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DON'T start with the "arm around the shoulder" move. It's too much, too soon.
Using the original scenario, he's in a room with other people, and he barely remembered to speak to this girl.
OP, start with non-committal "flirty" touching, as someone suggested early on, like holding her hand to look at ... somthing... her nails, a ring, a watch, a scar, and ask her about it. See, you don't really CARE about the ring, her nails, etc. It's just an excuse to hold her hand for a second.
In the original scenario, I wouldn't even start with touching. He could have leaned over and made a joke about the movie they were watching so only she could hear. If she laughs, he's in. Keep his body language open, angling toward her rather than sitting with crossed arms and legs. That sort of thing.
In the original scenario, I wouldn't even start with touching. He could have leaned over and made a joke about the movie they were watching so only she could hear. If she laughs, he's in. Keep his body language open, angling toward her rather than sitting with crossed arms and legs. That sort of thing.
Exactly right. You can't just sit down and grab a body part.
It's a process of graduated engagement. This scenario ^^^, leaning in, etc., would be a perfect way to start.
Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AStalkingButler
Went to a friend's house to watch a movie. He has a room which was dark with a large TV and couches arranged around it in a half-square. I came late, and right when I walked in the room this one girl, "Tammy", who I think likes me moved over to make room for me to sit by her. So I did. Just kinda sat there and tried not to be too tense. As the movie was going, Tammy started looking down at her phone. Then I make eye contact with a girl sitting in the couch across from me and she's signalling me to do something. Like she's pointing her eyes at me and then at Tammy to try and signal me to make a move.
This is what sucks about being inexperienced and physically unconfident. I have great opportunities but I lose out to guys who know what to do. Like seriously, if I was sexually experienced and confident then I would have no problem getting laid.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that WHAT you say is important. Most of our chatter as social primates is inane and semantically meaningless. This is what "weather" was invented for, or in the case of the movie you could chuckle and grunt something about how cool that car exploding was. Then when she turns to you and starts jabbering, you could begin grooming her hair as if she were a baboon in heat.
So the key here is to be able to easily chatter about nothing to women, which takes practice. Every time you see a girl standing alone go ahead and chat her up.
Oh and don't talk about any of this with your "date"... Math, grammar, and programmer talk is like sexual repellent.
Try something very old fashioned....beauty and the soul of great music has a magical effect on woman...I don't care how young you are - find some Etta James tunes...turn down the lights and slow dance.....take your time and drift away. Real slow dancing cheek to cheek - and tenderly holding her will MELT her...trust me on this one- forget about putting on some beats- go old school and get it done the old way.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that WHAT you say is important. Most of our chatter as social primates is inane and semantically meaningless. This is what "weather" was invented for, or in the case of the movie you could chuckle and grunt something about how cool that car exploding was. Then when she turns to you and starts jabbering, you could begin grooming her hair as if she were a baboon in heat.
So the key here is to be able to easily chatter about nothing to women, which takes practice. Every time you see a girl standing alone go ahead and chat her up.
The weather is an important topic. It is not to be treated casually.
Personally, I'd advise that you stop thinking in terms of "what to do" (as if there's some sort of algorithm for interpersonal interactions) and just be genuine. I know that sounds corny, but it's a cliche for a reason - it's true. If you're following some sort of contrived "procedure," she's likely to feel like she's simply being used by some unrelatable automaton, and that'll just backfire on you.
What is it that makes you lack confidence? What is it that you perceive as being "wrong?" What are you afraid will happen if you make a "mistake" or show a little vulnerability?
Personally, I'd advise that you stop thinking in terms of "what to do" (as if there's some sort of algorithm for interpersonal interactions) and just be genuine. I know that sounds corny, but it's a cliche for a reason - it's true. If you're following some sort of contrived "procedure," she's likely to feel like she's simply being used by some unrelatable automaton, and that'll just backfire on you.
What is it that makes you lack confidence? What is it that you perceive as being "wrong?" What are you afraid will happen if you make a "mistake" or show a little vulnerability?
That he will be relentlessly mocked and ridiculed.
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