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I do think sometimes men are a bit too thick to pick up on some hints....but you have to admit,,trying to read a woman is like trying to read chinese
maybe thats why lesbians have such success, they can read the language
So then WTF is it that motivates some women to approach guys that they do not know at all? Eye candy?
Perhaps looks. Other than that, I'm not really sure what motivates them. I don't try to put off any sort of vibes on purpose most of the time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009
Again, I am so incredibly dense when it comes to reading indirect signals of female interest that the girl I currently love more than anything had to tell me straight-out verbally, herself, that she liked me in a romantic way and wanted to be "more than friends"
Other than the girl I mentioned above who indicated her interest directly to me, all other signals put forth by women have been virtually unreadable to me, and/or non-existent...
Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman
I do think sometimes men are a bit too thick to pick up on some hints....but you have to admit,,trying to read a woman is like trying to read chinese
maybe thats why lesbians have such success, they can read the language
I think I can read people OK. There was one girl like this who was almost impossible to read. Very attractive, my type, and she seemed interested in me, but if she was, she wasn't the type of girl who was going to tell me. She knew she was attractive. I couldn't tell if she was outgoing or shy, which I needed to figure out to see how I was going to approach. I waited long enough and she never approached, so I knew I had to do it. Long story short I botched it and she gave me a generic, one-liner turn-down. Sometimes they might do that to crush your ego or test you, but once the one-liner turn-down happens, 99% of the time I'm not going to chase.
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Originally Posted by jillabean
Interesting thread. My way of approaching men is 1) look for a ring make sure there isn't one!
I am really bad at noticing a ring. It never crosses my mind to do that. I just go by their demeanor (I can, or at least think I can, tell when they get a bit squirrely around me). Some have been very direct.
A few examples:
1) A girl was with a bunch of her friends at the amusement park I worked at as a teenager. They come in, order, and walk out. Later on, they come back and they're doing the whole giggling thing. One of her friends comes up to me and says, "See that girl over there? She thinks you're cute." She proceeded to hand me a napkin with her friend's phone number on it. Complete strangers and I hadn't said a word to them other than them being customers.
2) Same time-frame: Co-worker situation. This girl worked there with her friend. General work environment, workin', talkin', etc. She says some flirty or innuendo stuff from time to time, nothing overt or particularly directed toward me. About a month or two later she has her friend ask me (for her) if I wanted to be "friends." Essentially, code for the fact that she wanted to date me.
3) At another job a couple of years later, there was this sandwich shop a few doors down. I would go in there all the time because they had good subs. One of the girls working there was kind of cute. I remember the first time I went in there I was "practicing" on her; talking/conversation and such, but not exactly flirting because I had a girlfriend at the time (see #2). I didn't really think much of it. She started coming in to the store more often to buy things for the sandwich shop. I don't remember the specifics, but she made mention about getting a job at my store and eventually went for an interview. One day I am sitting at home and the phone rings. It was the sandwich shop girl. When she asked me what I was up to, I responded, "My girlfriend is over." . I think I simply wasn't prepared for the call. Either my manager gave her my number or she got my number off the employee phone list in the back during the interview. I don't know, because I never gave her my number.
4) There was one situation where I was basically sexually harassed by a married coworker. It's the only time I felt uncomfortable to where I had to think about how I was going to handle it.
5) I mentioned this in another post on another thread on a different forum. My current job is the only one I've had that doesn't deal with the general public. However, I had a younger female who started hitting on me. I let it go on for awhile, not turning her down outright. I finally told her that I wasn't looking for a relationship. Her response: "Who said anything about a relationship?"
Been thinking about getting a side job that would put me in a position to meet women/the general public more often. Gotta get on that.
This thread is the counterpart. Men, what percentage of women who have approached you did you turn down? Also, share why you turned them down. Include online dating site contacts only if you identify them as such.
ive yet to have a woman approach me so its a mute question
This thread made me think a bit about my experiences.
Excluding online dating, I have turned down or ignored about 40-50%... that includes obvious signals/flirting (lots of women seem to consider such behavior as their own way of approaching). I didn't find them physically attractive, was seeing someone else, was on a break from dating, or just lazy/unadventurous. I've been hit on at the gym, at the grocery store, bars, clubs, pretty much everywhere I've been in Chicago, and even a freaking movie theater during the middle of a gory R-rated film.
Not many, but not enough. My ex asked me on our first date in high school. I shoulda said nooooooooooooo.
There were a few others. Of those who asked me on a date, probably 50% for one reason or another, usually because I was seeing someone else at the time.
So this thread suggests that the men who get approached turn down most women, and the rest do not get approached and/or admit to being bad with signals (which may read as rejection to the women giving them). Honestly, the woman's thread reads similarly and it all explains why few seem to approach/directly initiate romantic interest at all. It does make me wonder how people manage to get together at all.
So this thread suggests that the men who get approached turn down most women, and the rest do not get approached and/or admit to being bad with signals (which may read as rejection to the women giving them). Honestly, the woman's thread reads similarly and it all explains why few seem to approach/directly initiate romantic interest at all. It does make me wonder how people manage to get together at all.
You just need one, so I think that people that get approached frequently will turn down the majority since, desirable people will be taken most of their life.
Ones that aren't upper 8, 9 or 10 in my book I turn down. Recently I have a dose late 20 or early 30 not so good looking that think to use age advantage at me but it do not work.
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My way of approaching men is 1) look for a ring make sure there isn't one!
. I think I simply wasn't prepared for the call. Either my manager gave her my number or she got my number off the employee phone list in the back during the interview. I don't know, because I never gave her my number.
