Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've been with my gf for 9 months and everything has been great... except the sex which has been ok. We're both in our mid twenties, she's a couple years younger than me. She's only had 2 relationships- one with a really "nice" guy where nothing sexual happened and the next one was with a "bad boy" jerk ******* who treated her like crap. She's just finally starting to open up about how bad it was and I could tell she was self-conscious about herself in bed which held things back. He told her that her vagina looked like it had been beat up and she was loose (keep in mind she was a virgin) and he made fun of her about everything. I asked her why she was with a guy like that and why she stayed. She said at first the bad boy, not caring image was attractive and it felt lustful and then when things got really bad she just felt like she had to stay in it bc it was her virginity. She told me he had all these tattoos and one below his belly button. I even facebook crept the guy and any post he made had "F***" in it over and over. I'm usually pretty secure about myself and sexually but I was starting to feel a little insecure and I didn't like it. I asked her how she felt about our sex-life and she said it doesn't even compare with that guy and if there is one thing she could take back in her life it'd be saving herself for me. And then I asked her another question which I shouldn't have that sounded insecure which was "Was he better in bed"... I know, stupid of me to do and I told her it was. She answered and said that she didn't really enjoy it and that she didn't have her first orgasm until she was with me. My question is, why the hell am I being so insecure? I think it's bc I'm looking at her like she is probably my future wife, but I need to vent a bit. Should I worry she went for a guy like this and should I worry about her still thinking about/having feelings for him? Can I take what she said as honest or trying to spare my feelings? The whole thing made me feel a little unattractive I guess and I hope she isn't looking at me as the cliche "nice" guy. I'm treat her good but I won't let her walk on me and in the bedroom I'm the one taking the lead. She is always talking about marriage with me and after hearing that stuff it makes me feel like she had her fun and now she wants the good guy to provide for her but really has more sexual interest in the "bad boy". Thanks for any input and sorry for the long rant.
I don't see any problem here, I think she really likes you, and she answered the questions very well so don't feel insecure.
BTW, here's a secret and be shush about it. Males that present themselves with "bad boy" and cuss a lot are the real insecure guys. They're too scared to admit it also.
I don't see any problem here, I think she really likes you, and she answered the questions very well so don't feel insecure.
BTW, here's a secret and be shush about it. Males that present themselves with "bad boy" and cuss a lot are the real insecure guys. They're too scared to admit it also.
Good luck.
Thanks for the reply. I don't understand why it's bothering so much when I know the guy himself just had low self-esteem. I guess I just worry that she enjoyed sex more with him or that she still has feelings for him
Thanks for the reply. I don't understand why it's bothering so much when I know the guy himself just had low self-esteem. I guess I just worry that she enjoyed sex more with him or that she still has feelings for him
Are you worried about her enjoying sex with him more than you?
Or, are you worried because you're questioning if you enjoy the sex with her but projecting it back onto her?
The real problem here is your insecurity about your sex life - he is just a scapegoat of an excuse when your real problem is determine how you measure up.
If you're not satisfied with the sex life, do something about it. If you push to explore more to make it more satisfying and rewarding for both of you, she will follow your lead as long as your gentle and encouraging.
Funny thing about women.... While there is talk about size, stamina and skills.... It doesn't stop there for us. If we're emotionally invested in a partner, the sex is better if he shows he is emotionally invested in return. The difference between "f***ing" and "making love" is yours to do with what you wish, but there is where the difference lies with your GF.
Are you worried about her enjoying sex with him more than you?
Or, are you worried because you're questioning if you enjoy the sex with her but projecting it back onto her?
The real problem here is your insecurity about your sex life - he is just a scapegoat of an excuse when your real problem is determine how you measure up.
If you're not satisfied with the sex life, do something about it. If you push to explore more to make it more satisfying and rewarding for both of you, she will follow your lead as long as your gentle and encouraging.
Funny thing about women.... While there is talk about size, stamina and skills.... It doesn't stop there for us. If we're emotionally invested in a partner, the sex is better if he shows he is emotionally invested in return. The difference between "f***ing" and "making love" is yours to do with what you wish, but there is where the difference lies with your GF.
It does come down to self-esteem bc I hope she enjoys it more with me than him. I'm being as honest as I can bc I want to change my thoughts with that. I've never really felt about someone like I do her and I think that's why I'm having these thoughts for the first time.
I've been with my gf for 9 months and everything has been great... except the sex which has been ok. We're both in our mid twenties, she's a couple years younger than me. She's only had 2 relationships- one with a really "nice" guy where nothing sexual happened and the next one was with a "bad boy" jerk ******* who treated her like crap. She's just finally starting to open up about how bad it was and I could tell she was self-conscious about herself in bed which held things back. He told her that her vagina looked like it had been beat up and she was loose (keep in mind she was a virgin) and he made fun of her about everything. I asked her why she was with a guy like that and why she stayed. She said at first the bad boy, not caring image was attractive and it felt lustful and then when things got really bad she just felt like she had to stay in it bc it was her virginity. She told me he had all these tattoos and one below his belly button. I even facebook crept the guy and any post he made had "F***" in it over and over. I'm usually pretty secure about myself and sexually but I was starting to feel a little insecure and I didn't like it. I asked her how she felt about our sex-life and she said it doesn't even compare with that guy and if there is one thing she could take back in her life it'd be saving herself for me. And then I asked her another question which I shouldn't have that sounded insecure which was "Was he better in bed"... I know, stupid of me to do and I told her it was. She answered and said that she didn't really enjoy it and that she didn't have her first orgasm until she was with me. My question is, why the hell am I being so insecure? I think it's bc I'm looking at her like she is probably my future wife, but I need to vent a bit. Should I worry she went for a guy like this and should I worry about her still thinking about/having feelings for him? Can I take what she said as honest or trying to spare my feelings? The whole thing made me feel a little unattractive I guess and I hope she isn't looking at me as the cliche "nice" guy. I'm treat her good but I won't let her walk on me and in the bedroom I'm the one taking the lead. She is always talking about marriage with me and after hearing that stuff it makes me feel like she had her fun and now she wants the good guy to provide for her but really has more sexual interest in the "bad boy". Thanks for any input and sorry for the long rant.
You sound like a woman.
Seriously!
Your gunna blow it if you keep letting your mouth expose your thoughts.
Because he had sex with your girlfriend and does not care/moved on quickly? You sound more angry than insecure.
If I had to take a wild guess: this guy has sex with a lot of different women?
If yes, it's probably hard to come to terms with the fact your current girl fell for a player. Eh, happens.
Actually, the guy tried getting back with her before I met her and then again he tried to contact her again a couple months after I met her.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
