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People just go to where life forces them too. Some people have one of 3 choices, be celibate, hire out all the time (which has alot of complications, affordibility, std's and finding one you like due to legal issues) or lowering standards.
What makes her not your type? race, looks (like piercings and tattoos), her profession? I think you need both attraction and great personality and somethings can be easily looked over (profession & race). If you don't think the attraction will ever be there don't lead her on. You may have to visit a new coffee shop though.
I have dated, been in r'ships with, and even married a guy that I wasn't physically attracted to in the beginning because I liked them as people. I thought it would change as I got to know them better. With a few, that was true, but in essence, the physical attraction never went beyond what it was in the first place. I refuse to waste my time (and theirs) dating people I'm not physically attracted to, because I know if the sex life starts to go, there won't be any passion to reignite. Can't reignite anything that wasn't there to begin with.
I will say this though. The guy in my life isn't my type. Body wise, he's my type. Everything else, he's not. But the difference is I was always attracted to his body, the rest grew on me. So there are instances where it's not instant attraction that played out well. And other times, like my marriage, where it lack of attraction played out very badly and ended in divorce (not the main reason, but it didn't help the situation at all).
You cant really tell if your attracted to someone until you've spent some time with them. Unless you are kinda repulsed by their appearance...attraction can grow over a nice conversation while learning about someone's drives and character. My advice is go on a date or two if its possible it will grow..if not maybe you make a new friend. I have dated very attractive men who after a date or two felt nothing going on there at all.....And also dated a few who I didn't feel immediate attraction. I married a man I didn't feel attracted to (appearance) ....but a strong attraction grew nonetheless....and I ended up seeing him as a very handsome man.
A woman that served me coffee at the coffee place I used to go to messaged me on a dating site and is trying to set something up, but uh... she's not my type. It would be nice if I got rid of my superficiality and was attracted to her, since she does have a nice personality. How do I do that?
You can.
You can turn yourself into anything you want if you really put your mind to it. You can be an asexual Buddhist Monk living in Tibet by Christmas. Do you want to is the question?
Since you are actively asking this question, I would say that you kind of want to.
For me, I don't even think about it. If a woman is not that physically attractive, I'll ask her out if she's cool and nice. If I can't deal with that in the future, then I deal with it. I've never had to deal with it. Most such women have flat out rejected me. I've been like this as long as I can remember. I'm not sure what came first, the chicken or the egg. Not to say I'm only like this because of my lack of success with women, but lets say if I looked like a male model, I'm pretty sure I would not be like this. Feel me?
I wouldn't call yourself superficial. Really, 99% of people are like that, if not higher. No physical attraction, dealbreaker. Personally, I would give her a chance, but that is just me.
A woman that served me coffee at the coffee place I used to go to messaged me on a dating site and is trying to set something up, but uh... she's not my type. It would be nice if I got rid of my superficiality and was attracted to her, since she does have a nice personality. How do I do that?
If you're not attracted to her, don't go out with her. Women shoot men down all the time. Sometimes mercilessly. Do not feel obligated to go out with someone you're not attracted to just because they asked.
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