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From what I can tell from your post, you really like this guy but you have been burned before so you are very risk adverse. My suggestion is you either go with your heart, cut loose the other guys you have stringing along as a safety net, free fall and hope you land on the next love in your life, or wait around for the one who can make you feel 100% safe and excited at the same time.
I *do* really like this guy, but, I feel like I need to be fair and give the other people I'm dating a chance as well. I haven't been on more than 2 dates with anyone besides the guy I'm talking about in this thread, so it's really to early to tell about the other men.
I'm not "stringing along" anyone, I've been very honest and open about my intentions. It's all men I've met from a dating site, so they know I'm dating others and I know that they are, too.
I *do* really like this guy, but, I feel like I need to be fair and give the other people I'm dating a chance as well. I haven't been on more than 2 dates with anyone besides the guy I'm talking about in this thread, so it's really to early to tell about the other men.
I'm not "stringing along" anyone, I've been very honest and open about my intentions. It's all men I've met from a dating site, so they know I'm dating others and I know that they are, too.
Fair? Are you really on The Bachelorette and you don't want the audience to hate you? Just go with the one you like and ditch anyone else who may be great guys but didn't come at the right time. Or do you subconsciously not want to commit so you tell yourself you are just being fair by dating all comers even though you found one you like?
Fair? Are you really on The Bachelorette and you don't want the audience to hate you? Just go with the one you like and ditch anyone else who may be great guys but didn't come at the right time. Or do you subconsciously not want to commit so you tell yourself you are just being fair by dating all comers even though you found one you like?
I mean, I've dated guys and found ones I thought were awesome to be bad fits and ones I were neutral about to great. You never know until you've actually been out with them a few times. I don't know about everyone else, but I can't make a judgment on someone I've only been on one date with. I just don't have enough information to do that.
Depends on the person. Some people don't like a lot of texting during the day (or just can't respond to lots of texts at work), some people like it; it's not necessarily gender-based.
You have to kind of go with the flow here. If you are the one initiating texting every single time it's a sign he's not really into texting.
You also don't have to "give other people a chance" if you're interested in seeing someone. I like keeping things casual in a new relationship for a bit, but after a while if we're both seeing other people still I'm going to assume it's not going to get serious.
It's not a contest. You shouldn't have to jump through hoops to try to make him like you better than the other women he's seeing. I understand dating multiple people and keeping your options open, but to me this is the problem with doing that - you can't really get to know someone because you're constantly wondering when you might be "let go" for someone else. I often found myself afraid to let my guard down with people I met online for fear that any moment I'd get dumped for someone else. Not that that doesn't happen in other scenarios, but it's more likely with online dating everyone is seeing multiple people.
Everyone has different preferences when it comes to how much and what method of communication they prefer. I think it would be hard to give a lot of attention to any one person when you're seeing 2 or 3 people.
Fair? Are you really on The Bachelorette and you don't want the audience to hate you? Just go with the one you like and ditch anyone else who may be great guys but didn't come at the right time. Or do you subconsciously not want to commit so you tell yourself you are just being fair by dating all comers even though you found one you like?
Amen Adhom. After 4 dates it must be pretty clear whether the OP likes this guy and wants to date him exclusively. OP: If you're keeping your options open why worry about texting etiquette at all. Seems you're stringing these guys along.
It's not a contest. You shouldn't have to jump through hoops to try to make him like you better than the other women he's seeing. I understand dating multiple people and keeping your options open, but to me this is the problem with doing that - you can't really get to know someone because you're constantly wondering when you might be "let go" for someone else. I often found myself afraid to let my guard down with people I met online for fear that any moment I'd get dumped for someone else. Not that that doesn't happen in other scenarios, but it's more likely with online dating everyone is seeing multiple people.
Everyone has different preferences when it comes to how much and what method of communication they prefer. I think it would be hard to give a lot of attention to any one person when you're seeing 2 or 3 people.
Here's the thing with me: I don't like dating multiple people. In the past I would find someone I was crazy about, or who I thought was a good match, and settle down with that person. But looking back, I think I wasn't looking hard enough to find the right person because none of the people I dated exclusively ended up being a good match, it's why I'm single today.
Right now specifically, I'm in a race against time. If I want to have my own biological children, I need to find someone to settle down with in the next year or so. If I don't, I may run out of time. The issue is, I don't want to settle down with just anyone but rather someone who is a good fit for me. I literally don't have the time to casually date just one person for 6 months and "see how it goes", if I want to be married and settled before trying to get pregnant. I would LOVE to have that kind of time, but I don't. So, in order to be as efficient as possible, I have to date multiple people at once. It sucks, but I don't really see any way around it given my end goals, I wish things were different.
I think I might start a thread about this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeekingWomanMyAge
Amen Adhom. After 4 dates it must be pretty clear whether the OP likes this guy and wants to date him exclusively. OP: If you're keeping your options open why worry about texting etiquette at all. Seems you're stringing these guys along.
Well, I wasn't asking *just* because of this guy, I was asking in general. I don't know him enough to know whether I want to date him exclusively.
And again, it's not "stringing" anyone along if you're being honest w everyone about your intentions, which I already explained several posts ago.
If this guy is conflicted about me vs the other people he's dating, do you think this kind of attention could set me apart in a good way. Like, "Hey, this girl is taking time to text hello to me", and that will give me an edge over my competition?
Lol...
I thought you were texting about who or which girl you were.
How much of yourself do you invest in texting? I can't think of a better low cost, superficial means of communication on which to build a relationship, except for the internet.
You get what you pay for.
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