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I notice so many men have trouble with this -- even men in their 60's!
If a woman is smiling, open, and friendly, they can't tell whether she is also interested in them romantically or not. (Usually they think she is, and then feel hurt when they turn out to be wrong.)
So, guys who have learned this skill, how did you do it? Help out your brothers .
Seriously?
Must be some very immature men (especially 60 year olds!) that get "hurt" just because signals are misread. If they do it's their problem and sadly they never grew up. They should be blowing it off and say it's their loss. Dwelling on a misread signal is beyond dumb. Nothing wrong with a woman just being friendly toward a man.
Adding - I could care less about any type of "skill" when it comes to this. This almost is saying most men are weak. Maybe that's true, I don't know and can't relate. I expect all people to just be themselves. Misreading a signal is not a big deal and it never should be, especially when an older man gets rejected by someone younger. One must expect it when taking that kind of leap.
if you are usually out with a crowd,,,then -yeah!! a man isnt going to approach a whole table,,,and try to start a conversation with a woman there,,while the whole group is looking on,,,,along with not knowing if you are a guys girlfriend- a guy isnt going to do that,,
now,,if you have eye contact a few times with a guy...and smile,,,he may time it so when you come back from the restroom,,,,he gets a chance to say hi...
i believe most woman have a shell around them,,against cold approaches,,meaning,,no matter what the guy says,,its very quickly dismissed or thrown into the cliche' realm women dont react well, when put on the spot- defenses go up..
so,,all you have to do is make eye contact, and smile,,,to a guy you like
It's often a can't win situation for men. Women want men to pursue and ask them out, but at the same time they are rarely receptable to it. If they are at a bar or club... they are there with their girlfriends and just want to have fun. If they are in a public place such as a cafe they think it's creepy if men approach them and so forth.
It seems 99% of the time women don't want to be approached at all. But they still want men to keep trying.
It's often a can't win situation for men. Women want men to pursue and ask them out, but at the same time they are rarely receptable to it. If they are at a bar or club... they are there with their girlfriends and just want to have fun. If they are in a public place such as a cafe they think it's creepy if men approach them and so forth.
It seems 99% of the time women don't want to be approached at all. But they still want men to keep trying.
Yes, it's called an ego boost. Nothing wrong with it just don't get disappointed when the men start to catch on to the game.
It's often a can't win situation for men. Women want men to pursue and ask them out, but at the same time they are rarely receptable to it. If they are at a bar or club... they are there with their girlfriends and just want to have fun. If they are in a public place such as a cafe they think it's creepy if men approach them and so forth.
It seems 99% of the time women don't want to be approached at all. But they still want men to keep trying.
Who told you it's creepy if men approach them in a cafe? There are cafes where women and men go specifically to look for prospects. You're new here, you haven't read all the threads where women say cafes, stores, public events, volunteer activities and sports groups, etc. are great places to approach women. Some women prefer not to be approached while running errands, shopping, etc., but many women are very amenable to that. Some change their clothes or put on make-up before going to the store, just in case someone interesting might be there. Don't be so defeatist. Maybe it's your approach style that's creepy, not the venue.
I just figure: Look at how she interacts with you as opposed to other guys. If shes friendly or even flirty with every guy, it means nothing more than friendly, if she goes OUT of her way to talk to you, contact you, then I figure its a green light.
That being said, my self confidence is much better, and I don't get hurt by a simple "no, thanks", there's SO many single women where I live.
Who told you it's creepy if men approach them in a cafe? There are cafes where women and men go specifically to look for prospects. You're new here, you haven't read all the threads where women say cafes, stores, public events, volunteer activities and sports groups, etc. are great places to approach women. Some women prefer not to be approached while running errands, shopping, etc., but many women are very amenable to that. Some change their clothes or put on make-up before going to the store, just in case someone interesting might be there. Don't be so defeatist. Maybe it's your approach style that's creepy, not the venue.
I don't have an approach style as I don't approach women. I try and meet women through friends or online.
It's just what I expect many women think about being approached in public places.(That they Think it's creepy)
But to take your examples.
Public events(concerts, shows, so forth) = They are there to watch whatever it is and don't want to be bothered by men.
Stores = They are there to shop, not talk with men.
Sports groups = They are there because they want to practice that sport, they don't want to get bothered by men their either.
These are just my guesses.
I don't think it's a good idea to approach women in public, wherever it might be. And I don't think women even really want it. So it would just seem like I'm bothering her if I were to do it.
It's a fine line to walk, women can smile and be polite and that doesn't necessarily means she is interested. It depends on so many factors such as the place where the interaction happens, the reason she is smiling, what she says etc. men of course are expected to read all this and interpret it correctly and then be ok with being rejected too. I guess it is easy to tell someone to just be rejected and move on when you are not the one who has to be on the receiving end.
I don't have an approach style as I don't approach women. I try and meet women through friends or online.
It's just what I expect many women think about being approached in public places.(That they Think it's creepy)
But to take your examples.
Public events(concerts, shows, so forth) = They are there to watch whatever it is and don't want to be bothered by men.
Stores = They are there to shop, not talk with men.
Sports groups = They are there because they want to practice that sport, they don't want to get bothered by men their either.
These are just my guesses.
I don't think it's a good idea to approach women in public, wherever it might be. And I don't think women even really want it. So it would just seem like I'm bothering her if I were to do it.
Lots of inappropriate assumptions here. You're guessing, you don't actually know. And you're doing yourself a disservice by making these negative assumptions. (You and a lot of other guys out there.)
Neighborhood sports leagues and local hiking organizations are a MAJOR way couples meet where I used to live, in Seattle. In California, the Sierra Club has singles hiking groups. In stores, some women do want to be left alone to shop, but others go with the hope that they might run into someone interesting. In my town, Whole Foods was voted Best Place For Singles To Meet one year. Another year it was a local bookstore. Public events: that's one reason many women GO to public events! They're scouting for men! (DUH! ) <----- Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
I don't have an approach style as I don't approach women. I try and meet women through friends or online.
It's just what I expect many women think about being approached in public places.(That they Think it's creepy)
But to take your examples.
Public events(concerts, shows, so forth) = They are there to watch whatever it is and don't want to be bothered by men.
Stores = They are there to shop, not talk with men.
Sports groups = They are there because they want to practice that sport, they don't want to get bothered by men their either.
These are just my guesses.
I don't think it's a good idea to approach women in public, wherever it might be. And I don't think women even really want it. So it would just seem like I'm bothering her if I were to do it.
I can see this point of view .If I was in the dating world today I would be apprehensive about approaching women, I would be ok with saying hi and maybe crossing a few words but I would not be persistent because that makes you creepy in many women's eyes. Even members of the military are seen as creeps by some women. Where I live there is a large military presence and one girl who works at the mall where I shop for my vitamins told me that she doesn't like going out to the local bars and clubs anymore because of all the creepy military guys that are always around bugging her. Her words not mine.
Men: How did you learn to tell the diff between friendly and interested?.
I didn't. But I DID learn how to communicate with other adults AS adults. And I did learn to stop treating relationships with the opposite sex - sexual or platonic - like relationships between foreign countries grounded in subterfuge and propoganda and intelligence gathering.
If you want to know if another person is interested romantically in you - communicate with that person. Simples.
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) <----- Sorry, I couldn't help myself. 
