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They think they can get what they want via manipulation. They think calling a woman a prude will cause her to deny it and give them what they want.
This has happened to me on several occasions. Men hit me up requesting a booty call, I shoot them down, and suddenly I'm the "rude prude woman who can't get any."
I don't know, but I don't like it when women paint me with the 'just after conquests' brush. How would they know what I'm after? Many women see what they want to see in men and hardly ever do they see that actual man. It's the same feeling I get when I'm on a date and it's like she's just dating her ex...except I'm his replacement because she got bored/lonely...
The reason he keeps contacting you is that you are on his (possibly long) list of girls to re-pester each time a relationship doesn't work out. When he's NOT writing you, he is dating another girl.
Listen, he has a porn past. You have to get past that.
So he's sexual...who isn't. Sounds like he was a perfect gentleman on your date. The next level to him was to be flirtatious. You are making it sound like he wants to use you. I don't think that is the case.
Don't you ever say sexual things when in the mood? Maybe he wants to see if you are compatible with him sexual. You turn away every time. Beats me why he keeps coming back. ( sorry, no pun intended there)
Whoa, hold up there killer!!! Don't be bashing me here, I'll be happy to elaborate on any item, all you gotta do is ask!
Size of family - so, when talking as we got to know each other, he told me how many siblings, brothers / sisters, etc he had just like I shared with him. Surface, get to know a person type talk.
"He'll do the 'leg' work?"
Back on the first 2 go arounds with him, I did all the arranging. So, the only reason why we met in person to begin with is because I told a date and time I would be passing through his city and he agreed to meet (I was driving through for business and met him as I went home on my way back). All attempts that I had made prior to that date for us to arrange a time to meet, the response I got back from his was an "oh, I'm not sure what my work schedule is" or "oh, I can let you know on such-n-such day" - he would not commit to anything, very evasive. The second time we were talking friendly, SAME STORY. I would suggest to get together for something fun or as a meet and greet, he couldn't commit to it. I finally told him if he had any desires or intentions to spend time with me, it would be up to him to make arrangements because I made those attempts and didn't get anywhere. So, now that we're however many months since the time we first met in person, if he wants to meet up again - making those arrangements are on his shoulders. I'm not wasting my time on someone that can't / won't make time for me.
"Blow him off??"
See above. Why wouldn't I blow him off if he's already blown me off? That is where I am able to use that term.
"Listen, he has a porn past. You have to get past that."
This actually doesn't bother me. If he is clean and tests clean, does not use it as an excuse to be a little man wh*** and cheat, it is a non-issue with me.
"Sexual vs. Flirtatious"
Ok, we ladies CAN flirt with the best of 'em, trust me. However, when you send an email that is non-sexual and receive back a pic showing full attention, I don't consider this 'flirting' with a gal. Or, when you talk on the phone to say good morning and he suddenly shifts conversation and asks you to get dirty so he can take care of morning wood while on the phone with you --- hold up, we were just talking about how you're doing on your job?! And, I'm sitting right in front of my kid, you can hear him in the background!
I don't know, but I don't like it when women paint me with the 'just after conquests' brush. How would they know what I'm after?
By the way you talk and carry yourself. Remember, the guy repeatedly got into sex talk, even early in the dating or chatting by phone process. That's a pretty good indication of what he's after.
By the way you talk and carry yourself. Remember, the guy repeatedly got into sex talk, even early in the dating or chatting by phone process. That's a pretty good indication of what he's after.
Exactly.
I have dated other men that may have hinted around dirty talk just to lightly flirt, but that is where it stopped; and then they went about very respectful topics.
I think the pervy talk is probably a good indicator. I know personally when I was single I never went there first, I would wait for a signal from her, but to keep going there.... that doesn't really bode well, and the fact that he drops off and then comes back, it's like maybe he is keep you on backburner... IDK... others have pretty much said the same thing already.
That's what it is sounding like.. Glad I put it down in writing so I could actually review what has transpired. Proud of myself for not indulging in his fantasies. I really will be surprised if I hear from him again any time soon, but I'm sure he'll surface again at some point.
OP can rant all she wants about how weird this guy is. If she wasn't semi interested she would have never responded to him the second time. The fact that she continues to talk to the guy when he contacts her tells me that in the back of her head she is definitely thinking about this dude.
Why do you ladies play so many games with yourselves. If you don't want the guy CUT HIM OFF and get on with your life.
Very difficult to fake the "good girl" role. If she wasn't sexually attracted to this guy this conversation wouldn't even be happening.
And FYI...Not all women are treated as booty calls. Only the select few that we do not see a future with.
OP can rant all she wants about how weird this guy is. If she wasn't semi interested she would have never responded to him the second time. The fact that she continues to talk to the guy when he contacts her tells me that in the back of her head she is definitely thinking about this dude.
Why do you ladies play so many games with yourselves. If you don't want the guy CUT HIM OFF and get on with your life.
Very difficult to fake the "good girl" role. If she wasn't sexually attracted to this guy this conversation wouldn't even be happening.
And FYI...Not all women are treated as booty calls. Only the select few that we do not see a future with.
My first post did state that I found him very attractive and felt chemistry with him. I did, by all means, admit to being interested in him.
However, by "thinking about him" - my interest in him is 'what I want him to be' vs. 'what he actually is' in the terms of who he is. And this awareness is what has kept me from acting on said interest.
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