I love the idea of marriage. (dating, men, statistics, sex)
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Well, for what it's worth, if anyone should be bitter about marriage, I should be one of those people--but I am not.
Short story. I am divorced. My Ex-husband cheated on me, he left me, he also left me holding the bag on a lot of debt that we had to split 50/50 (along with assets 50/50). If you want to get technical about things, over the course of the marriage I made a lot more money than he did, so in that respect I got burned. I also had a nest egg when the marriage started that disappeared and got a $30k inheritance about 10 months before he left me that he spent entirely on himself (used it for college tuition--I agreed to it. But I didn't know he'd leave me).
He was a bad egg as far as spouses go.
But I know he's not the representative of all men in this world. If anything, I am the eternal optimist and have hope in mankind. I think most men are good and most marriages are good (most marriages DON'T end in divorce... not even 50% that's an outdated and overly misquoted statistic).
Marriage isn't a huge goal of mine, but I do think about it and it might happen in the future. And I might be an optimist, but I am not stupid. I plan on a pre-nup if there is a round two. I've rebuilt my assets post-divorce and want to protect them. And since most men my age who are single are also divorced--I think most of them would see the wisdom in that.
I do want someone to spend my life with... I know it's hokey and maybe old fashion, but I want to find a man to pledge my love, loyalty and support to (and I want his love, loyalty and support). I want to live life, retire, and grow old with that man and be buried next to him.
Like I said marriage isn't an over-arching "goal" of mine. But if I find the right man and he finds me, I can easily see it happening again. It does have advantages that even just living together doesn't (without spouting off a list, why do you think gays are fighting so hard to have the right to marry?) It's not just about a piece of paper as people put it. I just plan on being more wise and more cautious before saying I do ever again.
Same goes for me and my sisters. To be perfectly honest, getting married 40 years ago, when people took marriage seriously and getting married today, are two completely different things. It is really, really hard to find someone today, who is willing to make a marriage work, and geting married to someone who will walk in five years, because they are having a bad day or simply arent happy anymore, is a waste of time and energy. Thank your feminist sisters and their no fault divorce for that one. Big contribution to slow decay of our society via destruction of family unit.
I have people in my family that married 10 years ago and take their marriage seriously.
Isn't always the case. My parents are happily married 37 years. Always put their marriage first. I think the high expectation of their marriage in my mind deterred me (and my brother) from ever wanting to get married ourselves.
I wonder how typical it is that positive role models have the opposite result. I never really considered that anyone may have an expectation of me to marry or not marry, have a successful marriage, etc....they really don't. My family is mostly just concerned with my happiness, whatever choices that involves.
Like I said marriage isn't an over-arching "goal" of mine.
Mine, either...but building a life with someone compatible with me definitely is. After a false start (no marriage in that case, thankfully), I'm well on my way.
Same goes for me and my sisters. To be perfectly honest, getting married 40 years ago, when people took marriage seriously and getting married today, are two completely different things. It is really, really hard to find someone today, who is willing to make a marriage work, and geting married to someone who will walk in five years, because they are having a bad day or simply arent happy anymore, is a waste of time and energy. Thank your feminist sisters and their no fault divorce for that one. Big contribution to slow decay of our society via destruction of family unit.
Yes, those pain in the a** women who will no longer sit down and take it.
There are plenty of women who WILL no longer sit and take it and try to WORK on their marriages (counseling whatever), however have a husband that believe it's their "marital right" to treat their wives that way and refuse to address the issues at hand.
I wonder how typical it is that positive role models have the opposite result. I never really considered that anyone may have an expectation of me to marry or not marry, have a successful marriage, etc....they really don't. My family is mostly just concerned with my happiness, whatever choices that involves.
Sorry if that came off confusing. My parents totally support me and my brothers decisions not to ever marry or have kids, they don't pressure us at all. It's the unreal expectation we place on ourselves that we know we can't recreate the marriage they have, so in turn we just opt out.
Yes, those pain in the a** women who will no longer sit down and take it.
There are plenty of women who WILL no longer sit and take it and try to WORK on their marriages (counseling whatever), however have a husband that believe it's their "marital right" to treat their wives that way and refuse to address the issues at hand.
Really? Have you checked who exactly files for divorce at what rates? Have you seen which sex pays most alimony as in 96% of all money paid? Have you thought how that pimps divorce to selfish and materialistic people? I completely understand that my opinions often seem outlandish and not PC, but let me assure you - I dont share anything on here that I havent considered, questioned, tested and confirmed a hundred times.
It would sure be nice to cook the family breakfast and dinner, and [spend time with] the family pet, and spend time with the wife at the end of the evening.
You don't need to be married to to all this and more.
If there are no kids involved, other than tax reasons and some estate planning reasons, I don't see any reason why two people should get married.
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