Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think a great way to start a new friendship with people is to directly mislead them for your own benefit. And if you are lucky, you can mislead them until they actually become interested in you. By that time, you can tell them multiple other lies to build your self worth in their eyes. Then they fall in love with the fake you, and you two live happily ever after.
(that was sarcasm)
If online dating isn't yielding the results you aren't happy with, then try another means of dating.
Of course, YOU could always message the guys you are interested in. That way you control the age of the guys you chat with more.
If guys you are interested in do not respond to your messages, then try a different dating avenue. Or, change your standards. At some point you have to figure out what is working and what isn't. Some people don't have trouble dating. Some do. If you struggle, then you are most likely pursuing the wrong guys.
Thanks for the advice. I agree that I should be honest, but I'm an introvert simply trying to possibly meet someone nice (because unfortunately, I'm running out of time) to start a family. Offline, I do not really come across as an approachable person, so guys rarely hit on me. Unfortunately, the few that do, are far too young (early 20s or recent college grads). I'm ashamed to admit that I've even been hit on by high school boys, while jogging at the H.S. Track just 6 months ago.
I do not have any friends in the area (since I relocated to this city, due to my job) so I rarely go out on the weekends. Unfortunately, online is the easiest and preferred way for me to meet different types of interesting guys who want to establish a long-term relationship.
Is it okay for a man who is 40 to change his age to 28 because everyone says he looks young? How would you feel if went out on a date with this man only to find out he is 40?
I agree it's wrong, but I'm hoping that the person won't be too upset, especially because I look so young and we will still be close in age, if he's in his early 30s.
have you tried just messaging men of the age you want whose profiles you like?
Yes, OP. How do men your age react when you message them? Do they ask for a more "recent" photo? And what do they say when you tell them it's a recent photo? I think you should try this first, before taking the other step.
Also, since you're new in your town, you should try joining meet-up groups, volunteering, and sports or hiking groups and other activities, to try to meet people your age. The group-activity strategy works better for introverts, since they can get to know people over time.
have you tried just messaging men of the age you want whose profiles you like?
I'm an introvert. I know it's very old fashioned, but I feel like the guy should be the first to send messages. I don't want to come across as desperate. Even though it's online, I would still like it to be somewhat traditional and for him to make the first move. I am not looking for a fling, I'm looking for someone who is interested in a long-term relationship which leads to marriage.
Lately I've been getting very worried that if I don't find someone compatible to marry within the next two years, I'll become a spinster. I'm obsessed with attracting a good match.
Yes, OP. How do men your age react when you message them? Do they ask for a more "recent" photo? And what do they say when you tell them it's a recent photo? I think you should try this first, before taking the other step.
Also, since you're new in your town, you should try joining meet-up groups, volunteering, and sports or hiking groups and other activities, to try to meet people your age. The group-activity strategy works better for introverts, since they can get to know people over time.
I have never sent a guy any messages. Each morning and during the evening, I simply check my inbox and look at the profiles of the guys who left messages. So far, it hasn't been good. I am thinking that I should try a different paid site after my membership expires with the younger age, next time around. I feel a bit depressed when I see messages from the 40+ older looking guys.
Meet up groups do not really work for me because I am a classic introvert and socially awkward. My offline people skills are very bad. To be honest, I'm fortunate that my work is completely independent and doesn't require a lot of social interaction, otherwise I'd be in a lot of trouble.
I'm an introvert. I know it's very old fashioned, but I feel like the guy should be the first to send messages. I don't want to come across as desperate. .
Judging by all the complaints we get on C-D from men who rarely get messaged by women on online dating sites, you wouldn't come across as desperate at all. Men would be relieved and pleasantly surprised that a woman messaged them. You wouldn't even have to message them, you could give them a wink, and let them send the first message, if it's important to you for them to message first.
I'm an introvert. I know it's very old fashioned, but I feel like the guy should be the first to send messages. I don't want to come across as desperate. Even though it's online, I would still like it to be somewhat traditional and for him to make the first move. I am not looking for a fling, I'm looking for someone who is interested in a long-term relationship which leads to marriage.
Lately I've been getting very worried that if I don't find someone compatible to marry within the next two years, I'll become a spinster. I'm obsessed with attracting a good match.
It is 2013. Embrace what 1000's of woman fought for over the past 50 years.
Engaging a guy or messaging him first is completely ok in this day and age. In fact, many women have been hitting on guys, chatting them up, and approaching them for decades.
I am beginning to think your concept of dating and men and you ideals are your problem with dating, as opposed to the age of the men approaching you. I understand you may look young, but seldom are guys completely clueless as to womens age. I have a really hard time believing no guys in their 30's hit on you at all.
And frankly, you sound more concerned with 'having a baby' then finding a life partner. You bio-clock is going crazy, and you need to dial it down. Men don't like desperation, no one does.
In this economy, and with current divorce rates, few men are in a hurry to start a family. 1950 was a long time ago.
Stop looking for a 'good match', and go make some friends and enjoy life. It isn't a mans role in life to have a child with you.
Judging by all the complaints we get on C-D from men who rarely get messaged by women on online dating sites, you wouldn't come across as desperate at all. Men would be relieved and pleasantly surprised that a woman messaged them. You wouldn't even have to message them, you could give them a wink, and let them send the first message, if it's important to you for them to message first.
I wish that I had such courage. I honestly fear rejection, so I prefer not to wink or send messages. Also, I'm traditional.
I'm an introvert. I know it's very old fashioned, but I feel like the guy should be the first to send messages. I don't want to come across as desperate. Even though it's online, I would still like it to be somewhat traditional and for him to make the first move. I am not looking for a fling, I'm looking for someone who is interested in a long-term relationship which leads to marriage.
Lately I've been getting very worried that if I don't find someone compatible to marry within the next two years, I'll become a spinster. I'm obsessed with attracting a good match.
and, ahem, "artificially deflating" your age is a traditional approach?
perhaps you should reconsider your viewpoint if it's leading you to eschew taking initiative in favor of scheming
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
