Men: How did you learn to tell the diff between friendly and interested? (how to, love)
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Women speak disparagingly of other women when they note them sending "obvious" signals of romantic interest to men. So there's a risk in humiliation with peers. Your female peers may say "oh she's desperate & pathetic, chasing after him - look he's not even interested!" and stuff like that.
Women likely don't realize their signals are too subtle for men. I think there's an aiming to send something clear enough for the guy to get without appearing desperate or silly.
The problem with a very obvious, quick signal is you don't know if the guy is interested either, and now you have no slow building dynamic for a gauge. You risk more direct rejection/humiliation, and unless it's someone you will likely never see again, then it's something you have to face every time you see the person. I think women seek to appear open & approachable more than interested because of this.
I realize men face this dilemma also, but I think women are judged more harshly for unrequited romantic interested. There are stronger negative connotations of her being desperate or a flirt or whatever.
that's interesting, that's not a dynamic that women (on here) often admit to or talk about.
No, I'm early 30's and I still don't know when a woman is "flirting" with me or not. Apparently I'm cluessless, because when I go out with my co workers or one of my buddys they always say women are "flirting" with me or "that chick wants you bad" or "you just got chose". I just see it as women being friendly. I hope I'm wrong, becase that means I've done blown a lot of damn ass!
There's a attraction theory that suggests anytime a woman gives you an extended glance, she's into you/likes something about you. The thinking is that women have an automatic neurological response to men with certain features that "fits" an deeply rooted image of their ideal mate, and often it's comparable to the same male features their father had. I've had at least a couple of LTRs where my gf said I looked like orhad similar qualities of her dad, which I don't attribute to coincidence.
My recommendation is that guys should approach women who give extended glances, even if it's just to say hello and make small talk.
I notice so many men have trouble with this -- even men in their 60's!
If a woman is smiling, open, and friendly, they can't tell whether she is also interested in them romantically or not. (Usually they think she is, and then feel hurt when they turn out to be wrong.)
So, guys who have learned this skill, how did you do it? Help out your brothers .
I haven't figured this out either.
I usually default to the position that she is just being friendly, usually a woman has to make it pretty obvious that she is 'into' me.
I've seen guys and a woman walks by and barely glances their direction and they practically sport you know what........ I never understood that extreme side of it.
Just because some woman is civil to a man, she's "totally into me"... LOL, at least that is the way some guys roll.
that's interesting, that's not a dynamic that women (on here) often admit to or talk about.
It's not most women, just enough to make it hard for others sometimes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nokiddin
There's a attraction theory that suggests anytime a woman gives you an extended glance, she's into you/likes something about you. The thinking is that women have an automatic neurological response....
There are other things like unconsciously exposing the wrists (ie. when holding something) & neck in a head tilt to the man, for the same reason non-crossed arms looks "friendlier" - it shows openness & vulnerability. Touching her hair & neck is a big one too.
I notice so many men have trouble with this -- even men in their 60's!
If a woman is smiling, open, and friendly, they can't tell whether she is also interested in them romantically or not. (Usually they think she is, and then feel hurt when they turn out to be wrong.)
So, guys who have learned this skill, how did you do it? Help out your brothers .
I personally can't tell the difference. I just bite the bullet and see where it goes.
I notice so many men have trouble with this -- even men in their 60's!
If a woman is smiling, open, and friendly, they can't tell whether she is also interested in them romantically or not. (Usually they think she is, and then feel hurt when they turn out to be wrong.)
So, guys who have learned this skill, how did you do it? Help out your brothers .
good question, this is partly why most men are squirrely
there should be a universal signal ..if women are interested ,,so men dont miss opportunities,,,or start chasing a girl thats NOT interested..
some signal, subtle, but obvious,,,i vote for a quick lift of the shirt
Gosh, this has been a complete surprise! It never occurred to me that people would just unanimously say it was impossible.
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