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1)Why don't you leave your wife and family so that you can be truly "single"?
2)Do you feel you've cheated your children from your time (as you have used your free time for your own private fun)?
3)Where have you met all these women? Online?
4)What do you think will ultimately "cure" you of your serial cheating/sex addiction?
There is no sexual advice in there whatsoever. Yes, you have a problem.
It's funny that you see things the way that you do. Nope, no problems here! Anyway, I'm done giving you attention. This thread started out amusing but is getting boring and predictable.
1)Why don't you leave your wife and family so that you can be truly "single"?
Honestly? Fear of the unknown and disillusioned about the effects or non-effects this has had or will have on my children and my relationship with them. As obvious as it is to everyone else, it wasn't obvious to me that my lifestyle would effect them negatively. I realize now that this is absurd and it really worries me. In short, I believed that leaving my wife and kids would hurt them more than maintaining the lifestyle I was living. Like I stated, I now know that this is completely wrong.
2)Do you feel you've cheated your children from your time (as you have used your free time for your own private fun)?
Yes. Especially since I have daughters. My work has taken me away quite a bit from home, and it is usually during these times apart that I have spent time with other women. Truthfully though, looking back, I can think of many times I could have been home when I wasn't. I was asked by my counselor to try and calculate how much time it was, and when I came to a rough estimate, I was blown away. I had just never considered it before.
3)Where have you met all these women? Online?
Not as much online as you might think, although the online world does provide a large access. But most of them I have met randomly. At the supermarket, a work event, the gas station, hotel lobby, airport, wherever. I tend to be proactive when it comes to approaching strangers and striking conversation. Most of them women, of course.
4)What do you think will ultimately "cure" you of your serial cheating/sex addiction?
I really don't know to be honest. I just don't know. Although I will say that my therapist does not believe I am a sex addict. I've tried to explain that my actions have not been overtly sexual. Although sex does happen quite often, it isnt the sex that I was addicted to. Sex is quite easy to get, and that is not a challenge. Perhaps it was all the other aspects of courting a woman that excited me the most. The sex was just a derivative of other pursuits.
It's funny that you see things the way that you do. Nope, no problems here! Anyway, I'm done giving you attention. This thread started out amusing but is getting boring and predictable.
I'm no psychologist, but it seems to me that you have a serious sex addiction, mainly because you're not pursuing "friendships" with men. Even if you don't actually have sex with the women you meet, you're getting off on developing a thing with them.
Last questions. Is there anything your wife could have done to "cure" your addiction? I think the answer will be no, but I'm curious. Also, have you been sleeping with your wife concurrently with the 100s of others? Are you concerned about STDs?
I'm no psychologist, but it seems to me that you have a serious sex addiction, mainly because you're not pursuing "friendships" with men. Even if you don't actually have sex with the women you meet, you're getting off on developing a thing with them.
Last questions. Is there anything your wife could have done to "cure" your addiction? I think the answer will be no, but I'm curious. Also, have you been sleeping with your wife concurrently with the 100s of others? Are you concerned about STDs?
I actually walked in the first day meeting my therapist and said "I have a sex addiction", because that's what I thought it was. After a few sessions, I was told that I definitely do not have a sex addiction. Here's a clue as to why: When my wife is not around (ie, shes gone visiting family, or when I went to Texas for a month for training for my job, etc), I have nearly zero desire to cheat or have sex. I also do not masturbate very often, and porn is not interesting to me. Typically sex addicts cannot control other behaviors and are often tied to porn, masturbation, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, etc. I dont smoke, drink, do drugs, watch porn, or in any other area have lack of self control. In fact, even with sex, I have plenty of self control. All of my sexual activities outside of marriage have been completely calculated. Its not like I find myself in the wrong place at the wrong time and cant say no. The problem is that I predict the encounter and fulfill the reality. I meet a girl, design how our relationship is going to proceed, and then direct it to fulfillment. So its not about sex. Sex is just something that comes as a result of my other pursuits.
Yikes. I hope you get an STD screen. Good luck. Life lived openly and honestly feels REALLY good.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
I am tested often.
I am not a man who has ever bothered with easy women. If all I wanted was sex, I would go to a bar every friday night and pick up those women who are obviously looking for that, too. Most of the women I have been with I have courted over time. Most of them are very good, nice, honest girls who do not sleep around. I meet them, I court them, and in many cases I like them very much, and then I realize that I cannot give them what they want from me, as I have never been able to separate myself from my wife, and then I'm gone. Every woman Ive been with, Ive had a relationship with. I can count on one hand the amount of one night stands.
None of them knew I was married. I did tell a few that I was, and of course those ended promptly.
Basically I lived the life of a single man looking for companionship while being married. Two separate lives, both kept in secret from each other.
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