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I agree with you a drug problem , a criminal record (which often ties in with) can't work those are not things I'd settle for. I'm over 32 also. Also not good are drinkers , physical abusers and womanizers.
But in a certain sense, everyone has to settle. They have to settle because the fact is, no two people are ever perfectly right for each other. No two people are ever perfectly compatible. Everyone wants The One. Well, guess what? The One is a myth. The One is a lie. The One does not exist. Even the people we love the most are going to anger, frustrate and disappoint us at times. They are going to have baggage.
We should all just accept reality, give up, and deal with it!
Well I am idealistic, I'll give you that much; I'm also older than you.
That being said obviously we all settle or compromise in some ways in life.
What I am seeing though is people who have up til now had standards. Then suddenly they're w/ someone who's got a criminal record, or a drug problem, or can't work, etc.
So it's not all about looks. Where has the common sense gone?
I think lovesmountains also missed it, lol
Well, I have to say the people you are talking about have serious self esteem issues.
There are fundamental differences between compromising and settling.
Are you compromising for what you really want, or are you settling for what you think that you need? Settling is certainly the easier of the two roads in the short term.
I've been running into people I haven't seen in years; after we catch up, I somehow wind up meeting or interacting with whoever they're involved with. What is seriously shocking to me, is how the people I know who are good looking, intelligent, etc. are settling for whatever/ whoever will have them- regardless of the baggage, or even major issues......
It seriously makes me wonder......
Is that what it's come to for some people?
I believe so, yes. A lot of people settle for broken dreams. I think a lot of it has to do with social pressures, and allowing people to influence other people's perceptions of themselves in a negative way.
And, sometimes when there's a lack of looking inwards for insight, I think a lot of people will settle and blindly live life. But, some people are content with settling, which is perfectly okay if they are okay with being ok.
When you realized that you expectations were way out of whack and you pissed away several years of your life looking for someone who was not interested in you, I guess that's more of a compromise as I did not settle on other aspects. It does not matter how attractive you think these people are, if they were failing to get attention from the people that you thought they should be getting attention from then they had to do something or be ok being alone and some people are not ok being alone.
Maybe I'm not looking at it right, but the idea of settling doesn't make sense to me. It implies that the person who perceives him/herself as settling to be better than/more to offer than their mate and that's really not the case. I suppose people can have standards that exceed what they bring to the table, but I don't get that either.
People settle because they can't get what they really want and in their mind its better to be with someone you sorta kinda like then be alone.
A big percentage of the US population settles
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