinner that night, etc etc. Finding a partner is not much different. Everybody has constraints and budgets they have to work within. If everybody demanded a Prada wardrobe and an Aston Martin or nothing else, there would be a lot of people walking to work naked.
I think you missed the point Urban. Everyone has to make their own "cutoff" point of settle and being realistic. What one person sets as these guidelines is not applicable to another person, its just not possible.
For me, after finding out the hard way of settle for a woman that didn't meet my expectations and needs, i'd rather die single then "settle" for less then what I want for a woman. As far as job and living conditions, im a bit more realistic. My dating demands? Not so much. Don't agree with that? Not your life, choice or problem, so leave me alone.
My dear, you sound young and idealistic, which I won't hold against you - we all were at one point. Sometimes I still am at 32 years old. But here's a cold dose of reality: life is a continuous and unending exercise in settling. You settle on where to go to college, (not everyone can go to Harvard after all...), you settle on what job offer to accept, what house or apartment you can afford, what car to drive off the lot in, what to have for dinner that night, etc etc. Finding a partner is not much different. Everybody has constraints and budgets they have to work within. If everybody demanded a Prada wardrobe and an Aston Martin or nothing else, there would be a lot of people walking to work naked.
Well I am idealistic, I'll give you that much; I'm also older than you.
That being said obviously we all settle or compromise in some ways in life.
What I am seeing though is people who have up til now had standards.
Then suddenly they're w/ someone who's got a criminal record, or a drug problem, or can't work, etc.
So it's not all about looks. Where has the common sense gone?
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Originally Posted by AT-AT28
I think you missed the point Urban. Everyone has to make their own "cutoff" point of settle and being realistic. What one person sets as these guidelines is not applicable to another person, its just not possible.
For me, after finding out the hard way of settle for a woman that didn't meet my expectations and needs, i'd rather die single then "settle" for less then what I want for a woman. As far as job and living conditions, im a bit more realistic. My dating demands? Not so much. Don't agree with that? Not your life, choice or problem, so leave me alone.
I think lovesmountains also missed it, lol
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