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She's legal so they can't do anything, and if they did fire you, you can probably sue the pants off of them. This is what you get dating some 22 years younger then you. Judgement, it's what people do instead of minding their own business.
I really appreciate this. Thanks!
But you know what, when I was mid-20s, I had a colleague who's my age and she's courting 18, 19 and I was one of them "judging" him. And where I live at that time, there's this teenage girl who I think is infatuated by me. She would knock on my door and would bring me compiled music CDs and other stuff, and here's the thing -- I find her very beautiful -- but I've not even had a slight thought of finding her as anything more than a cute neighbor who likes me.
As I mature and gotten wiser, I learned the error of my ways of judging people. I learned that love is defined not by anything else but emotions. Feelings.
Love is when two hearts, existing separately, yet beat as one.
It's not about intellectual equality, it's not about racial equality, it's not about class equality, it's not about gender inequality or anything else. It certainly is not about age.
One may argue, though, that the chances of success of a relationship is better when people are more equal and they become more compatible because of this equality, and I agree, but to me, it does not meant inequality is an outright incompatibility and an outright failure in relationship.
In fact, I'm trying to prove to myself that with our age gap, we can become even more compatible because there's so much to learn from both sides. We certainly both have willingness to learn from one another. Just yesterday she taught me the song Duncan Sheik's Half-Life. I've not even known the fella prior.
Im not sure about these young pinays, especially if you're an American. They often love your Visa status more. Tread carefully with this young beauty. suwertehin ka sana
I'm 40, she's just turned 18. We both love each other.
She's not here in US, but from my native country Philippines, so we just chat on internet. Ever since I migrated into US, I've not had any luck getting a girl. I dated 2x (1 American, 1 Asian) in 5 years but that's about it. In my vacation last year to Philippines, that's when I met her. She said she's in her 20s at the time and I said I'm close to 40. I tried to charm her. We continued communication while I'm back in US and she started to fall in love with me. Now we're both crazy with one another.
I'm concerned about how my colleagues at work will react if they learned my girlfriend is 18. My buddy at work is already teasing me as cradle snatcher. I have opened up this discussion to my GF so she knows what to expect but she is really being mature about it.
Any tips how to handle this situation? Any pitfalls? I've never had a GF 22 years younger than me and never dreamt someone will fall for me. I'm trying my darndest best to keep mum about it at work especially with the female colleagues as I'm afraid they will judge me negatively. I wish they knew I was just looking for a GF and not necessarily a teenager GF, and that I'm always sincere when I charm a girl.
Noooo... but life experience, or lack there of, speaks volumes.
Thanks for that. I agree and I do understand the argument of you and what Funymann is trying to say (though he expressed it incorrectly).
What Funymann is really trying to say is it is TRUE love but with higher age gap, there's less compatibility and hence, less success in the relationship. Hence the "move on" comment.
I think any relationship is risk all the same. Some more, some less, but in the end, it's the same risk with only two outcomes -- either success or fail.
But the plus side is, and in support of what dragon_fly stated, I believe my life experience will help a lot in guiding -- not controlling -- our relationship.
Like, before, I would be a very jealous type of person. Now, I'm mellow. I'm not as insecure before. If she finds someone else, I'm ok with it. I'm not saying I won't get hurt, but I acknowledge that failures is as much as part of relationships as success is.
The truth is, there is really no secret formula for a successful relationship. The only thing I can come closest to is mutual sacrifice. It's that ingredient that makes one think of the other person's feelings and welfare even before he/she thinks of self. But even this may not be enough due to people's being humans and thus having limitations. Limitations as to what they can sacrifice.
I'm taking our relationship with this in mind. There is no guarantee it will be successful or I won't get hurt in the end, but like the saying goes, you miss the opportunities you don't take. And no, it's no guarantee that relationships of those who listen to the same music and born of the same decade would be successful.
OP - the prevailing commentary on this thread merely suggests to be cautious... very cautious. There is nothing immoral or ridiculous about your relationship, regardless of how unusual it might be within the rubric of Western culture, which is the reference point for most of us. Merely, the operative issue is that love or no love, most relationships begin with a less than smitten assessment of pros and cons; or more colloquially, "What's in it for me"? It is worthwhile to mentally retrace the likely steps taken by one's partner, in arriving at her present state. "What's in it for her"? If the answer is ambiguous, that itself is not recipe for disaster, but it is cause for being wary and careful. That's all.
She's legal so they can't do anything, and if they did fire you, you can probably sue the pants off of them. This is what you get dating some 22 years younger then you. Judgement, it's what people do instead of minding their own business.
Good input. As much as it really is the OPs own business his coworkers are going to think hes a freak. Its just the way it is.
She wants to get out of the Philippines and have you help her get to the US.
She needs your support and money.
LOL, good one... LOL
I honestly wonder what these guys are thinking... most people like someone around their same age, I mean honestly WTF would an 18 yr old want with a 40 yr old dude.
I'm 43, and I'd want nothing to do with a 21 yr old, just to slide the numbers up a bit, let alone an 18 yr old child, cause that's basically what she is, she would have zero in common with a 40 yr old guy.
I mean, lets get past the obvious sex stuff, I mean once you get past all of the physical stuff that a 18 or 21 yr old brings to the table.... the brain isn't done cooking yet... you know what I mean????
I need more.... I need more than a young girl can give me.... No offense to the nice and lovely young ladies out in the world and surely they are fine with dealing with men their own age....
She wants to get out of the Philippines and have you help her get to the US.
She needs your support and money.
This.
That's all there is to it. If you told me this same story about a woman who was already a US citizen or even just living here already, I'd tell you to give it a try.
But, yeah. She wants you to bring her here. That's it.
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