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No need to blame yourself, you probably did everything you were supposed to do. The fact that he doesn't want to see you anymore is just a sign of a lack of attraction.
Does it ever occur to the women on this board that if two people have sex, it's possible that one of them didn't like the sex? In which case, the one who didn't like it no longer wants to see the other again. Like seriously, women think we're all about one night stands/conquests, but why, if the girl was attractive and the sex was good, would any sane man dump her/stop seeing her immediately? My point is, they had sex and he probably just wasn't feeling that sexual chemistry...something you can only realize once you actually have sex.
I'm sure women have had sex with a man, he was no good, and stopped seeing him after that. It sounds harsh, but sometimes it takes getting naked with someone to realize that you're actually not that attracted to them (be it physically, emotionally, whatever).
This is something I've never really understood...is everyone so focused on immediate gratification that if they sex isn't mind-blowing the first time they just move on? Do people understand that sometimes it takes a few times to learn about the other person rhythm, wants and needs? I'm assuming they just don't want to put in an effort at all, but to write someone off because the sex was bad the very first time seems like jumping the gun a bit.
This is something I've never really understood...is everyone so focused on immediate gratification that if they sex isn't mind-blowing the first time they just move on? Do people understand that sometimes it takes a few times to learn about the other person rhythm, wants and needs? I'm assuming they just don't want to put in an effort at all, but to write someone off because the sex was bad the very first time seems like jumping the gun a bit.
I'm a guy and it's happened to me from NOT having sex with a girl. We had a great first date, went to 3 different places, I got really drunk (well we both did), ended up in her bed. And let's just say, mixing different types of alcohol (beer, vodka, wine) isn't a good recipe for getting it up...and she basically said, after a few weeks of me trying to set up a 2nd date, via text that she didn't think there was any sexual chemistry between us....haha, I was like, seriously, you know how much I drank that night?
i met a guy online and we went out for a first coffee date. I was instinctly attracted to him. the attraction was so strong that it's almost scary. I'm pretty selective in general.
He sent me an email after the date saying that I was "quite attractive" in person, that he would like to meet again. I was so happy and immediately agreed to meet again.
After second date however, he became super busy( which i know he really was.) and we haven't seen each other for over a month although we live 30 minutes away. we rarely texted each other either. I tried to text him once, he didn't reply my last text so i stopped. He would text me like once a week. I always responded positively.
After he's done with the project he was working on, he finally asked me out for a third date, we had a nice time at his house, had sex, i spent the night, (I know some might say too early but i'm an adult and i felt it and wanted it)we lied in bed talking until 3 in the morning. Upon my leaving, he asked when can he see me again, I said next Saturday.
after I got home, i didn't hear anything from him again, it felt weird but i didn't try to text him either. Nothing until Friday, he sent me an email saying that he feels apart from the physical attraction, we don't have real connection. that we don't even talk/texting between dates which is weird to him.
I was crushed as i did like him, but replied to accept it, and asked why he didn't text if he felt weird about no talking. He said he's as guilty and his excuse was that he's busy, but neither one of us make any effort with each other which is not ok to him.
Was I not trying enough? was I really part to blame? I know shouldn't matter now but I would feel good if I know i have done everything i could.
Sorry the post is long and thanks for reading.
He got what he wanted. He wasn't interested from the getgo, that's why you didn't hear from him. But you made yourself very available, so he took what was offered. I don't know why you people don't learn.
Sadly I speak from experience (though not from online). I've never gotten that far in online dating but yes in off line this has happened. I think women sometimes rush it thinking it will mean a relationship when often to the man it is just sex. If this is fine with both I see no problem but is a problem when one wants a relationship.
This is something I've never really understood...is everyone so focused on immediate gratification that if they sex isn't mind-blowing the first time they just move on? Do people understand that sometimes it takes a few times to learn about the other person rhythm, wants and needs? I'm assuming they just don't want to put in an effort at all, but to write someone off because the sex was bad the very first time seems like jumping the gun a bit.
I think it depends on what's wrong with the sex.
Sometimes you can just tell that you want two different kinds of sex, and no compromise is going to be a happy one. Fetishes are the obvious example. But also stuff like sensuality vs. no conception of sensuality...
The whole waiting around for him to communicate with you via text message is what killed it. Why did you put all the responsibility on him to stay in contact? If you were so attracted to the guy would it have killed you to send him a text first?
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