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But again, if a woman is attracted to you and wants to go out with you, she'll say yes when you ask. If she's got a boyfriend or is just making conversation, then she'll say no. There's no secret code that will get you a "yes" every time. The only way to know is to ask.
I agree with you but you were portraying it as if the girl stays to talk to you and seems to enjoy your company, she's attracted to you and it's just not true (not in all or most cases certainly)
You never really know. I got rejected 3 or 4 times in a month period this year while talking to girls who seemed to really like me (we had everything in common, we shared a lot of laughs, they were similar to me in appearance, etc...)
That's nonsense. I've had plenty of interactions with women where we talked for quite a while, seemingly had a great time together and she turned me down when I tried to ask for a date
I used to be big believer in "if you feel that there's attraction, you should be good" but the last year or so, it's opened my eyes...
I don't believe in "signals". I've had plenty of times where I received exactly the signals you're talking about and was rejected pretty swiftly
That means you misread the signals.
Look at it from the women's point of view. Women want sex as much as men do (and relationships). If she is attracted to you, there is almost nothing that will stop her from banging you. So if she is not banging you, that means she is not attracted. If you thought she was, you were wrong.
The key part here is: Use your mistakes to correct your sensors. If you thought she was attracted and she was not, learn from that. Adjust your reading of signals so that you will know next time. Learn to distinguish polite responses from intellectual interest from sexual interest.
Hell, one of my best friends is a 35 year old very good looking irish man who is a multi millionaire with an enormous house who looks like he could play in the national football league tomorrow and I've never seen him get approached anywhere
Women do approach good-looking guys. Look around the other threads, some guy just posted today or yesterday about getting approached by women. A couple of guys posted minutes ago about women bragging about their "conquests". Women approach. Maybe your friend doesn't recognize an approach for what it is, because women may be more subtle than guys.
I just want somebody who is similar to me as possible. I'm not asking for anything crazy
I've got friends who look like GQ models with football player bodies and they don't ever get approached when we go out. Women don't approach in general so I don't agree with you there
Hell, one of my best friends is a 35 year old very good looking irish man who is a multi millionaire with an enormous house who looks like he could play in the national football league tomorrow and I've never seen him get approached anywhere
Because it is not the norm for women to approach men in public
When I go out somewhere, I rarely see men randomly approaching women. When I do see approaches, I see terrible rejections about 95% of the time, yet you still see couples left and right. I think I've seen very very very few men approach and be successful in my lifetime
So how do most men date? Do they all rely on meeting women through their social circle/work? What about the men who can't seem to find anybody in their social circle, what do they do?
A good way is to let it be known to your circle of friends and family that you are looking. You'll be surprised how many people will want to fix you up and the quality is pretty good. Some people don't like this and I came to this strategy a little late but it works.
Online dating sites can help in terms of the mechanics of actually *getting* a prospective date in my experience, but getting from dating to a relationship itself can be the tricky thing...
As far as my social circle and friends and family, they have demonstrated repeatedly in the past that they could really care less about helping me in the romance dept., even when I very nicely and politely asked them for assistance. IMO, men are much better off relying on only themselves, and looking for women romantically using a lone wolf approach. The trick is to just keep trying until you can actually find a girl who says "Yes" to your approaches, instead of "No."
This is very odd. I have an aunt who has made it her mission to find me a suitable woman. The last girl she suggested I ended up dating for 10 months and was on the verge of proposing to until we broke up.
I don't know who the men are who have success with online dating. I've talked to so many guys who said online dating is almost hopeless. These are perfectly normal men with plenty of redeeming qualities
Online dating can work but I find most of the women are overweight, which is a turn off to me.
Reading signals is hard, but I can tell you right now, it's that much harder online. People lolly-gag, and play games and hide things and pretend online and it skews things because they can hide behind a screen. Words are just words. If you are picking up and interacting with women in any way online (includes Facebook!), you're making this harder for yourself. Being able to pick up on and read body language cues in person is key, and for the average guy/gal, the whole mating dance or most of it should be done in person in order to be able to pick up on these things.
Reading signals is hard, but I can tell you right now, it's that much harder online. People lolly-gag, and play games and hide things and pretend online and it skews things because they can hide behind a screen. Words are just words. If you are picking up and interacting with women in any way online (includes Facebook!), you're making this harder for yourself. Being able to pick up on and read body language cues in person is key, and for the average guy/gal, the whole mating dance or most of it should be done in person in order to be able to pick up on these things.
Outside of school, most of my interactions with people occurs online; So my signal reading skills never really manifested all that much. Definitely a work in progress.
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