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well available part is easy. You can ask them "are you single" before you ask them out
The hard part for guys is the interest part. Cold approaches are very very hard because any halfway decent looking girl has tons and tons of guys in her social circle trying to get after her. How in the world can you raise yourself above the 10 other guys in a 15-20 minute conversation?
Your issue is thinking that it's something that you have to specifically do to get women to give you a chance. If she's open to something and if she thinks you're cute, she knows right away. If she keeps talking to you and doesn't excuse herself and walk away, then you know all you need to know.
Cold approaches are very very hard because any halfway decent looking girl has tons and tons of guys in her social circle trying to get after her. How in the world can you raise yourself above the 10 other guys in a 15-20 minute conversation?
This is one of the biggest misconceptions preventing men and women from getting together. A lot of good-looking women don't have anyone approaching them, because (as we saw on a very recent thread on this topic) men tend to assume the good-looking ones are already taken, or they feel the women are "out of their league". Meanwhile, the women are wondering why guys never talk to them. You get women's attention by being interesting and/or funny. You get their attention by saying "hello" (or equivalent). It doesn't take much.
Another mistake men make is to not follow through on the signals a woman gives them when the guy does manage to start a convo. She may be smiling, making eye contact, and participating enthusiastically in the conversation, but some guys are so discouraged about the process in general, or are so lacking in confidence, they miss the signals and walk away. Once you make the sales pitch, so to speak, and present yourself, you have to close the deal by asking if you could see her sometime, or asking for her number, or offering to buy her a coffee.
Your issue is thinking that it's something that you have to specifically do to get women to give you a chance. If she's open to something and if she thinks you're cute, she knows right away. If she keeps talking to you and doesn't excuse herself and walk away, then you know all you need to know.
That's nonsense. I've had plenty of interactions with women where we talked for quite a while, seemingly had a great time together and she turned me down when I tried to ask for a date
I used to be big believer in "if you feel that there's attraction, you should be good" but the last year or so, it's opened my eyes
When I go out somewhere, I rarely see men randomly approaching women. When I do see approaches, I see terrible rejections about 95% of the time, yet you still see couples left and right. I think I've seen very very very few men approach and be successful in my lifetime
So how do most men date? Do they all rely on meeting women through their social circle/work? What about the men who can't seem to find anybody in their social circle, what do they do?
Good question. I've seen the same things. I used to meet women through friends. Met my ex-wife online, but it was a message board similar to this one, not a dating site. I met one girlfriend through the guy who used to cut my hair. She and I dated for 2 years. Nowadays, I'm at a loss.
This is one of the biggest misconceptions preventing men and women from getting together. A lot of good-looking women don't have anyone approaching them, because (as we saw on a very recent thread on this topic) men tend to assume the good-looking ones are already taken, or they feel the women are "out of their league". Meanwhile, the women are wondering why guys never talk to them. You get women's attention by being interesting and/or funny. You get their attention by saying "hello" (or equivalent). It doesn't take much.
Maybe a certain percentage of cute women are like that but I find it very hard to believe that's true for a large number of them. I had very pretty sisters growing up and she had about 2 dozen men trying to get with her at all times and same thing was true with all her friends. Cold approach, I don't think you had any chance unless you were Brad Pitt
Another problem here is how every damn guy tries to go way way above his league so all the cute women are getting drowned with male attention all the time. I'm not out there trying to date a model - just somebody in my league
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Another mistake men make is to not follow through on the signals a woman gives them when the guy does manage to start a convo. She may be smiling, making eye contact, and participating enthusiastically in the conversation, but some guys are so discouraged about the process in general, or are so lacking in confidence, they miss the signals and walk away. Once you make the sales pitch, so to speak, and present yourself, you have to close the deal by asking if you could see her sometime, or asking for her number, or offering to buy her a coffee.
I don't believe in "signals". I've had plenty of times where I received exactly the signals you're talking about and was rejected pretty swiftly
I know guys who have some success in online dating. The catch is to be physically attractive, which these guys are.
That's pretty much all you gotta be to at least get dates in online dating.
I know a half-dozen couples who are married after meeting online, so at least some guys are successful. The last wedding I went to had table numbers based on important numbers to the couple. Table 4 was because he went on 4 match.com dates before meeting her. Table 87 was because she went on 87 dates before meeting him.
My marriage came from a cold approach. My ex, who was new in town, left his friends table and walked across an uncrowded room and asked to sit with me and my 2 friends (one of which was a male who liked me!) and then sat down and didn't say a word because he's SUPER quiet and reserved. It was hilarious but brave. We all traded numbers (group love) but he and I ended up dating right away. He asked me out and made all the first moves without a problem.
Anyone else I've dated I met through friends or family. I can envision meeting someone at work too.
A friend of mine, who is a minister, has arranged a retreat in September and she keeps telling me that she has all these men she wants to introduce me too so I can get some male friends, even though they all live far away. She's a big fan of making male friends and she thinks that's what I need now.
My marriage came from a cold approach. My ex, who was new in town, left his friends table and walked across and uncrowded room and asked to sit with me and my 2 friends (one of which was a male who liked me!) and then sat down and didn't say a word because he's SUPER quiet and reserved. It was hilarious but brave. We all traded numbers (group love) but he and I ended up dating right away.
That's absolutely mind blowing to me, that he had the balls to do that and even more mind blowing is that he was successful. Most guys say your only chance of being successful in a cold approach is to be the most charismatic man on the face of the earth, yet your ex was seemingly awkward and reserved
I know a half-dozen couples who are married after meeting online, so at least some guys are successful. The last wedding I went to had table numbers based on important numbers to the couple. Table 4 was because he went on 4 match.com dates before meeting her. Table 87 was because she went on 87 dates before meeting him.
I know 0 couples who met from online dating. I know guys who use dating sites to get sex from women, though.
Most married couples I know who are my age or younger married right out of high school.
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) and then sat down and didn't say a word because he's SUPER quiet and reserved. It was hilarious but brave. We all traded numbers (group love) but he and I ended up dating right away. He asked me out and made all the first moves without a problem.
