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Old 07-10-2013, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,632,033 times
Reputation: 16395

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dave nz View Post
If you get her drunk theres always a chance
That sounds just a liiiittle bit rapey.
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Old 07-10-2013, 12:56 PM
 
3,452 posts, read 4,619,738 times
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Is there a difference between giving it up on the first date vs. making the guy wait until the 3rd or 4th?

Will it cause him to look at her any differently?
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Old 07-10-2013, 12:57 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
2,279 posts, read 4,745,007 times
Reputation: 4026
Yes, there are women who will not have sex on the first date, no matter what. (Note that I am distinguishing between dating and a woman who goes out with the intent of hooking up.)

I know some women who won't have sex with a guy until there's been some sort of discussion about sexual history/safer sex and/or have seen the results of a recent STD screen.
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Old 07-10-2013, 01:00 PM
 
1,340 posts, read 1,628,464 times
Reputation: 1166
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
That sounds just a liiiittle bit rapey.
You don't believe that lots of people deliberately get drunk as an excuse for a planned behavior that "they didn't plan to do"?
This includes sex but it's not limited to sex only at all.
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Old 07-10-2013, 01:03 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,797 posts, read 12,035,581 times
Reputation: 30435
Quote:
Originally Posted by usamathman View Post
Is there a difference between giving it up on the first date vs. making the guy wait until the 3rd or 4th?

Will it cause him to look at her any differently?
Is there a difference in waiting til the 3rd or 4th date instead of the 1st?

It's not "just sex" to many many people. It's allowing a person close to you in a very personal and private way, literally and figuratively stripping yourself bare and being completely exposed. I don't think there is any shame in not wanting to do this in front of a stranger, be made to feel like a conquest, or shamed for not doing so after a mere few hours in that stranger's presence.
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Old 07-10-2013, 01:16 PM
 
16,709 posts, read 19,416,576 times
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I'm in my 40s now and married, but I believe in having a good time, and that life is short.

If I went out with a guy and we really hit it off to the point we didn't want to leave each other's company? You're damn right I'd go home with him or invite him back to my place. But there had to be serious chemistry, and protection.
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Old 07-10-2013, 01:34 PM
 
1,340 posts, read 1,628,464 times
Reputation: 1166
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
Is there a difference in waiting til the 3rd or 4th date instead of the 1st?

It's not "just sex" to many many people. It's allowing a person close to you in a very personal and private way, literally and figuratively stripping yourself bare and being completely exposed. I don't think there is any shame in not wanting to do this in front of a stranger, be made to feel like a conquest, or shamed for not doing so after a mere few hours in that stranger's presence.
I frankly think there isn't much of a difference. There's a certain mentality that we're speaking and if someone doesn't do something "because of what the other side will say", then it's rather about faking their true personality.
People delay sex for two reasons:
1. because there are certain things that they think are needed before having sex with someone, out of personal conviction, the way they were taught and the way they reason in general (generally related to relationship)
2. because they want to show themselves in a different light so that they can manipulate the other person by displaying something they are not. And it's not much of a difference than when people lie about themselves, their feelings or their intentions, just to get laid.


Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
I'm in my 40s now and married, but I believe in having a good time, and that life is short.

If I went out with a guy and we really hit it off to the point we didn't want to leave each other's company? You're damn right I'd go home with him or invite him back to my place. But there had to be serious chemistry, and protection.
Yeah, that's the "you only live once" attitude characteristic for so many folks. Use your own advice and have sex with someone else, monogamy is boring and life is short. Remember, it's not cheating if you don't get caught. Not even if you father a child somewhere else with another woman. Your wife won't be angry about something she doesn't know, and there's no damage done, right.
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Old 07-10-2013, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,632,033 times
Reputation: 16395
Quote:
Originally Posted by nald View Post
You don't believe that lots of people deliberately get drunk as an excuse for a planned behavior that "they didn't plan to do"?
This includes sex but it's not limited to sex only at all.
Sure. But saying 'just get her drunk so she'll give in' is a bit rapey.
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Old 07-10-2013, 01:37 PM
 
Location: The Emerald City
1,065 posts, read 1,802,418 times
Reputation: 1104
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Sure. But saying 'just get her drunk so she'll give in' is a bit rapey.
This is dave NZ were are talking about, remember this jet.
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Old 07-10-2013, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,930 posts, read 11,727,236 times
Reputation: 13170
There are many, a majority, which grows smaller as one gets older.
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